Revelation

Do you remember?

2011-08-31T09:21:00.002+08:00

Would you look at me,
Sobbing like there is no tomorrow,
Feeling quite a bit of sorrow,
I miss when I could still say "we"

Looking up at the moon
I begin to think of you
Our helium filled balloon
That single beautiful rose

2011-08-30T21:09:00.003+08:00

Today the sky was a beautiful azure
But I felt the darkest of blue
It was a view together we'd treasure
Everything seems to remind me of you

You are the one who was an inspiration
Without you seems like pandemonium
You seem to steer me in the right direction
Why, you inspired me to write this very poem

However, you are not to blame
It's just that it is such a shame
I thought we fit quite well together
But I guess I was right after all
There is, in fact, someone better.

2011-08-30T13:27:00.003+08:00

People with problems left unfed,
They are simply ignored instead,
People who are hurting deep inside,
Look for someone in who they can confide

Who will lend a helping hand?
Take time to truly understand
Who is real and true?
One that won't back stab you.

[Written around May, 2011]

2011-03-09T18:37:00.003+08:00

I guess things aren't meant to last.
As we head to our future, we leave our past.
Never did I think I'd leave you behind,
but I'm without you now and I find that I'm fine.

I used to think that we could last years,
made stronger by both our laughs and our tears.
Never did I imagine that we'd somehow drift,
but the conversation's gone dry and our words are stiff.

I wished and hoped that we wouln't end,
like many of our other separated friends.
Never could I predict that we'd be that way,
but it's been months and I have nothing to say.

I blamed other people for our mistakes,
anything but to face this terrible fate.
Never could I have foreseen this future,
but here I stand in the present and the fact couldn't be any truer.

2011-03-01T17:22:00.001+08:00

Do you usually get home late?
It's nearly 10 and you're always back by 8.
Vexed, perplexed, a jumble of emotions.
Oh why does your coat smell like a woman's lotion?
Rampage, rage, how could you do this?
Crushing my life, my dreams, our bliss?
Enough's enough I know what to do, about this problem between me and you.

Remember.

2011-01-12T17:07:00.002+08:00

Do you remember those days when we always talked?
Whenever we met up, people always gawked.

Do you remember that time when you knew I wasn't fine?
Even though I tried my best to keep it all inside?

Do you remember those days when we laughed over silly things?
Now it's those silly things that I'm always missing.

We had always talked and made time for each other,
but now we can't even be bothered.

I always say that I'll talk to you one day,
but weeks have passed and I just don't know what to say.

We've become those friends that politely say hello,
whenever we meet up and then politely go.

We've become those friends that constantly miss each other,
but have no idea what to do when we are together.

No matter how many days will pass, or months or years,
I'll always remember our laughs, smiles and tears.

New York, New York's updated. :)

2010-09-27T23:15:00.001+08:00

HEY!

2010-09-26T17:58:00.003+08:00

So...How To Get A Boyfriend just ended. :( Please ignore all the grammatical errors, I was in a rush to finish it.
Because....I'M STARTING ON A NEW STORY! :) And it's a continuation of The Hollywood Vines' characters! I'm so psyched cause I've been planning it for weeks now!
So...without further ado, here's the link: New York, New York.
I haven't posted anything up, though. But I will sometime next week or maybe tonight, if I feel like it.

Oh and, please read Wai's Starstrucked, if you haven't already. :) It kicks ass. ;)
And if you're a Potterhead like me, you'd probably like to read this: The Harry Potter Files.

Thanks so much for reading! Personally, I don't know why you do, but I'm really grateful all the same. :)

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 30; Human. (Part 2)

2010-09-26T15:58:00.003+08:00

Logan found me 15 minutes later, sitting on the edge of the school's fountain, trying to not to stick my head in the shallow water and stay there for all eternity.
He held out the school's coffee at me. I took it out of politeness, but chose not to drink it. I was afraid I might puke out whatever I filled my stomach with.
"Did you hear? Riley and Savannah got together," Logan told me.
"That's great," I said, genuinely happy for them. Looks like Riley got the hint.
"You alright?" he asked, sitting beside me. His warmth and vanilla cologne had an inexplicable comforting effect on me.
"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up," I answered, squeezing the styrofoam cup to warm my freezing hands.
"Was it better if you didn't know who did it?" he asked, worriedly.
I mulled over the pros and cons. Pros: I would still have my bestfriend. Cons: She would back stab me all the while. And really, I don't need a friend like that. "It's better that I did."
"Good."
"It was your doing, wasn't it?" I guessed. I just had a sudden inkling about it.
Logan nodded. "Me...and Nate."
"Nate?" I said, "When?"
"He called me this morning," Logan explained, "Told me he regretted everything. And that he wanted to make up for what he did. So he told me everything. Including the little deal he made with Diana."
"But you looked like you wanted to throttle him this morning," I said, feeling confused. "Was that an act?"
"No. I really did want to throttle him," Logan admitted, with a smile, "But that was part of the plan. He shows up to school. Pretends he wanted to tell you everything. Then I cut him off before he could say anything. Just to throw Diana off our scent. Then, he sneaks into the headmaster's office, which I conveniently cleared out, changed his voice, and tells the whole school what a Brutus your bestfriend really is."
I sighed tiredly. Placing my untouched coffee at my side, I doubled over, staring at my black Chanel pumps.
"I want to hate her," I admitted, concentrating on the stoned pavement. "I want to. I should. But I can't. I can't. Because she is--was my bestfriend. And I'm hurt more than angry. I'm just so stupid."
Logan gently tugged me to sit upright. I did so, unwillingly. "You're not stupid. You're just too eager to give people second chances. You want to believe that everyone has a good side. You're too trusting."
I doubled over again, seeing my ginger red hair nearly touching the pavement. "I don't want to be."
"But that's who you are, and you can't change that," he said, pulling me up again. "And I love you, Bex, just the way you are."
"Really?" I said, feeling giddy again, despite the tugging sensation in my stomach that told me I had an ex-bestfriend to deal with.
"Yes," he answered, "I love you because you have your flaws, because you blush whenever you're shy, which is often, and whenever you lie, because you're friendly with everyone, which is why the whole soccer team loves you by the way--not sure how I feel about that--because you think that everyone has a good side. Because you're human."
"That's quite a speech," I teased, nudging him playfully. It was nice to just joke around. Instead of thinking about my vengeful bestfriend who'd like nothing better than to see me miserable and non-existent.
"I've been meaning to make it for a while now," he answered, nudging me back.
"I guess there's really a lot of things that I don't know about you," I said, "Like, which college you want to go to."
"Princeton."
"Or your favourite food."
"Nachos."
"But still," I continued, "There's a lot. Maybe we're rushing into this." I felt myself panic.
He took my hand and held it up with my palms facing upward. Then, he took a small golden key that glinted in the evening sun, from his pocket. He placed it on my awaiting palm.
"There," he said, closing my hand over the key. "Everything you need to know about me. If you think we're still rushing, then we'll go slow."
"This is the key to your diary!" I gasped.
"Yeah, it is," he answered, "I give you permission to read all my secrets."
"And to announce it to the whole school?"
"Don't push your luck," he scoffed but flashed me a smile nonetheless.
I kissed him on the cheek before standing up. "Thank you. You really cheered me up."
"What are boyfriends for," he said.
I didn't correct him.

I pushed the doors to the auditorium open and sure enough, Savannah was on stage. She was wearing her headset and she held a plastic clipboard under her arm. I couldn't help but think that she looked more at home than when she was acting.
"Hey," I greeted.
Savannah stopped directing her two assistants and glanced at me, before breaking into a grin.
"Hey!" she replied.
"Do you have a minute?" I asked.
"Sure." She held up one finger at me. "Hold on a sec," she said into the mike that was attached to the headset. "What's up?" She took off the headset and hung it around her neck.
I took out the play's script from my totebag and held it out to her. Please tell me this a good decision. "I want you to play the part of Kayla Landon."
"Huh?" She blinked a few times.
"You deserve this part," I began, "I mean....you guys are dating now."
Savannah smiled softly. "Do you want to know why I tried out for that part? Because I wanted him to fall for me. I don't like acting. I like being behind the limelight. Now that I got him, I have no reason to play that part. And truth be told, you're a great actress."
I pondered at the thought that not too long ago I wanted nothing more than for her to disappear.
"Thanks," I said, slipping the script into my bag, gratefully. The truth was, I really loved being in stage. Especially the part where I get to play the piano.
"I should be thanking you," Savannah said, "Riley told me about what you said to him. Thanks."
"I only gave him the guidelines, he thought of you all by himself," I admitted.
"Regardless, thanks."
"Your welcome," I said. I couldn't help but smile back at her. How on earth could I hate someone like her? Jealousy's an evil bitch.
"Oh and Rebecca," Savannah said just as I was about to walk off the stage, "I know you probably hate Diana, but could you tell her I said goodbye?"
"Goodbye?" I said, feeling confused.
"Yeah, didn't you know? She's moving back with her parents to Jersey."

I reached Diana's room, hoping she hadn't left yet. After pacing the corridor for several times, I wiped my sweaty hands at my sides, and banged the door.
Diana opened it. Upon seeing me, her whole expression changed. She looked...guilty. I could see Jane at the side, helping Diana pack her stuff.
I returned my attention back to Diana and suddenly she wasn't the bestfriend who betrayed, hurt me, framed me and let the whole school hate. Suddenly, she was just my bestfriend. The girl who sat beside me whenever we watched a chick flick. The girl who cried along with me when we watched Titanic. The girl who I shared a tub of Ben and Jerry's with at Sunday Seven Scoop.
Then we were in each others arms in a flash, crying and apologizing.
"I'm sorry," Diana croaked, when we broke apart, "I was--am so stupid."
"I'm sorry, too," I stuttered, wiping my eyes. "Please don't go."
"I have to," Diana said, "I feel so guilty, Becky."
"But I forgive you."
"I don't." She dried her eyes. "I don't forgive myself. I need to do this."
I nodded my head, sadly. "I'll miss you."
"Really after all I've done?"
"You're human, after all."
We hugged for one last and, after a promise to keep in touch, we broke apart. And that was the last I saw of her.

I've been up all night, reading Logan's diary.
His favorite movie is The Godfather, his favorite song changes with the seasons(well that's what I deduced, anyway), he plans to go to either Princeton or Stanford, his bestfriends are Chace and Trent(well duh) and they've known each other since they were 5. He went to Westchester elementary and Weschester middle school. His favorite sport is lacrosse and he only played soccer because Chace forced him to.
He started dating girls when he was 15 and I'm, surprisingly, his first real girlfriend.
I collapsed on my bed, spreadeagled. Isn't it funny that a month ago I was just this girl who never had a boyfriend and had a serious trouble of actually talking to the boy she liked and here I am now, waiting for my boyfriend's message.
So how exactly did I get a boyfriend?
This is what Logan taught me:

1) Never strike up the conversation first.
2) Never look him in the eyes first.
3) Act like you don't care but not so much that he starts to think you're rejecting him.
4) Make the conversation light, but with subtle flirting so he knows that you're not just friends.
5) Flash him a smile once in a while.

But here's what I taught myself.
1) Never strike up the conversation first.
2) Never look him in the eyes first.
3) Act like you don't care but not so much that he starts to think you're rejecting him.
4) Make the conversation light, but with subtle flirting so he knows that you're not just friends.
5) Flash him a smile once in a while.
6) Be yourself.

The end.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 30: Fri-ends. (Part I)

2010-09-26T06:53:00.004+08:00

My heart was beating twice as fast when I was running to Logan because I was excited and anxious as well. I have to tell him. Usually, I would just sit back, terrified to do anything, but this time, I had to tell him. Because he wasn't going to wait forever.
And even though my legs ached, I didn't stop, because I knew that if I did, my irrationality will stop along with it, and I would just doubt my decision. Well, not this time. This time I'll tell him, how I really feel.
I arrived at the soccer field gasping and panting, my eyes peeling for Logan's soft blond hair. My heart felt like it stopped beating when I saw his piercing blue eyes look straight at me, and never left. Does he know?
I was about to take a step forward when he broke our fierce gaze battle and tore his eyes away from mine, turning his attention to his teammates, instead. And that was all it took for me to doubt my decision.
He probably hates me after pushing him so insensitively this morning. Or maybe...it's because he heard all these rumors flying around. It's not a surprise that he was on Sienna's side. It's not a surprise that he would act angry.
But what was surprising was the fact that he didn't even acknowledged me. He looked away, like I wasn't even there, like I was invisible. Like I didn't matter...to him.
I walked away feeling dejected.

The next day did little to lift my spirits up. For one, the weather decided to mirror my feelings and brought out the storm. And it was also all three science subjects today. What fun today will be.
After Nat told me she was too sick to come to school, I walked out, not bothering to equip myself with an umbrella. I thought I deserved to look how I feel; miserable, upset, depressed, angry, disappointed. Feelings that I failed to mention to Nat when I told her how the confession went. I just said that he didn't feel the same and that I was still numb. The truth was, I was numb with disappointment. I think she knew I was lying, but she chose to let it go.
I arrived at the main building half an hour later, drenching wet. Drops of water fell on the floor as I walked to the cafeteria. All eyes were on me because 1) the rumors still hadn't stopped and 2) I was wetter than all of them combined.
I stopped in my tracks in front of the Chemistry Lab as I heard my name uttered. The lab was at the last corridor and thus, was desolate so I heard my name perfectly well.
"...Rebecca's fault!" a guy said. Logan. I know it's him. But with...who?
"Stop sticking up for her! You know she spread all these lies!" Okay so, Logan and Sienna were talking about me?
I knew I should walk away, before someone sees me and spreads even more lies about what a shameful eavesdropper I was, but I just couldn't. I had to hear what Logan was saying about me.
"They're not lies, if they're true," he said, "Oh don't look at me like that! Everyone knows it's not a lie. But they didn't say anything to you about it because you got your money back. So you're still on top. I don't see what the big deal is."
"They didn't say anything because they were too busy talking about that fake innocent girl next door," she retorted. Girl next door? Me? I always thought that the girls next door had a perfect tan and sandy blond hair. Not pasty white with ginger hair. "I guess her planned backfired. And the big deal Logan, is that I told her my secret, I trusted her with it, and she broke it."
"She didn't do it."
"So you believe her? After pushing you away for that dork Riley, you still believe her?"
"Yes, and you should too." I felt as if I was floating. "Just think about it, Sienna. She knew that secret way before it got out. Why didn't she spread it as soon as she knew? And I doubt she even had time to tell anyone because she was busy with her dates and then that party at Paradeisos."
"She had plenty of time there!" Sienna exclaimed.
"Sienna, Nate tried to rape her," Logan muttered. I felt heat rise up my neck. Was that why he didn't want to be with me? Because I was...what, dirty?
"He what?" Sienna cried, her icy tone changing all of a sudden. She caught herself and cleared her throat. "I warned her. She didn't listen, it's not my problem."
The door was flung open, revealing a sneering Sienna.
"Well, well, well, a liar, a gossiper and an eavesdropper you're really a triple threat," she said, icily. "Digging around for some more gossip?"
"No, Sienna, please listen," I pleaded, the shock of what was happening caught up to me and I felt even more miserable. "I didn't do it. I swear."
"Once a liar, always a liar," she snapped.
"Even though I was angry at you for insulting me when I was just trying to help, I could never do that, Sienna!" I said, "Because you're right, I, of all people, should know how it feels like to be poor. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even if it was to teach you listen. I would and could never do that."
"Spare me."
"And that night when Nate told me how you lied about him nearly raping you, I believed him, because he said you hated me. And that night, I swear, I never even thought of getting back at you."
Sienna's deadpanned face didn't waver as she said, "It's too late now."
Then she walked away, leaving me more miserable than ever. Until I turned back and saw that Logan was still behind me. I jumped in surprise. I thought he'd left already.
"Hi," I said, tentatively.
"Hey." Just a simple word. A one-syllable word at that. But the fact that he said that, and didn't walk away, made me feel like there was still hope.
"So...I got the part in the play, but I was thinking of handing it to Savannah because it seems like she likes Riley more than I do, now..." I blabbed, hoping he would take the hint.
"Congratulations," he replied, robotic-ally. Maybe all hope was lost. But then I remembered what he said to Sienna.
"You said you trusted me," I mumbled, looking down.
"I do."
"Then why are you acting like you're mad at me."
He lifted my chin up and made me look at him. This Logan was so far from the Logan I knew. I used to be able to tell whatever he was feeling just by looking at his face. But now I couldn't tell.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm trying to avoid you."
"Why?" I cried, feeling angry. "Because you're afraid of your image being tarnished? That's not fa--"
Logan cut me off, not with words, but with a single kiss, that meant a heck of a lot more than words. Now, this was what a kiss supposed to be. When ewe broke apart, his face was much more readable. He was happy.
"I'm not afraid of my image being tarnished, silly," he answered, "I wanted to keep my distance from you so you could be with Riley. Seeing you with him still hurts too much."
"I don't like him! I told him that yesterday. And I was gonna tell you yesterday but you avoided me. Which hurt a lot and now I'm wet. What am I saying?" I blabbed, feeling like I was getting stupider with each word. I was suddenly aware of how wet and ill-groomed I looked. "What I'm saying is...I...I...well...Ilikeyou."
Logan's lips twitched, a gesture with meant that he was on the bring of laughter, but chose to suppress it. "I didn't quite catch that."
"I...I...I like you, okay!" I looked over his shoulder, frightened that he would laugh at me again.
"Bex, it's so much better than that," he whispered, before leaning down to kiss me again.
"What's going on here?" a gruff authoritative voice said from behind us. Though I was hoping against all hope that it wasn't a teacher...it was.
I practically jumped half a meter away from Logan. "I-I-I...I mean we..."
"We weren't doing anything worth reporting," Logan said, in a professional voice he probably reserved for teachers. "Unless you make it out to be."
"Of course, Mr Van der Bilt," the cherubic teacher with a wispy mustache said. "Off you go to your class, then."
"Thank you, Sir," Logan said, taking me by my elbow and steering me away.
"What was that about?" I asked, "Did you hypnotize him or something? Ooh, are you like a vampire?"
"Are you like serious?" he mimicked. "No, I'm not a vampire. I choose not to glitter in the sun."
"Then, what was that?"
He looked me in the eyes and smiled his signature mischievous smile. "Did I forget to tell you? My family owns this school."

When break came, I was only too eager to walk out. I realized that I didn't know much about Logan and decided to ask him loads of questions during break.
As I was busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that he wasn't the headmaster's son but the hereditary owner of Westchester, I didn't realize that someone was calling my name until he tapped my shoulder.
I turned around and saw the person I still had nightmares about; Nate. My breath caught in my throat. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I wanted to run but it was like my feet had anchored itself to the floor.
"Rebecca," Nate said. For what it's worth, he looked terrible. "I wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry. And you have every right not to forgive me. But...oh god...Becca, I'm so sorry. I regret that night. I--I--was so drunk. And that's no excuse..."
"You weren't gonna hurt me," I answered, wondering why I was comforting him. Maybe it was because he looked so pitiful that made it seem like he wasn't capable of hurting me. "You were pulling away."
"I hope you're right," he sighed. I became increasingly aware of the girls and their lingering gazes on Nate, and their vicious glares and scowls at me. "But I wanted to make amends. There's something you should know. Rebecca--"
"What the hell are you doing here?" Logan exploded. He strutted towards us, looking so furious I took a step back.
"He wanted to tell me something," I explained, afraid that a fight might break out.
"Save it, buddy," Logan snapped, placing his hand possessively on the small of my back. I wanted to laugh at his obvious jealousy. Seriously? "Bex, come on."
"Okay," I answered. "Sorry," I mouthed to Nate. When we reached the cafeteria, I smacked his hand away. "So you're the jealous type, huh."
"I'm not, usually. But that guy irritates me," he said, sitting down with me at my usual table.
Suddenly, the PA system sounded, but rather than the principal making an announcement, a nasally voice could be heard.
"Ladies and gents of Westchester High," he began, "I have big news for you. The person who spread the lies about Sienna du Ville is not Rebecca Scott." The cafeteria waited with bated breath, anticipating the name of the person who did. Logan squeezed my hand and I found that I was too shocked to do anything. "It is in fact, D." Everyone wracked their brains, trying to figure out who D could be. I looked at Logan but his face remained expressionless.
"She found 'N', a name that will remain anonymous, and forced him to tell her secrets concerning Sienna du Ville." Everyone whispered amongst themselves, trying to figure out who N could be. "Diana Richardson claimed that she would then help N get Rebecca Scott in return for those secrets, which she then spread and framed it all on Rebecca Scott. That person is Diana Richardson." With a few rhythmical beats, the announcement ended, leaving me more confused than ever. Diana was my bestfriend, she couldn't have done that. The whole cafeteria was silent and was craning their neck to the door. I followed their gaze to Diana and her face...said it all.
The silence was broken when someone threw their mashed potato at her.
I looked back to see that Bryce had done it. Then Monty...then Aaron. And then the whole cafeteria. I just stared in shock as Diana shielded her face with her arm.
"Stop," I mumbled. "Stop!" I said, more forcefully. The cafeteria halted.
"How can you defend her?" Monty said. "She backstabbed you. She let other people hate you for what she did!"
There was a chorus of 'yeah's from the whole cafeteria. And I found that I didn't know why I was defending her. And I had no reason to. "She's still my friend," I said, glancing at Diana, "She was my friend."
I watched as Diana ran out of the cafeteria. I stood up and followed her.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked, as I reached the bathroom. Diana was cleaning her potato mash-filled hair all to no avail. She ignored me. I could feel my blood start to boil. "WHY'D YOU DO IT!"
Diana flinched. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she only looked at me through my reflection. "Do you know what it feels like, Rebecca? Trying so hard for everyone to like you, for the guy of your dreams to like you, and all they do, all he does, is go for you? And you don't even try!"
"So you made my life a living hell just so you could live in paradise?" I snapped. "Newsflash Diana: making people hate someone doesn't make them like you even more."
"But it took you out of the equation!" she cried. "Is it sucha bad thing? You said you didn't like Logan's friends anyway. And it wasn't like you were craving for attention. I just gave you what you wanted."
"But you weren't," I said, "You were giving yourself what you wanted."
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE! YOU GET THE LIFE I WANTED AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE AN EFFORT. YOU DON'T KNOW!"
I clenched my fist, struggling to control my temper. "You wanna know why, Dye? It's because I was myself. You never were. You could never let people like the real you. And the reason why you're the loneliest person on the planet? Because you managed to alienate the only person that truly cared, that truly knew you."
I walked out of the cafeteria, tears streaking my face from anger and I realized, sadness from my betrayal.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 29; Real-lies-ation.

2010-09-25T16:50:00.004+08:00

I pushed the double doors to the auditorium open and a pool of light streamed through the dark room. A few heads turned, and upon seeing me, rolled their eyes and burst into whispers. Well, okay. I took a seat at an empty row, seeing as how the girls thought I was a contagious disease and all.
I saw Riley on stage and my heart skipped its usual beat. But I felt like it was gradually getting weaker. His face betrayed no emotion as he ran lines with girl after girl, smiling only after the audition.
I was disappointed and nervous to find that Savannah had gotten callbacks as well. And she delivered her lines perfectly(albeit a little over dramatic), which, of course, was no surprise, since she and Riley had great chemistry. I felt my stress level increase so that by the time my name was called out my hands had perspired and dried for 30 times.
"Hey," Riley mouthed, when the judges weren't looking.
I smiled nervously back at him, hoping that the judges couldn't see how bad my hands were shaking and in turn, how bad the script was shaking.
"Whenever you're read," the thing, balding man said into the mike. I took a deep breath and tried to control my nervous hand.
"Relax," Riley mouthed again, smiling. He was smiling. At me. I was pleased to find that it didn't disappear even after I did my line. But then why was he giving the other girls his poker face? My heart beat faster as I thought of the possibility that he might actually like me.
"Please wait outside while we deliberate," Mrs Biedermeyer said.
We filed out of the lecture theater and waited anxiously at the corridors. I felt even more lonely as the girls all around me gushed about their friends' audition and their fears about not making it.
"I hope she doesn't make it," I heard one of the girls say. I felt my neck prickle and realized that they were talking about me. I concentrated on the gray tiles, trying to tune their venomous words out. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.
"Well tough luck, because she was great," someone said. I looked up to see who my savior was and my breath got stuck in my throat. Savannah was smiling at me.
The girl who dissed me snorted. "You call her earthquake hands great? I was surprised she didn't piss herself!"
The other girls laughed at her immature joke, and I felt my body shrink. Why were they so mean? It was hard to believe that a day ago they were the same people who kissed my ass 24/7. People changed so quickly when it came to popularity.
"Of course Riley was absolutely smitten with her, wasn't he?" the tall, dongkey-faced girl droned on. "What guy wouldn't be with sucha little slut? Tell me--"
"That's enough," Savannah cut in, in her authoritative voice. Even though she looked furious, I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes and I knew that the comment by that stupid girl hurt her.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you have a one-sided crush on Riley," the girl continued on, feigning sympathy. "How does it feel knowing he's in love with this little whore?"
"I bet you'd know the feeling," I retorted, feeling anger well up inside me at her silver-bladed tongue. "In fact, I bet you'd be so familiar with it considering all the guys you like probably overlooked you anyway."
Well it wasn't like I was going to win her affection any time soon. And it's not like I was looking for a bitchy girl to be friends with, anyway so no harm done. Besides, she was the one who dissed Savannah first and Savannah was only trying to be nice. Which, I realized, she really was.
"Not my boyfriend, that's for sure," she retaliated, with a smirk.
"My sympathies to him then," I said, coolly.
Dongkey-face opened her mouth to retaliate but she shut it back again, having dried up her bitchy juice. The other girls exchanged fearful glances at me. Probably because all this time they only thought of me as the nice girl who never stuck up for herself and who let three girls pushed her into the pool.
Well, not this time. And not ever.
Did that classify me as a bitch? Had I changed so much that the idea of being mean to people wasn't as unappealing as I thought it was? I guess, in a way, I was changing. But I knew that no matter what, I was still me. And sticking up for people who stuck up for me was an exception to the rule.
Mrs Biedermeyer called us in and we trudged inside. I felt my legs getting heavier with each step as we made our way to the illuminated stage. I felt strangely comfortable though, like the lights were my security blanket. Funny how not long ago I was so ill at ease whenever I stepped on stage.
"You all performed superbly," Mrs Biedermeyer began, I felt my palms sweat again, "Sadly, there can only be one performer. So let's not dilly-dally and cut to the chase. The person who'll replace Sierra Lorenzo for the part of Kayla Landon is...Rebecca. Her understudy is Savannah."
Did she just say Rebecca Scott? Was that my name? OF COURSE IT'S YOUR NAME, SILLY. But...no...I couldn't have.
"Congratulations!" Savannah said, patting me on the shoulder.
"I got the part?" I said, dazedly.
"You got the part," she said.
I was overcome with the sudden urge to laugh, jump up and down and cry at the same time. But I decided that a small smile of victory was the best response.
"Thank you for your audition. Please don't be despaired, there's always next year," Mrs Bidermeyer said as we walked off the stage. "And Rebecca, practice starts tomorrow right after your afternoon class."
I nodded, scared that if I opened my mouth to speak, I might scream with giddiness. No need to show Mrs Biedermeyer just how unprofessional I was. And Riley just how excited you are, Logan's voice added. Logan! I should tell him right after this. He was the one who made me rekindle my passion for piano and made me realize just how much I loved acting. But...he kissed me. I hoped he wasn't mad. I don't want to give a reason for Nat to hate me. I'm sure he got over it already.
"Rebecca!" Riley said, as I walked out of the auditorium. "Congratulations!"
"I got the part!" I screamed, excitedly. All my suppressed excitement just exploded when I opened my mouth. Suddenly I was jumping up and down with delight and before I knew it, I was hugging him. And he hugged me back.
But it felt all wrong.
I let my arm fall to my sides, but his hands were still on my waist.
"Sorry," I said.
"I'm not." And he leaned down and kissed me. And again, I should be happy. This was what I wanted. This was what Logan and I were trying to achieve. I closed my eyes, trying to seize the moment but I couldn't. His kiss felt plain, dull...passionless.
He pulled away and smiled. "I was saving that for our date but I couldn't wait. And also...I think I'm in love with you."
Nothing. I felt nothing. I was hoping my heart was going to quicken, but it didn't. I was waiting for my brain to stop functioning but here I am, wondering why it didn't.
"Riley, this isn't me," I said, "I'm not the girl you think you know. I love tying my hair up and hate letting it fall so freely. And even though I've adjusted to my contact lenses, I still prefer glasses. I miss my braces. I get giddy every time I see you and I don't know how to act cool and aloof naturally. I thought you should know the real me, because it isn't fair to you if you didn't."
I thought he was going to give me an awkward goodbye and make a lame excuse of why he had to leave and I would just accept it because I deserved it, but his smile never faltered and instead, he said, "I know."
"You know?"
"I've liked you since you were a freshman," he confessed, "And I was thinking of going slow. Wait till you were in your sophomore year to ask you out. Get adjusted, meet a few guys, you know, since you were new. Then you dated Logan this year and I felt my chances slipping away as I saw you became more and more in love with him. And then you guys broke up and I thought, it may not be too late after all."
I stared at Riley. At his simple black glasses that mirrored his personality. At his easy going smile that I imagined would smile back at me, someday. At his auburn hair that I used to fantasize about running my hand through. And that was just it; I used to.
"I'm too late, aren't I?" Riley said, with a rueful smile.
"Next time you're in love with someone, tell them," I advised, feeling like I was experiencing an outer body experience. "They're not gonna wait forever."
I gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and hoped he would actually think of Savannah at my words.

It was 3 o'clock and class just ended. I ran up and down the corridors, trying to find Nat. What did she have for the last period? Biology!
I slipped and slid between the sea of people who were eager to return to their dorms. Panting in exhaustion, I scanned the laboratory area, trying to find Nat. She emerged three doors from where I stood, examining a sheet of paper. Mustering all the finesse I had, I slipped inside the throng, keeping my eye on her flaming red hair.
"Nat!" I panted, "Nat, I have to tell you something."
"Wha-what? Did you just run a marathon?" she asked, looking worriedly back at me.
"I'm fine!" I said, out of breath. "Tell him! Tell Logan you love him!"
Nat stared blankly back at me, her eyebrows knitting, so much so that it looked like uni-brow. She actually looked kind of comical. And I would've laughed except for the fact that I RAN A MILE TRYING TO GET TO HER.
"Logan?" she said, "Are you okay, Becky?" She placed her hand on my forehead.
"I'm not sick!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "I know you like him! And I think you should tell him!"
"REBECCA I DON'T LOVE HIM!" she yelled. Girl had a huge voice. People all around us turned to look at the megaphone-like magnified voice.
"Wait, what?" I said, feeling confused.
"I'm in love with Trent! T-R-E-N-T."
"But...but I thought you were using him to make me jealous!"
"Why would I do that?"
"I don't know! Because when you saw Logan that time, you blushed and ran away! That's a sure sign that a girl likes that guy!" I should know, anyway.
"Or that that girl is scared of what that guy might know about that guy's bestfriend!"
"Well--what?" I said, "Sorry, could you just use his name. I'm kinda really tired to think, right now."
"Oh right yeah, sure," she said, her tone changing abruptly. "What were you doing anyway?"
"I was auditioning! Oh I got the part in the play!"
"Oh my god, congrats!"
"Thanks!" I said, momentarily forgetting what we were talking about. "But that's not the point!"
"Right!" Nat said, "Well, okay, let me explain. Remember when you were sick and you took a day off?"
"Yeah."
"Well that's when Trent and I first met. I was walking past the soccer field and I dropped my things so Trent helped me out and then we ended up talking for some reason. And Logan was there, you see. So I was scared he might tell you that I had a crush on Trent."
"Why were you scared, though?"
"Because you said you hated them!" she said, "Remember? When they played that prank on you? So I thought you might hate me for liking him."
I felt so stupid. Of course she liked Trent. That's why she was with him at Chace's party; because she genuinely liked him, not because she was trying to make Logan jealous.
"Oh my god, I'm such an idiot," I whispered.
"You'd be a bigger one if you didn't go to him right now and tell him you loved him, too," she advised. "Trent told me Logan's heartbroken. But don't tell him that."
I swallowed what felt like a tennis ball in my throat. "He said that?"
Nat nodded. "Now go."
My brain told me to be rational, text him and apologize and above all else, keep a cool head. But I found, as my legs started running towards the soccer field, that even though the brain controlled the human body; the heart, however, controlled the brain.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 28; Gossips.

2010-09-23T17:24:00.008+08:00

It was still dark outside by the time I woke up.
I was tempted to just close my eyes and drift back to a peaceful abyss where last night didn't happen, where I didn't go into hysterics in front of Logan, where he didn't carry me to my dorm at 1 in the morning.
I was surprised that the house mistress hadn't stopped us. Whatever Logan said must've worked. But I was too tired then, to ask him what he had said.
I sighed and got out of bed after only 6 hours of sleep. I knew that if I got back to my unfinished slumber, I would wake up five hours later, content but late for school.
Cold wind ruffled my hair as I stepped out of the dorm. I shivered slightly at the breeze.
"Are you alright?" a voice came behind me.
"Fine, Logan," I answered, slowing my pace so he could catch up. He looked like he had a similar night like me. "It's just cold."
"I'm not talking about the weather," he answered, running a hand over his messy hair.
I shivered again. Not because of the weather but because of how traumatizing last night was. "He was pulling away from me when you came," I answered, realizing it only now. "Last night, when I was panicking I didn't realize that his grip on me slackened. He was letting go."
"I know," Logan answered, rubbing his eyes, tiredly.
"But you punched him," I said, looking quizzically back at him.
"Because he kissed you. Because he was going to hurt you. Because he was thinking of it. Because whenever I think of what would've happen if I arrived a second later--"
"Nothing would've happened," I answered.
"But it could've!" he cried. His blue eyes were tinged with red and he looked more tired than I had ever seen. "It could have. And it kills me when I think about it."
"Why?" I asked, feeling puzzled at his sudden intensity. I mean, Nat got angry too, but not to this extent. It was like he was possessed.
"Because I'm in love with you!" he exclaimed.
My brain stopped working altogether like it usually did whenever I was nervous or in this case, caught by surprise. Logan loved me. No, he was in love with me. What was the difference? Wait, did I want this? Is he waiting for an answer?
"Bex," he said, taking a step towards me.
Half of my brain, which was starting to work, told me to run and never look back. But the other half, which was still switched off, refused to let my legs move. So I just stood there as he leaned in...and kissed me. Logan was kissing me. He was kissing me. HE WAS KISSING ME.
I placed both of my hands on his chest and shoved him, hard. Nat's face flashed in my mind and I felt bubbling guilt in the pit of my stomach. Then, Riley's face came into view, smacking me back to reality.
"What are you doing?" I cried. "I'm-I'm in love with Riley. You know that." And Nat is in love with you and she would never forgive me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I turned on my heels and ran away before he could get a word in.
I'm in love with Riley. That was the truth, right?
So why does it feel like my pants are on fire?

I stayed in the toilet stalls for what felt like an hour, but was only half of that.
I was about to walk out, because I couldn't stand another minute of staying in a bathroom just to avoid a guy, when I heard two girls gossiping. Now usually, I would just walk out whenever someone gossips, but this time it was different. This time it was about someone I knew.
"...you hear about Sienna?" one of the girls said.
"Ohmigod, like, that her father is poor now?" the other (and probably stupider by the sounds of it) said. Did I hear correctly? Did they say Sienna? But...how'd they know?
"Did you hear who spread that secret?" the girl with the deeper voice, asked, in a hushed voice.
"No, who?"
I didn't get to hear who exactly revealed Sienna's secret, because the girls chose that moment to whisper. But if the annoying one's voice was any indication, it was pretty bad.
"Her? Ohmigod! What a total bitch!" she said. Who could it be? Nicole? Tia? We were the only ones who knew after all. But I knew it couldn't have been either of them.
"Mmmhmm, she's a slut, too, from what I hear," the other girl replied. "Oh crap! I
m gonna be late for English!"
"Me too!"
Their shoes click-clacked on the toilet floors before it dimmed and disappeared through the doors.
I got out of the stalls, straightened my blouse and got out. Was it me or were people shooting me glances and whispering behind my back? I felt knots in my stomach start to form. I knew I wasn't being paranoid, because the last time this happened, they were whispering how jealous they were that Logan and I were dating. But this time, it felt like they were angry rather than envious.
"Well if it isn't the little bitch from Ipswitch," Sienna said from behind. I turned around, surprised at her insults.
"Excuse me?" I said, feeling like this day was getting weirder and weirder. "Wait, Sienna, I have something to tell you."
"Like how you spread those vicious stuff about my family?" She snapped, shooting me venomous scowls.
"What lies?" I said, feeling confused. "Look, I heard some things--"
"You probably did! Bet you spread those 'things' around too!"
Sienna wasn't raising her voice, but we attracted attention nonetheless. Already there were a few clusters of people lingering around, pretending to tie their shoes or gathering their stuff.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. I felt exhausted, with her endless riddles and rhymes that I wasn't ever going to decipher.
She jabbed a bony finger in my direction. "I'm talking about how you told the whole school my family's poor!"
I was so shocked, my brain went dead again. I couldn't believe that she arrived at this conclusion. "Why would I do something like that?"
"For fame, envy or I don't know...because you hate me?" she snapped.
"I would never do something like that!" I cried, feeling upset because everyone believed I had done this.
"Not anymore, I suppose," she said, an evil smile on her flawless face. "Because my father's deal was a success and I'm rich again. And you know what that means? I can destroy you. And don't think for a second, that I won't."
She shoved me with her shoulder before she walked past me.
I don't know how long I just stood there, shocked into paralysis, but Nicole came over after Sienna left.
"Nicole," I said, feeling hope surge through my body. "Nicole, the school--"
"How could you do that?" she said, crossing her arms.
"I--"
"I thought you were nice! I thought you actually cared about her! But it turns out it was just to boost up your popularity." She shook her head disapprovingly before walking past me, like I didn't exist anymore.
I don't know what hurt more: the fact that Sienna had called me a bitch or the fact that Nicole would believe I would do something like this.
Ignoring the whispers and hushed discussions conducted behind my back, I went to my locker and extracted the books I would be needing for today.
"...hear she dated 5 guys..."
"...heard 10!"
"...sucha suck up..."
"...never liked her."
I took a deep breath, cooled my pounding head and went to class.

By the time the bell rang for lunch, I was more than glad to get out of English class. 1) Because the English teacher was boring me to death and 2) because I couldn't take the girls gossiping behind my back anymore. At each class, all they could talk about was how I had backstabbed Sienna. I sometimes I wonder if they had anything remotely interesting to talk about had this little rumor hadn't started.
I was expecting to be shunned again, or received eye rolls but I was greeted with a friendly face, instead; Monty's.
"Rebecca!" he said, adjusting his bag strap. "Congrats!"
"Thank you," I said, "For what?"
"For making the call backs!"
"I made it?" I said, feeling giddy and exuberant. "I made it!"
"Yeah!" Then we just jumped in glee in the hallways, like two kids who were told they could watch cartoon all day.
"Look at her," a girl fake whispered to her friend, "She doesn't even feel bad about spreading those lies about Sienna."
My euphoria burst just like that and I was forced to remember that in this world, I was ostracized and avoided. And now I guess Monty was going to do the same, too. But, surprisingly...he didn't.
"Would you shut up, you mindless little bimbo?" he snapped. "Rebecca would never do something like that."
The girl was so startled, her face froze before she tried to act nonchalant and walk away.
"Thanks, Monty," I said. "You really think I didn't do it?"
"Me," he said, "And the rest of the school's soccer team."
I felt a sense of gratitude well up inside me. "Thanks."
"Hey, no problem," he said, "Oh right! You should go to the auditorium now!"
"Oh right!" I said, remembering my callbacks. "Right! Thanks again, Monty!"
"We're all rooting for you! Don't let us down!"

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 27; Wonder-wall.

2010-09-22T16:07:00.007+08:00

Half an hour later, I got out of one of the five taxis to a huge, intimidating building, painted in a pristine white. Grand steps paved the way to the magnificent building, floor lights at each side of the stairs. Pillars were flanked at each side of the building, making the building look like it was imported from ancient Greece. There was a mahogany sign up on the building with the word 'Paradeisos' engraved in white on it.
Chace got out of the taxi and followed my curious gaze at the sign, which I was trying hard to figure out.
"It means Paradise," he explained, "In Greek. 'Cause my mom's Greek."
Well that would explain the building's structure. It looked old and primeval next to the modern saloons and shopping complexes. But it also towered over them, as if it was demanding attention, though it looked antique.
"I didn't know your mom's Greek," I said, as we made our way up the stairs.
"Ypárchoun pollá pou den xérete gia ména," he answered, grinning.
"What does that mean?" I asked, genuinely interested. I had a soft spot for Greeks. I practically memorized their history and their Gods.
"It means, 'You don't know a lot about me'," came a soft voice behind us. Everyone's head turned around, to see whom the voice belonged to.
Nicole was standing at the lowest floor, clad in a soft blue tracksuit, her light blond hair piled into a neat ponytail. She was clutching a matching blue oversize bag. She smiled serenely back at me and Chace, whose expression seemed to have softened at her appearance.
"Hey, Nicole," Chace greeted, smiling sincerely back at her.
"No greetings for me?" As if on cue, Sienna got out of the back seat of sleek black BMW. Even though she was wearing an understated black trench coat that ended below her knees, she somehow manage to make it look like she was wearing a fancy dress. Tia got out too, wearing a similar tracksuit to Nicole's, only hers were green, to match her eyes.
"Hey, Sienna," Chace greeted. "Glad you could come."
Sienna fixed her blue eyes at me and smiled, icily. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Even though the exterior looked sadly outdated, the interior was anything but.
The chandelier above cast a warm glow over the marbled floors and titles. There were paintings of ships and fruits and all those types of abstract art adorning the cozy mahogany walls. Couches and small coffee tables sat in clusters all over the empty lobby.
"Uh...no one's here," I said, staring at the empty receptionist's table. I glanced at the huge clock hanging at the opposite side of the wall, above the entrance to the atrium. It was 8.40.
"I'd be surprised if it wasn't," Chace said, "I closed the polo club down for this little...shall we say, private party." He led us to mahogany-made double doors. Winking slyly at us, he pushed the door open, to reveal an indoor swimming pool.
The room was decorated with ivy green and white chaise lounges. The swimming pool's lights illuminated the otherwise dark room with a soft glow. There was a bar sitting at the side, which I just know would be used all through the night. The floor-to-ceiling windows looked over the golf course, and further down, the beach. I felt really uncomfortable at the possibility of someone being able to see me half naked.
As I was busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that Chace owned this whole building, people all around me were busy stripping down to their boxers. I concentrated hard on the swimming pool, trying hard not to splash the cool water on my warm face.
"Well...uh...I didn't bring my swim suit so...um...I'll just stay here," I stammered, still looking at the swimming pool.
"We didn't bring ours either," Logan whispered in my ear, before he jumped into the pool, splashing me with chlorinated water in the process. The rest of the guys jumped in, canon-balling and diving, all of them half-naked.
"Coming?" Aaron asked, grinning.
"I'll pass," I answered, struggling to stare at him, to avoid seeing his exposed abdomen.
He shrugged before joining the rest of the guys.
Well at least I still had Nicole, Tia and Nat...and Sienna, I guess. But I realized, as I turned, that they had come prepared. Nicole, Tia and Sienna shed their tracksuits and trenchcoat, revealing their gorgeous one-piece. Nicole's was the same shade as her tracksuit; soft blue with bits of diamonds encrusted on it. Tia's was a beautiful shade of ivy green, which exposed her flawless side and Sienna's was fiery red, with bits strategically cut to make it more revealing than if she was to wear a two-piece. They walked past me and went in.
I sat on one of the chaise lounge, next to Nat.
"Not gonna join us, Scott?" Trent asked, sitting down at the edge of swimming pool. His dark curls were matted against his forehead.
"I'm good," I answered. I guess you could call me self-conscious. I mean, half naked with a swimming pool full of guys?
"How 'bout you?" Trent asked, looking at Nat. She shook her head.
"I didn't bring extra clothes," she answered but I knew she was here to accompany me.
Trent glanced at Chace, who nodded, as if they were silently communicating. Chace, then, looked at Logan, like he was passing the message around. Logan nodded, before getting out of the water. He and Trent walked over to Nat and I. I felt an uneasy sensation settling at the pit of my stomach.
"What're you guys doing?" I asked, as they got nearer.
Logan grinned, exchanging glances with Trent. They both nodded and picked Nat and I in their arms. I didn't have time to worry about my damp cardigan, because just then, Logan threw me in the water and my whole body was encompassed in water.
I resurfaced, after struggling underwater, next to Monty and Bryce, who were laughing. Nat was in front of me, though she looked more graceful when she came up. Chace high-fived Logan and Trent, before clicking something on a little remote and an upbeat song burst into full-blast.
"Who's ready to party?"

Though my clothes were still damp, it had fortunately dried enough so that my wet white shirt wasn't see through any more.
The party had somehow migrated to the golf course where the guys were pointlessly shooting golf balls and goofing around. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the fact that they didn't even bother to put their shirts back on.
"When are the girls coming?" a guy asked.
Apparently someone had deemed the party incomplete due to the lack of girls, so a bunch of them were invited to the party, to 'liven things up' as Bryce put it.
"Carrey just tweeted," Nicole announced, looking up from her sidekick. "She said she's nearly here. And...did someone invite Nate?"
Chace raised his hand, which was currently occupied with a flute of champagne. "I did. To show good sportsmanship."
"He just wants to beat him in golf," Logan said, swinging his golf club. The white ball disappeared into the woods. "Will you let it go, man?"
But the rest of the argument was cut short by the arrival of the group of girls, who were immaculately dressed from head to toe. They were followed by the boys from the Eagles.
"Chace," Nate said.
"Nate."
"Golf?"
"You're on."
I shook my head in disbelief at how in sync their brains actually were.
"Enjoying yourself?" Logan asked, gulping down a bottle of...whatever it was he was drinking.
"Before you threw me in the water," I said, icily.
He shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "So, how many dates have you had so far?"
"4," I answered, proudly, as I remembered that I had one more than him due to his soccer game.
"Oh, me too," he answered nonchalantly.
"Wha-how?" I asked, feeling disappointed. "You were playing tonight!"
"Doesn't mean my date wasn't in the stands, watching," he answered.
"Like Aaron?" I asked.
He snorted. "Who do you think taught him that?"
I sighed dejectedly. Just then there was a cry of outrage behind us and we saw Chace scowling.
"I better console him," Logan sighed, shaking his head tiredly. "He never learns."
I sat down tiredly on the grass, feeling like I had been here for the whole day. I caught Sienna's eye and I felt like she wanted to say something, but she just turned her attention back to her Nicole and Tia. As opposed to giving me her signature icy glare, that was an improvement. I was just contemplating if I should leave or not when a shadow fell on me.
"Can I talk to you?" Nate asked. "I still haven't told you my side of the story."
"I don't think that's wise," I answered, "Fraternizing with the enemy, Chace would kill me."
"Pretty sure he's too busy plotting my death to notice," he answered, grinning.
I patted the grass next to me. "Take a seat."
He settled down next to me, his expression turning serious, all of a sudden.
"I don't know what Sienna told you," he began, "But I didn't try to rape her." He glanced at Sienna, who was busy showing the guys how to play golf to notice. "You know about her family's financial problem?"
I nodded. "You do too?"
"Who do you think made her that way?"
"What-you?" I asked, shocked.
"My father," he answered, "He embezzled money from her father."
"What?" I gasped, feeling like I was watching Gossip Girl all over again.
"Her father did the same," he answered, "Just returning the favor."
"But her father's gonna be bankrupt!" I said, feeling bad for Sienna though she was a total bitch to me.
"If they score this upcoming deal, they won't be," he answered. "And I don't think you, of all people, should feel sympathetic for her."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know those three girls who pushed you in the fountain?" He said. "Sienna put them up to it."
"Why?" I asked.
"She hates your guts," he said. No surprise there.
"Because...?" I asked, wracking my brains for any reason for Sienna to hate.
Nate looked seriously back at me. "Apparently you snapped at her the first time you met."
"Oh. That's it?" She wanted to get back at me for lashing out on her? They were the ones who pulled that prank on me, first.
"She also said that you were middle-class," he answered.
"Well, Sienna will be Sienna, I guess," I mused, feeling tired instead of angry. Honestly, I had no energy left to get mad at her.
Nate got up and held his hand out for me. "You can get back at Sienna."
Why does practically everything about love involve making someone jealous? I sighed and took his hand. I'm pretty sure I'm ready to leave the party that was getting even wilder, while I was getting even more exhausted.
"I think I'll just go," I answered, brushing off grass from my jeans.
Nate squeezed my hand, and I realized that he hadn't let go of me. "Stay. It's obvious Sienna doesn't want you to be with me. So why not shove it in her face that you are?"
I shrugged, feeling a little bit angry at the fact that she lied to me, not because of the other two reasons Nate provided. He grinned at my half-agreement.
"Nate!" A guy called. I quickly snatched my hand away, feeling unfathomably embarrassed. "Oh am I interrupting?"
"Pretty much," Nate said, inspecting me curiously, his dark eyebrows furrowing. "What's up?"
"Logan challenged you to do shots?" He asked. "Pretty sure his friend, Chace, put him up to it. That guy never gives up, does he? Anyway, you in?"
"You should go," I cut in. "I'll wait."
Nate smiled and went with his friend.

Half an hour later, I heard Chace yell a victorious roar and knew that Logan had won. But Nate didn't come out of the inner swimming pool place which, I realized, had tinted windows.
I leaned in on the swimming pool's chaise lounge, which had somehow been transported outside.
"Hey, Becca," Nicole greeted, smiling down at me. I straightened up.
"Hey," I said.
She sat on the chair next to mine. "Sienna told me about your fight. She's really sorry."
"That's funny, I didn't hear an apology," I answered.
"You have to know that to Sienna, apologizing is like admitting you're wrong," Nicole explained. "She also told me that you encouraged her to tell Tia and I. Thanks for that. We were so worried about her. She's been on edge lately."
"No problem."
"But you see, it was a big problem," she said. "Sienna can be a bitch whenever people give her advice. So, thanks. You have to know that Sienna's really sorry."
I was about to ask her if she was really sorry about all those things Nate said she'd done but I was cut off by Nate himself, looking really wasted and a ghostly smile on his handsome face.
"Becca, we need to talk," he slurred. "In private."
"See you," I told Nicole, who was shooting Nate disapproving glances.
Nate took my wrist, a little roughly than before and dragged me to the inner swimming pool area. I felt sick in my stomach but I pushed it away. Nate would never do anything to hurt me.
Once we got inside, he pushed me against the cool windows, trapped me there with both his hands and kissed me. I was so shocked, I became paralyzed. But when he snaked his hand under my shirt, it was enough to end my paralysis. I shoved him, hard.
"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped, walking towards the door.
"Don't be a tease," he drawled. He gripped my wrists and tried to kiss me again.

"Nate stop!" I cried, hot tears squeezing from my eyes. "Stop!" But I knew that no one was going hear me. No one was going to see. Sienna was right all along. He's a bad drunk. Even more so when he's angry while he's drunk. Stop, please stop. I tried to shove him, but his grip on my wrist was iron-hard. Stop. I tried to kick him but my legs wouldn't work. Stop. I tried to scream but he kept muffling me with his kisses, that tasted bitter, that tasted like alcohol, like anger. Stop.
"You son of a bitch!" Logan spat, pulling Nate away from me. His strength and Nate's instability made it really easy for Logan to beat him to a pulp. I stared as he continuously punched Nate.
"Logan, stop," I said. "Logan! Please."
He stopped punching in mid air, got up from Nate who was unconscious and bleeding and went over to me.
"Don't cry," he said. I didn't even realize that I was still crying until he pointed it out. But even as I became aware of it, I couldn't stop. Not even when Logan pulled me into his arms. Not even when I soaked his dry shirt. Not even when he promised he would be with me wherever I go from now on.
Not until I closed my eyes and closed my mind.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 26; Break even.

2010-09-18T12:03:00.008+08:00

After that disastrous date with Monty that had somehow turned to a double date with Logan and his date(who, by the way, had a brain the size of a pea) I just sat in the library, replaying the moment when I fell in the pond and groaning from my ill-fortune.
Looking around, I saw that I was the only one present in the library as a result of not following the rest of the student-body, who were celebrating their two-day freedom from school. Sighing, I got up from the white plastic chair and was about to head out of the library when a voice stopped me.
"...do you mean 'bankrupt', daddy?" the voice, which sounded strangely familiar, hissed. The voice paused, probably listening to the answer of the person in the other line. "Our house? Our house? Those little desperate assholes are not getting our house!" It took me a while to realize that the voice was getting louder which meant...that the person was heading straight for me!
I looked left and right for a place to hide but I knew my unfortunate fate, so I just stood there.
"Dad, " Sienna walked out from one of the shelves, saw me and, for a nano second, lost her cool before regaining back her composure and said, "I'll call you back." She closed her cellphone with a flip and slipped it into her red clutch. Then she gave me a murderous glare and said, "What did you hear?"
"I--I um...nothing!" I lied, hearing how high my voice was. "Not-not a thing."
Sienna took another step towards me and looked me in straight in the eyes. Was she a basilisk? Because I'm pretty sure I just turned to stone. "What did you hear?"
"Something about your dad being bankrupt," I confessed. "And someone taking your house."
Sienna's face remained expressionless as she walked past me and sat on one of the chairs. "Sit."
Well, if she was going to kill me, she would've done it by now, so I took the seat in front of her. Now that I saw her up close, she looked really tired. And scared, like a little girl who was lost in a huge shopping complex.
"My father's company is on the brink of a bankruptcy," Sienna finally said, "And right now, my family's...not doing so well."
"Have you told anybody?"
Sienna laughed darkly. "In this day and age when money is power? I would be insane to do that. And I'll make sure you are too if you utter a single word about it to anyone."
"I won't," I assured, feeling sympathetic instead of fearful for the girl in front of me.
"You better not," she threatened.
"Did you at least tell Nicole and Tia?"
"Rebecca, you of all people should know that being poor isn't something to brag about," Sienna snapped.
Well, that stung. I could feel my face going warm whenever I was embarrassed, but right now, I felt something else other than shame; I felt anger.
"It's not your place to judge other people, Sienna," I retorted, feeling fury beyond my control coursing through me, "Especially people who were just trying to help. You don't get to judge the way I live and the way I was raised just because of my social status and because of my family's status in the society." I stood up, the adrenalin rush forming my words for me. I could barely believe that I was even saying these things. "You don't get to act all superior just because you were raised with all the pleasures in life handed to you on a silver platter. Because you, of all people, should know exactly how that feels."
I walked away from Sienna, who looked like she'd been hit by a train, and got out of the library. It was only when I was outside that I shook from the overwhelming emotion that just overtook me.

Even though I tried to avoid it, fate still messed with my head and as a result, my last date for the day, ended up going to watch my date play soccer against dare I believe it, Nate's team, The Eagles.
Thankfully though, I had one date more than Logan for the day, so that was the bright side. And also, Nat decided to watch Trent play, too. But I had a sneaking suspicion, she was there to watch Logan play.
"So that guy you were with, what's his name?" Nat asked, munching on her pop corn. She looked really pretty tonight. Not that she wasn't always but these days it seemed like her happiness was showing on her face. She was wearing a white understated cotton blouse and tight jeans.
"Aaron," I answered, looking at the empty field in front of me where a lot aof bright lights were currently directed towards.
"Do you like him?" Nat asked.
"Nat, I barely said two words to him, I'm not sure if I do," I answered, truthfully. "And how about you and Trent? Don't you think--" I was just about to ask if playing Trent was really such a good idea when my cell phone vibrated, cutting me off. "Hold on." I opened the message and saw that it was from an unknown number.

Hey, Becca. It's Aaron. I left my bag there. Could you please come down to the boy's locker room? I can't miss this practice session with the coach. Sorry! And thanks.

"Be right back," I said to Nat, who nodded. Grabbing Aaron's black Adidas sling bag I walked down to the stadium. Thankfully, the boy's locker room wasn't so hard to find, since the voices of the guys made it blatantly clear where they were.
I headed inside the first locker room I saw and immediately hated myself for not asking for directions, because even though I found the guys' locker room, unfortunately, it wasn't the specific locker room I was looking for.
"Oh, um, hi!" I said, feeling stupider by the second as I saw the dozen or so guys who were exposing their upper halves. "The Eagles! Big fan!" I blabbed, feeling warmth creep up my neck. I held up two thumbs. Somebody stop me! "Oh um...good luck!"
I ran outside, smacking my forehead continuously. "Stupid...Stupid..."
"Rebecca!" a voice cried and I automatically walked faster as I recognized who the voice belonged to. But he proved to be faster, because he grabbed my forearm in a death grip.
"Oh...hey, Nate. Didn't see you there," I lied.
"Really? Because I only called your name for oh, I don't know, ten times," he said, smiling.
"Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe I purposely became deaf?"
"I'm hurt." He smirked, taking a step towards me and, as if I was a repelling magnet, I took a step backwards because I remembered what Sienna said about him. And I felt my hair stood up. "Are you okay?"
"I-I have pepper spray," I blurted. Which was probably stupid since I really didn't.
"That's...great?" he said, trying to take another step towards me but I took two steps backward. "Why are you acting like this? Did Sienna say something?" His dark brown eyes squinted, as if trying to make me reveal my thoughts.
"Yes!" I cried, feeling scared. "She told me that she broke up with you because you were about to rape her."
"She said what?" he exploded. His handsome face turning into rage. Oh god, maybe that was a stupid mistake. Now he was going to kill Sienna and I because we know. "That girl really is a piece of work, isn't she?"
He looked distracted by his fury so I chanced a run for it but he grabbed me by my wrist.
"I'm not gonna rape you!" he said when I was nearly crying from fear. "I'm not gonna rape you," he repeated, more softly. "Sienna lied."
I stopped struggling and looked straight at him. "What?"
"The reason we broke up--"
"Rebecca! There you are," Aaron said. Five minutes ago I would've welcomed the intrusion, now I just felt annoyed because I'm not going to know the real reason why Sienna and Nate broke up.
Nate let go of my wrist and said, "I'll find you later."
Then he walked back to his locker.
"What were you doing with that guy?" Aaron asked, dressed in a white jersey with black shorts.
"We just...ran into each other," I answered. I handed him the bag.
"Thanks," he said. "You're a lifesaver!"
Funny how I thought my life needed saving just moments ago.

After all the stories I heard about Nate's team and their undefeated success against Chace's team, I thought that their victory was in the bag, but in the end, it ended with a tie.
"Nate's not the only one that can have a world-renowned ex-football as his coach," I heard Chace say as Nat and I went to the guys' locker room to congratulate them.
Nat took a peep inside and gave me two thumbs up. A sign that meant that the coast was clear, or in other words, they boys were fully-clothed. We knocked twice and headed inside.
I always imagined locker rooms to be small and dingy with mini lockers and dim fluorescent lights.
But the locker room in front of me looked nothing like it. The lockers, which covered all the walls, were wide and made of oak. The floor was covered with cream carpet. It looked like a dressing room than a locker room.
Trent's face softened as he saw Nat. I really felt bad for him. It looked like he really loved her and, sadly, I knew she didn't feel the same. I glanced at Logan to see his reaction to Nat and Trent's kiss, but he was looking at me.
He seemed really different, too. And I thought he was going to turn away, but he just kept looking at me, like he was trying to figure me out.
"Rebecca, there you are!" Aaron's voice broke the spell and I was forced to turn away from him.
"Hey!" I greeted, smiling so as to mask my irritation with his intrusion.
"So...the team's heading out to The Vanderbilt's Polo Club," he said, "You know, to celebrate. So I thought we could have our date there."
A date with a dozen other people, including, I realized, Logan.
"That's okay," I said, "I'm actually getting kinda sleepy."
"Rebecca!" A deep voice boomed, I craned my neck to see over Aaron's shoulders and saw Bryce walking over to me.
Great. "Hey, Bryce."
"You're with Aaron now?" he asked, a playful smile on his lips that made him look like The Cheshire Cat. Only less cute. "You have a thing for athletes, don't you?"
"Mmm," I mumbled, unenthusiastically.
"Leave her alone, Bryce," another voice said. Monty appeared at Aaron's side, giving me a kinder smile. When three tall guys stand in front of a short girl, they block out the lights entirely. "Hey, Becca, what's up?"
"Nothing much," I answered.
"Whoa ho ho, what's going on here?" Chace asked, pushing Bryce and Monty aside and inspecting the cause for the gathering crowd. "Oh hey Becca! Enjoy the game?"
"It was alright," I answered, feeling more and more awkward. Was it my imagination or were all the guys scrutinizing me? And sine when did it get so hot in here?
"Well we're having a a post game party, if you wanna come," Chace asked, glancing slightly in Logan's direction.
I shook my head, a little bit too vehemently. "Oh no, no no no. Its so late."
"It's 8."
"Already?" I feigned surprise. "Wow, time sure flies!"
"Come on, Becky, please come," Nat coaxed, Trent's arm around her shoulder. "Please?"
Then, all of a sudden, the whole locker room burst into full-fledged persuasion. It was like a switch was triggered.
"Join us..."
"...have fun..."
"...golf and swimming..."
"...had fun last time.."
"Okay!" I interjected, feeling slightly amused at their unity in sweet-talking me to go. "I'll go."
The guys all patted my shoulder before exiting out of the locker room, satisfied smiles on their faces. Chace draped his arm around me in a friendly way, before steering me out of the locker room.
"This is gonna be so much fun," he said.
I looked behind me and saw Logan's blue eyes staring back at me. I hated the fluttery sensation in my stomach, so I turned quickly away.
Something tells me that this wasn't going to be as fun as Chace said it would be.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 25; Heels over head.

2010-09-16T07:22:00.005+08:00

Dull.
That was the only word that could describe my breakfast-date with Bryce. It could also describe himself. That, and self-absorbed. If he wasn't complimenting how I looked, he was complimenting the way he did, even though he had a reason to since he looked so handsome. I guess he inherited his model mother's looks. Too bad he didn't inherit his corporate lawyer father's brains.
The inner-Logan voice in my head resurfaced and right now it was telling me to laugh. I forced a tiny giggle at what he said, hoping it was a joke. Bryce smiled back in relief.
I took a lazy glance at my watch, feigned surprise at the time(though I didn't really know the time) and said, "Well, that was nice but oh what do you know, I'm gonna be late!"
My face grew warm. A trait that I recently discovered was likely to happen whenever I lied. Thankfully, Bryce didn't know this and so, didn't know I wasn't telling the truth.
"That's too bad," he said, as we got up. "I wanted to get to know you better." Then you should've actually talked. "Oh I know! Why don't you come to the soccer match tonight?"
"Sure!" I lied, knowing there was no way in hell that I was going to show up somewhere Logan could be. And besides, if Logan was otherwise engaged in something, that meant that I had more free time than him to get those phone numbers.
The phone numbers!
"Oh! Could I get your number?" I asked bluntly, shoving the school's white napkin in his hands. Are you insane? Could you be a little subtle? Logan's voice hissed angrily.
Shh!
To my surprise, Bryce didn't flinch at my shameless act of asking for his digits. He actually whipped out a fountain pen out of his dress shirt pocket.
"Bold, I like it," he said, writing down his number on the pristine white napkin. I managed an unenthusiastic grunt. "Well, call me."
"Okay," I lied. Why on Earth did he want to meet me again? That was probably the most boring date in the history of boring dates.
I walked out of the school's cafeteria to the cool day. My next date was at the park with a guy called Jake, James? Oh my god, what was his name?
I paced back and forth in front of the cafeteria, wracking my brains for all the names of the guys that asked me out. Gabriel? Julius? No, it was something with an M. Max?
I stopped pacing with a great dread looming over me as I saw my date walking towards me. He was bulky like Bryce. But he had a certain boyish charm about him that Bryce didn't when he smiled. And he had twinkling blue eyes and golden blonde curls. He's what I imagined cupid to look like, minus his huge muscles. And I imagine we could have a good time together. BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME.
I didn't need the inner-Logan in me to know that now knowing your date's name was really bad.
"You look troubled," Logan said, waving his date goodbye.
"Not now, Logan!" I cried, frustrated.
"What's up?" he asked.
I pointed at my date who was busy tying his sports shoes. "What's his name!"
"Oh, I know him, he plays lacrosse with me," Logan answered, simply.
"His name!" I cried, as the guy straightened up ominously. "Logan!"
"It's John. John Doe."
"That's not funny Logan! Please."
"Fine, it's Chuck," he confessed, right at the moment that Chuck arrived.
Thankfully he didn't hear anything because he just shook hands with Logan, smiling uneasily.
"Hey, Chuck," I said, proud of myself.
But I knew something was wrong just as I said the words. Because Chuck's head turned quickly to me and Logan clapped a hand over his mouth, his shoulders rocking.
"Chuck?" Chuck said. Or probably...not Chuck. I imagined killing Logan right then and there but my embarrassment was greater than the urge to kill. "My name's Monty."
Monty! Right. I scowled at Logan, who was clutching his stomach from his silent laughter.
"Right!" I said, slapping my forehead. My face grew warm and I hoped to God that my humiliation didn't show on my face. "I meant Monty."
Monty smiled uncomfortably. "Um...it's okay. Let's just go."
"Where are you two lovebirds going?" Logan asked.
"There's a park not too far from here," Monty answered, stonily.
"Have fun."
I gave Logan a murderous glare right before I went in Monty's car.

There was that awkwardness in the air again. But this time, it was far worse than the one with Dave because I had forgotten his name. Monty was continually ripping off bits of bread and throwing it to the pond, feeding the ravenous ducks, his mind elsewhere.
So far, the only sentence that was exchanged between us was, "Do you want some bread?"
And that was really too bad because the place was perfect to just talk all day. Browning leaves adorned the tall trees as well as the ground, so that whenever we walked there was that crunching noise. There were four wooden benches to the north, south, east and west of the pond, where three ducks were currently feeding off bread crumbs.
There was also a playground not too far from here where kids could play.
"Monty," I said, tentatively. Monty looked up from his bread. "Um...nothing." He resumed his attention on his task at hand.
Then, because I couldn't bear the silence anymore, I stood up and faced him. Taking a deep breath I said, "I'm sorry I forgot your name and I'm sorry for calling you 'Chuck'."
Monty looked up, his eyebrows knitting. "I'm not mad at you for calling me 'Chuck' or that you forgot my name. I get it. You have a lot of dates." He shrugged.
"Then why are avoiding me like the plaque?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"Because you were talking with your ex," he confessed, surprisingly. "Who's also my team mate, by the way. And I felt guilty because it looks like you guys aren't over."
I laughed at his ridiculous answer. "Oh we are over, trust me." Not that there was anything to get over with in the first place.
"What's over?" Logan's voice asked. I turned behind me and saw him walking towards us, his date, a petite blond, struggling to keep up behind him. He smiled at me.
Shocked, I took a step backward and felt my heel come in contact with a hard object. I felt my body fall and I tried to defy gravity as I tried to regain my balance but it was too late; I fell into the pond, the ducks quacking disapprovingly at me before they dispersed. The pond was too shallow for me to drown, but right at the moment, I wish I did. At least my face would be hidden.
Logan's date laughed but Monty shut her up with a glare. He walked over to me, took off his jacket and put it on my shoulder.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, distractedly.
Because I could've sworn, right before Monty walked over to me, that Logan...was about too, as well.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 24; Game on.

2010-09-16T07:02:00.001+08:00

It was nearing ten pm, but instead of feeling sleepy like I should, my eyes were wide open.
Of course, that could be due to the fact that I drank 4 cups of coffee that afternoon. A reckless action caused by the awkwardness of my date with Dave. I kept on sipping my coffee just to have something better to do. Fortunately, the conversation got better. But the first few minutes when we first talked, one of us would either respond with a forced laugh, a 'yeah' or worst of all, an 'oh'. But just when I thought of making a lame excuse to spare both of our lives, Dave started talking about our Biology teacher and his crazy antics and just like that, we connected. And I found, as time passed, that he wasn't as quiet as he seemed to be in class.
And at the end of the date, instead of falling in love like we were supposed to, we ended up becoming really good friends. Which was proven by the fact that he didn't try to kiss me at the end of the date nor did he schedule a second date one.
So, that was the reason why I was currently insomniac. Which was probably a good thing, since I needed to be awake to actually watch Matt's independent movie.
I was surprised to find that it wasn't an intimate 'date' however, since there were two teachers in attendance as well as about 50 other people. But even though there were lots of people sitting on grass, watching the movie from a projector, there was that certain romantic vibe in the air. Probably because most of the people here were couples who shared blankets and had their girlfriends' head on their shoulders. So, again, there was that awkwardness as I sat, rigid, next to Matt. But thankfully, since the movie required most our attention, our conversation was brief and thus, there was no forced laugh or conversation.
However, similar to Dave, Matt was really nice to me, asking me where I wanted to sit(not that there was a lot of option since my butt was ultimately going to touch the earth anyway) and handing me his navy jacket when I shivered. It didn't hurt that he was a kick-ass director, either. The movie reduced me to tears halfway through the movie.
"Are you okay?" Matt asked, his face a mixture of concern and amusement as the movie ended and I was sobbing with the rest of the girls present in the small clearing.
"I'm f-f-fine," I stammered, shamelessly blowing my nose loudly. Hey, it wasn't like I was the only one.
"I take it you liked the movie, then?" We were walking back to our dormitory, after being shunted by the teachers who were muttering about our curfew and consequences. A few of the people who watched the movie gave Matt words of congratulatory as we walked past.
"Well, of course I did," I wiped my wet eyes, glad that I decided not to wear make-up. "Apart from being the most touching movie known to man, I liked how you used a lot of metaphors. Like the flickering lights suggesting his indecision. And the wilting flower as their quickly disappearing love. And--oh I'm rambling again," I said, catching myself and stopping immediately. "Sorry, I tend to over-analyze movies. And books. And, well, everything, basically."
Matt laughed. "Not at all. That was exactly what I was aiming for, actually. So, you're a literature student?" he asked.
I nodded. "What gave it away? My use of metaphors or the word 'suggests'?"
Matt laughed harder and I laughed along with him, because it felt right and it felt...I don't know, easy I guess. It felt nice just being able to be me, instead of following Logan's voice in my head that commanded me to do this and that. Although I kind of miss it, for some reason.
Just as an image of Logan appeared in my mind, his figure appeared in real life, almost as if I conjured him up. He was at the school's soccer field, his friends already packing their bags, shooting the girls he was arguing with irritated looks.
"Let's go this way," I suggested, not wanting to pass by Logan.
But before I could turn away, Logan cried, "There she is!"
Despite every part of my body urging me to turn on my heels and walk away...I didn't. Logan walked out of the bright field to an uncomfortable Matt and I.
"I'll uh...see you later," Matt decided, still looking uncomfortable. I handed him the jacket.
"See you," I said, though I knew we weren't going to be seeing each other for a while.
He walked away just as Logan arrived, followed by the group of girls and his team mates.
"Rebecca and I have recently gone back together," he lied, draping his arm around me as proof. I tried to shrug it off, but he just gripped harder. "We're starting fresh, which is why I haven't returned any of your calls."
Feeling stupid, I tried to protest. "We're not--"
"Telling a lot of people," Logan interjected, "So keep it a secret, okay?"
I finally caught him off-guard and shrugged his arm off, scowling at him for this huge lie which he somehow got me involved in. "He's lying!"
"She doesn't want anyone to know," Logan covered up, giving me a warning look which I returned with a withering look of my own.
The girls gasped and quickly whispered amongst themselves, probably glad to be one of the first ones to be in on the secret. They scurried off after vowing not to tell anyone, which of course they would.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Logan said to the rest of the team. They walked off, shooting us looks of bewilderment and, if I saw correctly, jealousy.
Chace and Trent, probably knowing how out of character this was, stayed behind.
"Is this true?" Chace asked, looking from me to Logan like we were having a tennis match.
"No!" I said quickly, before Logan could lie again. "It's a lie! He's lying!"
"It's true, I am," he said.
"Don't listen to him! He's--wait, what?"
"I'm lying," he repeated, to my confused ears. "I did it to get those girls off my back. Who knew senior girls couldn't take a hint, ey? I mean, they know how I am."
"If you want to lie to those poor girls, then do so, but don't drag me into this, Logan," I snapped, feeling upset that he used me and feeling bad for the girls. I stalked off before he could defend himself like he always does. A few moments later, I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't have to turn to know it was Logan. Still feeling angry, I ignored his presence altogether.
"I'm sorry," he said, much to my surprise. I stopped in my tracks because of his change of tactic. I mean, usually he would just spew excuses after excuses and explain how he was right and how I was wrong. He walked in front of me and forced me to look at him. "There. I lose."
"Lose what?"
"This little game we're playing."
"What game?"
"The one who apologizes-first-loses-game."
"There was and is no such game, Logan," I said and continued walking. Logan walked beside me.
"I apologized!" he said, sounding exhausted now, "What else do I have to do? I'm sorry, it was my fault. It all is. Can we just return to how we were before?"
"Why? Because you need someone to get those girls 'off your back'?" I snapped.
To my surprise, Logan didn't answer right away. But in the end he said, what I expected anyway. "Yeah. They're driving me crazy. Please?"
"Let me think. Um...no."
I walked faster but he quickly grabbed hold of my wrist and I stopped, not only because of the physical restriction, but because I felt my heart race. I don't know if Logan felt it too, but he let go of my hand. If his face was any indication, though, he didn't feel anything.
"Come on," he coaxed, "You owe me. From what I hear, you're dating half of my lacrosse team."
"I'm not dating half of your lacrosse team," I argued, trying to remember the faces that asked me out.
"Whatever. They're douchebags, by the way," he commented. "I would steer clear of them. Anyway, you have to admit that you're getting these dates because of me."
"Yeah, and if I become your girlfriend again, I won't be getting those, will I?" I said.
"Then we'll be in an open relationship," he suggested.
"Uh--no."
"Fine, let's make a bet," Logan said, "The first one to get the most dates wins. If I win, we're together."
I remembered my gambling history with Logan and his way with women and hastily answered, "No way."
I shook my head at his ridiculousness as I walked away. Behind me, Logan made one last attempt as he said, "I'll give you my journal."
I turned around to face him. "You have a diary?" Despite wanting to seem pissed, I burst out laughing.
"A journal!" He corrected, sulking.
"Sure, diary-boy," I teased and he smiled slightly. I felt a pang in my chest as I remembered all those times we had together. "Sadly, my prize is really nothing compared to yours." I shrugged. "Sorry."
"You can read it to the whole school," Logan said, grimacing.
"Deal!" I agreed, before he could change his mind. The prospect of pouring Logan's deepest darkest secret to the whole school was too enticing to give up.
Logan held out his hands reluctantly and I took it, feeling my heart race again. We pulled away at the same time, shoving our hands in our pockets to protect it from the electricity we just felt.
"How do I know you're not gonna change the things you wrote in your journal?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"Hold on," he said, as we arrived at the center of the dorms. He ran towards his house, leaving me alone, in the dead of night, where no one could hear me scream...
Just when I was about to run into my house, Logan got out of his, carrying a leather-bound book, with a silver lock preventing it from being open by unwanted people.
"Here," he said, holding out his journal. I took it. "If you win--which you won't--I'll give you the key and you can open it."
"Alright. But how do I know you aren't gonna lie about the number of dates you have?" I asked, shooting him a suspicious look.
"You mean how you're gonna lie about the number of dates you have?" he rephrased, smirking at his not-so-funny joke, "We'll ask our date to write down their phone numbers."
"How do I know you're not gonna ask just any girl for their phone numbers?"
"I guess you're just gonna have to trust me," he said.
"Difficult."
"I trust you," he confessed. And I felt like I just drank 50 cups of the school's coffee.
I shrugged nonchalantly. "Then, what choice do I have." Before I walked inside my dorm, I turned back to him and said, "You're so gonna lose."
Logan smirked. "Game on."

Pretenses.

2010-09-15T19:44:00.004+08:00

I'm tired of pretending,
acting like everything's fine.
I'm tired of lying,
every single time.

I'm tired of holding back my tears,
in front of my friends.
I'm tired of smiling,
again and again.

I'm tired of faking a laugh,
when all I want to do is cry.
I'm tired of acting happy,
because it's all just a lie.

I'm tired of lying, pretending, acting and faking,
because no one can see just how much I am aching.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 23; L-over.

2010-09-10T21:44:00.005+08:00

The sun was directly over our heads by the time we arrived at the dry soccer field.
My classmates and I were continuously wiping our wet necks and damp foreheads. I felt like I was going to drown in my perspiration. Sneaking a look at the soccer team, however, I saw that they seemed perfectly fine. I remembered how they looked during the friendly match against Nate's team, and understood instantly; they were used to this kind of weather. Looking at them, you'd think they were in a well air-conditioned stadium, only their glistening face betraying them.
There was sharp sound as Coach Sharke blew her silver whistle.
"You have 30 minutes to teach your partner everything you know. After that, you'll be playing a friendly match. Understood?" she demanded.
There was a unison of yeses and we disbanded from our uniform line, to find our own space and train.
Percy grinned gleefully. "I scored big, huh? Probably don't have to teach you anything, from what the boys said."
"I think you should at least pretend like you are," I advised, glancing warily at Coach Sharke, who was going round over each group. Her partner, a timid looking girl, followed wherever she went, holding Coach Sharke's clipboard.
"Oh right," Percy said, following my gaze and pretended to look serious. He swung his leg recklessly and said, "Tell me when she's coming."
I laughed at his ridiculous action and brilliant idea. "Got it."
"Seriously though, you're really good," he said, as he switched to his other leg and swung that one, too. "Or so I've heard. I couldn't come. But any girl that could--"
"She's coming!" I hissed, as Coach Sharke's intimidating figure approached us.
"So, this isn't how you should kick," Percy said, in what seemed like his responsible and serious voice. "Make sure you don't expose your heels."
Coach Sharke stopped beside us, examining us with full concentration, squinting at us as well as at the blinding sun.
I nodded at what I already knew.
"And always be aware of your surroundings," he continued, "So that when you get the ball, you'll know--so, where was I?" he asked, as soon as Coach Sharke was out of ear shot and scrutinizing Chace's group.
"Something about a match," I answered.
"Oh right. Yeah, I wasn't able to come during the friendly match against the Eagles. But any girl that contributed to the win is extremely skilled."
"Thank you," I said, liking this guy more and more. He was just easy to talk to. "The Eagles are Nate's team, right?"
Percy nodded, now pretending to dribble a non-existent ball. "Chace has had a grudge against him since the sixth grade. He couldn't win a match against Nate's team."
"That explains the smug look on his face," I said.
"Yeah, no one likes Nate actually," he mused, thoughtfully.
"Why's that?" Nate seemed friendly enough to me, though I guess that was just a ruse to get me alone with him and, from Sienna's disapproving description of him, God knows what. I shivered at how close I came to actually falling for his trick.
"I don't know really. Chace, because he's never won against Nate. Trent, because Chace forced him to," Percy answered, thinking, "Logan because he flirted with you."
At the mention of his name, my head immediately turned to him. He was coaching a gangling classmate of mine. And though I felt satisfied at his male partner, I felt a surprising sense of sadness overcome me.
"Sorry," Percy's voice cut through my thoughts and I forced myself to look away and return my attention back to him. "Forgot. Why'd you guys break up, anyway?"
I shrugged, examining him hopping on one foot and the next, and wondering what on earth he was actually doing. "He just...flirts too much, I guess."
Just then, the whistle was once again blown, cutting my little chat with Percy short. Everyone reassembled into a neat line in front of her.
"You'll be getting into two teams. Van der Bilt and Rolof, you be the two captains. You two trouble-makers need to be separated," she mumbled. "Choose wisely."
"You're going down Van der Bilt," Chace said, stepping forward and examining us.
"In your dreams, Rolof," Logan retorted, though his blue eyes were busy scanning the crowd. His eyes found mine and I forced myself to look away.
Coach Sharke produced a penny from her black shorts and placed it flat on the palm of her hand. "Head or tails?"
"I call heads," Logan said, lazily.
"I want heads!" Chace argued, crossing his arms defiantly.
"Fine, you get heads."
"What, you're just giving it to me?"
"You wanted it!"
"I bet you know it's going to be tails."
"How am I supposed to know that? It's up to fate!"
Coach Sharke blew her whistle again, halting Chace's and Logan's petty fight, all because Chace's competitive side decided to resurface.
"Rolof, you get heads," she snapped, shaking her head incredulously at their childish behaviour. Then she threw the coin up in the air and caught at the back of her hand, covering her other hand on it. She took a peek. "Tails."
"I knew it!" Chace exploded, looking demented. "Sick little game you're playing here, Van der Bilt."
"Fine. Go first then," Logan said. At the way at ease he seemed in response to Chace's tantrum, I guess it must've happened quite frequently. Trent didn't seem surprised either.
Chace grinned. "I choose Becky and her partner." I made my way in the sea of people to the front, avoiding Logan's intense gaze, as I took my position behind Chace with Percy right beside me.
"I choose Trent, then," Logan answered, giving Chace an innocent look.
Trent emerged from the crowd with his tiny female partner who looked quite nervous.
"Fine, be that way," Chace said, rolling his eyes like a little kid.
After about five minutes, we finally had our team. Despite having a few frail looking team members, I have to say, our chances look quite good. Though Coach Sharke was in Logan's team and the timid girl was in ours. Still, who knew what skills she possessed.
Thanks to Chace's competitive side that triggered his captaining skills, we didn't actually have much to do. He took care of who should be playing in the first half, (6 from the soccer team and 5 from my class) and who played in the second(5 from the soccer team and 6 from my class). I was playing both halves as the striker, which I thought was a bit unfair since we were all supposed to play at least once.
"Don't worry. I'll keep subbing them," Chace explained. He looked troubled. "It's insane. I have 20 people at my disposal. But don't worry, I won't sub you."
"Great," I grunted, thinking it wasn't great at all because glancing at the goal post, I saw that Logan had taken it upon himself to be the goalkeeper, which means that he and I were going to spend a lot of time together.
Great, indeed.

We had ten minutes left and our score was still tied 1-1.
Although the sun had taken pity on us and decided to hide behind some clouds, the damage was done; we were soaking wet and I didn't even want to think of how exposed my body was in my now semi-see-through white shirt.
But even though I had to practically keep wiping my forehead, and my legs were aching from the lack of rest, I didn't feel tired at all. All I could think about was the ball, and scoring a goal against Logan.
The ball soared to me and I quickly received it. My heart fell; five minutes had already past. Running as fast I could and avoiding everyone that tried to intercept the ball, I came face to face with Logan.
He seemed to be concentrating only on the ball, as well, as he didn't even seem to see me. The other striker, a short boy from my class was surrounded by two guys and someone was already pursuing me. And I had three minutes left.
"Hey Logan!" I cried, "How about getting back together?"
I don't know what prompted me to say it. It felt like the words just tumbled out of my mouth like an accidental, unintentional vomit without the sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach warning you of the bad thing that was about to come. And I don't know what I expected from that momentary insanity, but it sure wasn't seeing Logan's head snap up and staring straight at me.
And that was all it took. That was all it took for the ball to sail through the net and letting my team achieve victory.
Coach Sharke's piercing whistle sounded, ending the game, which was followed by an eruption of victorious cries from my team, especially, I noted, from Chace.
The next moment, I was carried around on everyone's shoulders, which, though I kept protesting, felt really good for my legs. I didn't turn back to look at Logan, because I was afraid of what I was going to find, and what I was going to feel.

I took a short shower in the school's public shower, just for the sake of cleaning away the sweat and mud away from my body. I have no idea how these other girls manage to feel so comfortable showering with other people.
Concentrating on tying my damp hair into a ponytail, I accidentally bumped into someone.
"Sorry," I muttered, looking up to address the victim. My breath caught in my throat as I saw Riley standing in front of me.
"It's alright," he said, adjusting his bag strap. He flashed me a grin and my heart melted. How on Earth did I fall in love with Logan when this guy was right in front of me, all this while? "Um...can we talk?" I followed his gaze over my shoulder to find a couple of people walking out of the gym, freshly dressed in clean attire.
I nodded and we walked side by side to the school's fountain, where I first met him. I smiled as I reminisced the way he took care of me....before Logan interrupted us.
"So...I heard about you and Logan," Riley said, glancing warily at me. Was it my imagination or did he look more nervous than sympathetic? "How're you feeling?"
I shrugged. Honestly speaking, my feelings were all muddled up. It felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. One minute I was feeling alright, then, all of a sudden, the ride decided to take a nerve-wrecking fall, and I was left upset and just plain disappointed."I'm fine," I said, smiling as if to prove my point.
"Well, um..." Riley's Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, uncomfortably, "...I hope you don't think this is insensitive but...would you like to go on a date with me?"
I felt like jumping up and screaming yes at the top of my lungs. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest from happiness. I was as happy as Chace when he won against Nate's team. Or probably happier.
Controlling every part of my body that wanted to shout words of agreement, I answered, "Sure."

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 22; Revelation.

2010-08-31T09:50:00.001+08:00

I woke up in the crack of dawn on Friday morning, due to the fact that my head was full of thoughts regarding the supposed break up. Still troubled and confused, I got out of bed and took out my navy uniform from the closet.
Behind me, Nat snored softly. That was another perplexing thing. Despite knowing that Logan and I weren't in a real relationship, she seemed utterly sympathetic when I announced the break up with Logan. And I thought she would've been a little happy that we weren't together anymore. Her chances with him have now skyrocketed right?
Outside, everything seemed normal. The sky was still dark due to the absence of the sun, and only a few energetic students were up this morning. The cafeteria, too, seemed only occupied by busy students who were cramming in last minute details to their tests, nursing a required coffee in their hands.
Yes, everything seemed perfectly normal.
Except it wasn't. Logan didn't occupy the empty space in front of my cafeteria table and otherwise obliterated the sense of loneliness I was currently feeling. And didn't realize I was feeling until...it was gone, I guess.
As I was sipping my coffee and wallowing in my inexplicable misery, three plastic looking girls(and I mean this in the nicest way possible. They seriously looked like synthetic Barbie dolls with similar blonde hair and dare I say it, similar eyebrows?) walked up to me, their rule-breaking heels click-clacking on the cafeteria floors.
"Hi," the middle one said, shooting me a sympathetic look, "I heard about you and Logan. I'm so sorry. Stay strong."
Seriously, those were her exact words: 'Stay strong'. Did I seem like I was weak just because I wasn't with Logan anymore? And how on earth did they find out about the break up? It's barely been 24 hours. And the only people I told were Nat, Jane and Diane. I knows news travels fast in this school of leeching, gossiping students, but I didn't know just how fast it did, until it happened to me.
"Oh, okay, thank you," I answered, hoping she wasn't insulted by the lack of response. But she didn't look too badly hurt. Maybe she thought I was too depressed to say anything.
The rest of my morning was a series of sympathetic glances and condolences. It was all I could do to smile and say thank you. Logan might not have taught me how to handle break ups, but I found that a smile of gratitude made everyone feel appreciated.
The cafeteria was buzzing with people and a ray of light spilled into it through the floor to ceiling windows by the time Logan and his friends walked in. I could literally hear the noise decrease to murmurs as the eyes in the cafeteria looked back and forth between Logan and I, waiting for the first acknowledgment from either one of us.
I could hear my heart throb in my ears and felt the sickening sensation in my stomach. How many times have I felt that? And yet, I still hadn't become accustomed to it. Then, feeling like I couldn't take my body's reaction to the glare of the cafeteria and Logan's presence, I stood up and walked out, feeling my feet gathering momentum. I didn't stop running until I reached my locker, where my heart returned to its regular beating.
I leaned my back against the cool locker and took mouthfuls of air. Wiping my damp forehead, I opened my locker and took out the books I would be needing for the day.
Just then, someone tapped my shoulder. And in one crazy second, regardless of reality and the magnitude of the current situation, I was expecting Logan. But the guy in front of me didn't have unkempt blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. He had dark floppy hair and eyes. He was short and his skin was the color of latte. I remembered him from my Biology class.
"Hey," I said, "Dave Hernandez right?"
He beamed at the recognition, but his hands still pushed his round glasses further up his nose, which was, I knew, a sign of his nervousness. "You remember."
"Well, yeah. You're a genius," I answered, truthfully. "A guy like you is hard to forget."
And I might not have believed it if I didn't see it with my very own eyes, but Dave actually blushed.
"Thanks," he said, pushing up his glasses again. "I was wondering...if you're free...if you'd um...coffee....me?"
"You wanna have coffee with me?" I guessed, piecing together his confusing sentence.
He nodded, looking warily back at me.
"Sure," I said, "How about this afternoon?"
He blinked a couple of times before realizing that I had just said yes and was waiting fro a response. "Okay. It's a date," he added, looking more confident.
I couldn't help but smile at his sudden boldness, and knew I had something to do with it. "I'll see you then."
I turned my attention back to my locker and was just about to pull out my maths textbook when I received another tap on my shoulder.
Again, my slow and ignorant mind couldn't help but jump to Logan, but yet again, I was left disappointed. I tried not to let that show in my face, though, as I looked at the lanky sandy haired guy in front of me. I didn't recoginize him at all. He looked like a surfer dude, with his beach blonde hair and ocean blue eyes, but there was something that didn't fit in his image. He looked...too deep to be a shallow jock. Like he wrote poems in the afternoons and wrote sonnets in the evenings.
If the huge camera dangling over his neck was an indication, I would've suspected he was the school's photographer.
"Hi," he greeted, "I'm Matt Daniels."
"Hey. Rebecca Scott," I introduced, trying to cram my thick textbook into my bag.
"I was wondering, when you know, you're free, if you'd like to watch my independent movie with me some time?"
"What's it about?" I asked. I had a feeling he was asking me out on a date, too. But that was ridiculous. He barely knew me.
"Love, basically," he answered. "I'd really like a girl's perspective before I show it to the everyone else."
"Well...I'd love to. How about tonight?" I asked, still wondering whether it was a date or not. And why he would ask someone he didn't know to review his movie?
But then Matt grinned, and confirmed my theory as he said, "It's a date then."
For some reason, I didn't feel anxious. I felt...good about myself. Matt seemed really nice and, for some unfathomable reason, he seemed to like me.
I smiled to myself as I walked towards my Chemistry class, realizing that I had a bounce in my step. And I didn't even bother to stop.
There was another tap on my shoulder, and this time, I didn't expect Logan at all.

After walking out of my maths class, I had a total number of 10 dates planned for this weekend and next week. I stifled a giggle at the insanity of it all. Just last week, I had to go to all that trouble to secure a date, but now I had more than 5! But speaking of that one date...where was Riley? Why could random strangers boldly ask me on a date, but he, who has known me for more than a year, couldn't even bother to talk to me today? And, ironically as well, he was the one I wanted to go on a date with.
Feeling my earlier exuberance burst, I walked glumly to the gymnasium.
"Well, hello there, Scott," Sienna said. I looked up and saw her standing in front of me, and for some reason, she looked..all wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it, but she looked lost. By the looks of it, she just got off on the phone with someone when I walked in on her.
"Are you alright?" I asked, feeling silly just asking.
Sienna blinked in confusion before scrutinizing me warily. "What did you hear?"
"What? Oh, nothing. It's just that...you look upset," I answered, and I saw Sienna's face relax significantly. "Did you fight with Nicole and Tia?" I asked, realizing only now that they were absent from her side.
"Oh, no. Of course not. I had to make a...personal call," Sienna answered, laughing at the absurdity. "Anyway, I'm not one to listen to 'gossips' but word has it that you've already secured twenty dates in a day."
"What? No!" It was my turn to laugh at the preposterousness. "It's only ten."
"Look at you saying 'Only ten'," Sienna said, shooting me a sly look. "The break up with Logan did you good, hm?"
I shrugged, feeling slightly pained at the comment. But I pushed the feeling away. "I was wondering why, though? Why did they ask me out all of a sudden?"
"Well, because you're single now," Sienna answered simply, looking at me like I should know these kinds of things.
"What, so they all liked me before?" I said, sarcastically. But from Sienna's response, or lack thereof, I wiped the incredulous grin off my face. "They all liked me before?"
Sienna simply nodded, and continued to look at me as if this was common knowledge.
"But, why?" I asked, feeling confused by the second.
Sienna sighed exasperatedly. "Really, Rebecca, sometimes you can be so dumb. Let's look at your pros. One--" she held up one slender finger, "--You're fairly pretty. I wouldn't say you're drop dead gorgeous, but you're okay-looking." I tried not to look too pleased at the small compliment. "And thought that doesn't merit ten dates in a day, coupled with the fact that two--" she held up another finger, "--You know how to play soccer and therefore can relate to most of the male specimen. And three--" she held up her ring finger which was clad in an old ruby ring, "--You're not exactly stupid, making you a perfect girl to have a conversation with. So, because of only these three significant factors, you've somehow become an ideal girlfriend for guys to have."
Truth be told, I didn't know how to respond. I was still stuck on the first factor, which I couldn't wrap my head around. All of the things Sienna just said about me, could they be true? But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? So maybe, yes, I was okay-looking. Thanks to Logan. And I'm an average student, I guess. But I always thought that my ability to play soccer always made me seem boyish. I shook my head, giving up on trying to comprehend as to what Sienna had just said.
She always had crazy ideas.

Despite having a dull morning, class-wise, I couldn't help but be excited for gym. Owing to the fact that we were going to play soccer for this lesson.
I was so happy, I didn't even let the plain white tee and too short shorts that ended above my knees make me feel uncomfortable. I felt the cool air conditioning touch my bare calves as I walked up from the girl's locker room to the gymnasium.
In front of me, a group of boys were huddled at the other half of the court, joking around and slapping each others backs as some sort of congratulatory sign.
I was about to ask the coach who they were when I saw Logan, laughing along with the rest of the boys. I felt my stomach churn again and I quickly concentrated on Coach Sharke. I'm not kidding, by the way, her name really is Coach Sharke. Though I always thought, Bull, would've been a better surname, since she bore so much resemblance to a Bull when she was angry. She was athletically build, and by that I mean she was big. She had beautiful curly hair but which she always managed to keep short and close to her neckline, which of course, did nothing for her big angular face.
"Afternoon, class," she greeted. "As you know, we'll be learning soccer today--" the boys whooped with delight while most of the girls grunted their response. "--and the school's soccer team is also having an inter-school match Sunday afternoon, so I devised a plan. A multi-tasking plan. Boys!"
The boys stopped joking around and immediately walked towards Coach Sharke, though their playful smiles were still plastered on their mischievous faces. The girls who were less enthusisastic before, were now straightening up. I was surprised they didn't drool.
"Hey, it's Rebecca!" One of the boys said, grinning madly. Some of the boys smiled and waved in recognition. I recognized them from the football match and smiled back. Logan, who was joking around earlier, merely looked like a statue with a serious expression carved on his face.
"Alright, so, you boys need your training. And these kids need to be taught how proper soccer should be played," Coach Sharke said, "So, you boys will teach these kids how to play, while at the same time, remembering what I taught you during training. And hopefully, your knowledge will stick.
"Here's how it's gonna work. Since there are twenty boys an twenty-one of you, the one who doesn't have partner, will automatically be mine." All around me, boys and girls tried to catch the attention of their coveted partners, none of them wanting to be paired up with Coach Sharke when they could be partners with hot soccer players.
Believe me when I say that I didn't intend for this to happen, but when I looked up, I caught Logan's eye and for a while, we just looked at each other.
"Well, go on, boys, choose your victim," Coach Sharke hurried. I looked away quickly.
I thought I saw Logan approach me, before someone blocked my line of vision. A shadow fell on me, and again, I was hoping it would be Logan. But it was a dark-haired guy with piercing green eyes. He looked less muscular compared to the rest of the team, but I saw two very visible ostrich-sized eggs when he flexed his arm.
"Partners?" he asked, holding out his hand.
"Um..." I stalled, looking wildly around for Logan. But either he had already found a partner or he was lost in the crowd, I couldn't see him.
That was when I mentally slapped myself. What is wrong with me? He's not my fake boyfriend anymore! Of course he isn't going to choose me, hes' going to choose another hot sophomore whom he'll probably date after this game. Stop believing in the impossible because Logan is human too, and he'll act like every other human being.
So, I took the guy's hand.

------

Sorry it took so long! I wrote an initial draft but I decided to do it all over again 'cause it looked all wrong.
Happy holidays! :)

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 21; Move.

2010-08-29T10:12:00.001+08:00

If I thought watching other people sing and play the piano skillfully was nerve-wrecking, it didn't prepare me for the professional manner in which they acted. They were so good, it made me believe that they were angry, or happy, or sad, depending on which line Mrs Biedermeyer decided on.
It felt like forever until my time came. And when it did, I felt the familiar anxiety attack and forgetfulness. I gripped the script like it was my shield.
"Page 8, line 4, please Miss Scott," Mrs Biedermeyer said. She pushed her half-moon glasses further up her nose, like she didn't want to miss any flaw I might produce. I felt my hands shake uncontrollably as I flipped the page.
Taking a deep breath that did little to ease my nerves, I began.
"You'll never understand, Carly. I see something in him," I read. When I first thought of acting, I thought it would be embarrassing being angry or upset in front of everybody. I mean, how were you supposed to feel angry, when you weren't? But then I remembered Logan's advise about immersing yourself in the character. And suddenly, I could relate to Kayla.
Suddenly, I was Kayla. A girl trying to love a troubled guy, when everybody else tried to force her to do otherwise.
"He makes me happy. And even though he might be mean at times, I know he cares. I know that when he apologizes, he means it."
"You're so foolish," Mrs Biedermeyer read, "Will you ever listen to what I have to say?"
This was it, I thought. This next line was the deciding factor. But how could I ever squeeze in any emotion in a one syllable word?
I tried to muster up my rebellious side whenever Logan forced me to do something I didn't want to do and, hoping this was enough, I said, "No."
"Thank you, Miss Scott," Mrs Biedermeyer said. "Callbacks will be posted up on the bulletin board next Monday."
I felt the familiar sensation of anxiety grip me again. Four days of nerves and not knowing if I made it or not.
How was I ever going to survive?

By the time I got out of the auditorium, it was already half past 5.
Feeling exhausted, I headed straight towards my dorm, where I imagined just collapsing into my warm, fluffy bed. A shiver of pleasure surged through me.
"How'd it go?" Logan asked, falling in step with me. He was still dressed in his white lacrosse shirt and short black pants. I couldn't help sneaking a glance at his toned calves. They looked like rocks.
"Well I made it to the second stage," I answered, as he relieved me of my files and books out of habit.
Logan snorted. "Told you so."
I was about to make a lame comeback to shut him up, when his phone buzzed. Balancing my stuff on one arm, he whipped out his cellphone out of his pockets with his free hand.
I chanced a peek at his message and felt my blood start to simmer. The text message read: I enjoyed last night. When can we meet up next? ;-)
Logan seemed to realize that I had seen his message, because he turned to look at me. I didn't even try to hide my scowl or pretend I hadn't seen. Enough was enough. I mean, was he even thinking of how Nat might feel? Even as I thought that, a distinct part of me knew that wasn't the reason why I was mad.
"How many times has it been this week?" I asked, quietly.
He remained silent. Which made me angrier. I could feel my blood start to boil, now.
"What was she? The third girl you slept with?" I snapped. "How many has it been?"
"Why are you mad, though?" he retorted, "You know I meet other girls. You know. So why the hell are you mad?" I guess he didn't mean for it to sound so harsh because he said, "I'm sorr--"
"No," I interrupted. "You're right. You're absolutely right. Of course I knew. That was part of the deal, wasn't it? I don't care if you meet a dozen girls, Logan. But could you at least be discreet about it? Do you know what I hear in the bathroom? They say I'm pathetic. Pathetic for staying with you when you cheated as soon as I turned."
"Yeah, well they don't know that you do the same, do they?" he snapped. "They say I cheat on you, but they don't know that it's the other way around!"
"What the hell are you talking about? When have I ever slept with anyone?"
"You didn't sleep with anyone," he whispered, "You did something worse."
"What are you talking about?" I felt confused more than angry now, and all I wanted now was an explanation.
"You know what? This is pointless. Let's just break up. Riley seems to be falling for you. And there really isn't any point of being together when you're just gonna be with Riley anyway."
My heart dropped to my stomach, where it was currently churning uncomfortably. I somehow wanted to protest, but I couldn't find any good reason to do so.
"You're right," I agreed, though my heart, which was at the bottom of my stomach, screamed no. "There's no point."
"I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess so."
I took my files and walked away and didn't turn back. Even when every part of my body was now joining my heart in a chorus of protests. Even when a warm tear streaked my face. Even when my foolishness overtook my logic and I wanted to turn back and say I was just joking.
Even when I realized, though it was too late, that I had fallen for him.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 20; Higher.

2010-08-27T15:12:00.001+08:00

Lunch today had the convenient effect of making me forget about my audition this afternoon. I allowed myself to be cheerful for just this half hour as I listened to Diane's gossips, Jane's perfectly timed joke and Nat's often controlled ramblings.
"...and then he said, 'A-U, get outta the bar!'" Jane concluded, bursting into fits of laughter. The rest of us joined in, glad to be together once again. It really was nice, being together like this. It seemed like nothing had changed. Almost like...I had never taken Logan's offer.
"Speaking of gold, I saw Nate two days ago. Now he is pure gold," Diane commented, sipping her juice.
I couldn't help it, I felt irksome. Why did she always have to bring up other people into our conversation? Gossiping once in a while is kind of fun, but doing it all the time was just plain irritating. And it's not like I wanted to be reminded of the life I lead now. I forced the thought away though, and kept silent, distracting myself with my green salad.
"Remind me again why you rejected him, Becca?" she persisted.
I stopped shoving the salad in my mouth midway. How could I ever explain to her that I wasn't interested in Nate in that way? Why was that so hard to understand? That looks didn't matter. Especially when the guy who did have looks had a bad personality. Something clicked in my brain and I suddenly knew what to say.
I told them everything Sienna told me. I mean, why not? These were my best friends. And even though Diane could be a blabbermouth at times, she would never deliberately tell a secret especially when I made them all swear not to tell a soul(I felt like I shouldn't be telling anyone for some reason). And besides, I needed something to gag Diane with.
"Oh my god," Nat breathed, shocked, after I finished telling my tale. "That's why you said no to him right?" Nat shot me an understanding look, as if she was saying, 'I know you're trying to get Diane off your trail'.
"Gosh, Becca, you should stay far away from him," Jane consoled, looking worried.
I stifled a satisfied smile as Diane nodded in agreement. "Definitely."

The auditorium was cool and dark as I sat in one of the rows, watching with increasing worry as each of the spectacular candidates gave it their all on the piano, and then singing, after.
As people got up to perform, I was inevitably left alone in my row. Feeling lonesome, I decided to move to the front when someone tapped my shoulder.
The lights from the stage gave me just enough light to see that it was Riley. My heart leaped, as it always did when I saw him.
"Riley," I said, "Hi."
"Hey," he said, and even in the dim light I knew he was smiling. "Heard you were auditioning. I think it's great." He placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt a zap of electricity run up and down my arm. Perhaps he felt it too, because he hastily withdrew his hand and shoved it deep in his hair. "So, um...yeah...good luck."
At that moment, I was glad it was dark, I was pretty sure my face was as red as my hair.
"What are you doing standing here?" a voice hissed. There wasn't any need for lights for me to know who that voice belonged to.
I sat back down on the same row and Logan followed suit, resting his feet on the seat in front. A beautiful dark haired girl was up on stage now, playing with so much ferocity that the butterflies in my stomach multiplied.
"So explain this whole audition thing," Logan whispered, scrutinizing the stage.
"Well, there's three stages basically," I began, speaking as softly as I could, "First, you have to demonstrate your music skills. That means singing and playing the piano. Then, we're given a half hour break for the judges to discuss who to eliminate, and those who made the cut have to read specific lines to see if they can act adequately. After that, the judges deliberate again. Only this time, it's for three days and the ones that have been selected are called back again, and they have to run lines with Riley, to test the chemistry." My heart flipped as I imagined the prospect of acting out a romantic part with Riley. "Then, well, Riley decides. So I guess he has the final say."
No sooner were the words out of my mouth that my name was called.
Logan stood up, too and was busy spewing a torrent of advice that I forgot the moment it reached my ear.
"And remember," he said, "Just immerse yourself in something. That's the best form of distraction."

It was bizarre being on stage instead of at the back, where I spent most of my Theater time.
One of the judges, a thin man who was balding at the top of his head, gestured towards the baby grand. I took a deep breath and slid into the black leather seat.
You can do this. You practiced already. But it seemed as if I forgot everything as soon as my feet touched the wooden stage.
I took another deep breath and began playing what I had practiced for a mere two days. I was glad to find that my fingers still remembered even though my brain hadn't. It was as if they had taken over and I just had to let them do what they were obviously good at; producing a melancholy tune. It felt wonderful to be on the piano again. When I finished, I couldn't help but feel sad that it was over but I also felt confident about what I had just played. Even though playing your own piece was usually risky as opposed to playing the well known works of Bach, Mozart and Tchaikovsky.
I got to my feet, shakily. I tried to find Logan, to seek comfort and a familiar face in the sea of unfamiliar faces, but the blinding lights and the dark aisles proved impossible to see through.
This time it was Mrs Biedermeyer who spoke. "Miss Scott," she said, with an air of formality. I found it weird that she called me by my surname when I had been working with her in the Theater Club for a year now. "Whenever you're ready."
This was the tricky part. Other than my own perfectly comfortable bathroom, I had never sung at all in my life. Hoping I hadn't forgotten the lyrics, I began to sing Idina Menzel's I'm Not That Girl from Wicked.

Hands touch,
eyes meet.
Sudden silence,
sudden heat.
Hearts leap in a giddy world.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl.
Don't dream too far,
don't lose sight of,
who you are.
Don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
I'm not that girl.

"Thank you, Miss Scott," Mrs Biedermeyer cut off. I felt a growing sense of panic. That was probably the shortest audition this afternoon. Riley shot me an encouraging smile as I walked back down the stage, feeling dejected.
"That was great. You were really great," Logan complimented as I reached my seat. I didn't feel better, I knew he was just trying to comfort me from that obvious failure.
"Don't," I protested, feeling disappointed. "I know I did terrible. You know what the funny thing is? I wanted to get that part. I loved playing the piano, and a small part of me liked the singing too. But I guess, well, I just wasn't good enough."
Logan didn't say anything, and I was glad, I just needed to be left alone with my negative thoughts.
Then I saw something--or someone--that made my heart plummet. Savannah Teeger was up on stage, smiling brightly at Riley. Or was that my imagination? Looks like she wasn't as busy as Riley made her out to be.
I watched with rapt attention as she tickled the ivories and played one of Bach's music. I found myself wishing she would suck. But of course, no matter how much I hoped for her downfall, I wasn't going to get it. She even sang Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah angelically. And her audition was a little bit longer than mine.
So let's say that I somehow managed to get to the final stage, and Riley had to choose between Savannah and I. Obviously he would choose Savannah right? So what hope did I have? What was the point?
The lights were switched back on and I realized that it was time for the half hour break because the three judges were already in a heated discussion on who to cut. My stomach churned uncomfortably.
Logan got up and uncreased his lacrosse shorts. A few people stared at him on their way out of the auditorium. "I better get going before coach makes me run ten laps. Are you gonna be okay?"
"Yeah," I lied. I felt like my heart was trying to break out of my chest.
"You'll make it," he said.
"And if I don't?"
He shrugged. "If it's really something that you love, then keep on trying."
I nodded, feeling slightly better. I mean, it wasn't the end of the world. There will be other productions and other plays.
"Well, see you."
"Bye."
I leaned back on the black seat. With nothing to do, and no one to talk to, I felt awkward and lonely. A few people who stayed behind shot me furtive glances, probably wondering where Logan went to.
As I was mulling over the thought of running to my locker and getting a book, Riley stood up from the judges' table and scanned the rows of people. For one hopeful second, I thought he was going to come up and find me, but sadly, and predictably, my expectations burst. I watched as he climbed up the aisles and stopped by Savannah's row. I looked away, feeling like my jealousy was reaching an all time high.
But then Riley did something I didn't predict; He walked over to me.
I forced my heart to beat regularly as our eyes met and stayed. Maybe it was just me, but it took forever for him to get to my row. When he finally arrived, he gave me a smile, which I answered with my very own giddy one.
"Is this seat taken?" he asked.
"Nope," I answered, taking a surreptitious glance at Savannah. But all I saw was her blond head staring rigidly at the stage. Well, that was saying something.
I could smell Riley's cologne as he sat down next to me. It smelled a bit lighter than Logan's cologne.
Never start the conversation, Logan's voice advised in my head. Not like I knew what to say anyway.
"So...I didn't get a chance to talk to you at Chace's party," he said.
He just had to bring up that nightmarish night, didn't he? I could imagine the bitter taste of bile in my mouth and the throb at the back of my head and forced all the feelings from that night away, except for one, overwhelming sensation; jealousy. Jealous at the fact that he had kissed Savannah, that he danced with her, that he looked at her the way I wished he would look at me.
"Yeah, shame," I said, unable to keep the iciness out of my voice. Because you seemed pretty busy trying to suck Savannah's face. "You seemed busy."
"Yeah, well, so did you," he answered. "But anyway, I just wanted to say you were great up there."
I felt an uncontrollable warmth snaking its way all around my body and thawing my icy heart. "You don't have to say that to make me feel better."
But Riley didn't look at all sympathetic. He looked confused. "I'm not trying to comfort you. You really were great."
My brain turned to mush and it felt like I had forgotten how to speak. Thankfully though, I didn't have to, because Mrs Bidermeyer said, "Riley, come down."
"See you later," he said, with a smile and a wink. Did that mean something? Did that mean...I made it? I pushed the thought away, afraid of being disappointed again. But I couldn't control it; I hoped.
People were milling in the auditorium, some looked nervous, some looked excited. It must've been another quarter of an hour before Mrs Biedermeyer, finally satisfied that everybody was here, stood up and addressed us. Her bony hand was clutching the mic and she was looking at a strip of paper.
"When I call your names, please come on stage," she said.
I clutched my arm rest tightly as the names were called out and the owners stood on stage. I listened with a sinking feeling as Savannah's name was called out and she bounded on stage, all smiles and bobbing blond ponytail.
Then, finally, "Rebecca Scott."
I breathed a sigh of relief and stumbled on stage. There were probably fifteen of us by the time Mrs Bidermeyer stopped and glanced sympathetically at the seated candidates that didn't make it.
"That's all. For those of you who didn't make it: don't be upset, there's always next year," she consoled. "You may remain here if you wish, but please bear in mind that you must not make a peep." A few people walked out. "As for you," she turned back to the stage, "You'll be called out one by one to demonstrate your acting abilities. Before that, please sit back down."
I followed the small crowd down the stage and sat at the second row to the front. People all around me were whispering their exuberance and anxiety at the same time. But all I could think of was that I had made it. I was a step closer to being chosen. Of course, there were probably others that hadn't auditioned, but at the time, I felt wonderful.
Like anything was possible.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 19: Fears.

2010-08-20T11:30:00.000+08:00

I paced back and forth outside the cafeteria, clasping and unclasping my hands. Taking the fifth peek in the cafeteria for the day, I saw Diane and Jane talking and laughing. Nat, however, looked around the cafeteria...for me, maybe since I had told her I would be having lunch with them. But I couldn't muster up the courage to go over there. What if they thought that everything coming out my mouth was just a lie, to prove that I wasn't a bitch? What if Diane didn't even want to talk to me? I knew Jane would forgive me, she was easygoing about everything and Nat was my roommate, she couldn't stay mad at me for more than an hour. She was pretty disappointed that I didn't come, but she said, she understood.
A hand grabbed my shoulder and I jumped. Turning around to see the culprit, I saw Logan, clutching his biology textbook.
"Just talk to them," he said, as if, reading my mind. "If they're your real friends, they'd forgive you."
"And if they don't?"
"Then you'll know earlier not to waste time on them," he advised. "See you later. Gotta study." He waved his thick biology to indicate what he had to study and disappeared into the bustling cafeteria.
They're humans, too. I chanted in my head, took a deep breath and pushed the double doors open. Nat's head immediately turned to the door, and gave me an encouraging smile. Jane smiled uncertainly before returning her attention to her lunch. Diane, however, suddenly found her food incredibly interesting.
My feet felt like lead as I made my way to the cafeteria. I flopped down on the empty seat beside Nat and Jane.
"Listen," I began, rubbing my sweaty hands on my navy skirt, "I'm really sorry for missing Sunday Seven Scoop. It slipped out of my mind--"
"--as do everything else connected to us," Diane cut off. Her tone was icy and my heart fell. "Why are you here, Becca? Had a little tiff with your new friends?" She pointed her white plastic fork towards Logan's table. "What are we, your back up friends?"
"No!" I protested, "Of course not. You guys are my bestfriends, nobody can replace you guys."
"Well that's how it looks like to us!" Diane snapped.
"Shut up for a second, Dian," Nat cut in, scowling. "Let Becca finish."
Diane's face didn't soften, but she didn't interrupt either, so I went on. "I know I've been acting like a bitch, lately. But I really didn't mean to. Honest. I wasn't avoiding you guy, I was avoiding Logan's table. He wants me to eat with them every lunch. And I didn't want to upset you, either. So I don't show up to lunch at all. But we talked already, and he said it's okay for me to eat with you. And he also said, that he wants to make up for me missing the Sunday Seven Scoop, so he's inviting you guys to his own ice cream party with his friends. I know you guys might not forgive me, but would you at least come, please? I feel really bad and I'm really sorry."
"Aw Becca, of course we forgive you!" Jane said, breaking the silence.
"Of course we do, right Diane?" Nat asked.
Diane stared at me unblinkingly and I thought, "Well, this was it. This was the end of our friendship." But then Diane broke into a smile.
"Of course we do," she agreed. "I'm sorry for being so mean. Forgive me?"
"Forgiven and forgotten," I said, smiling.
"So, why did you ditch us?" Diane teased. Her question, I was relived to find, didn't contain any maliciousness.
I told them everything, feeling like we were back to our old ways. Then, by the mention of Nate's name and how he had told me he liked me, Diane asked, "Nate? As in Nate Johnson. Sienna's ex?"
"Well, I don't know his surname, but yeah, Sienna's ex," I said.
"Oh my god!" Diane gushed, bouncing up and down her seat. "He's just gorgeous! You said you liked him too, right?"
"Diane, of course I didn't! I'm with Logan and he's Sienna's ex."
"Logan's hot, too but Nate is like...wow. And who broke up with whom, here? If she broke up with him, I think you have every right to date him."
"Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll stick with Logan," I said, faithfully.
"Always knew you were a bit loose in the head."

After making up with Diane, and having been assured that I was still the same person I was a year ago, a cheerful smile was permanently stuck on my face since lunch until this evening, when Nat and I were walking back to our dorms.
"My file!" Nat exclaimed, smacking her forehead. "I have a test tomorrow! You go ahead!" She raced back towards the main building, her sling bag swaying sideways.
I sighed and continued my journey alone. I hadn't taken two steps when I saw a familiar dark-haired guy at the school's football field. Nate was packing up from a game, I guess. I panicked, remembering our last encounter, and made a run for the dorm.
I thought I was safe until a deep, throaty voice said, "Rebecca."
I turned, praying I wouldn't see Nate, but of course I did.
"Oh hi, Nate!" I said, my voice two octaves higher. I cleared my throat and said in what I hoped was my normal voice, "Didn't know you were here!"
"Really? So you just decided to sprint all of a sudden?" he asked, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Sprint who me oh no that's just how I walk really fast you know you should see me run some say I completely disappeared oh look at the time I should be going bye!"
I was about to run when Nate stopped me by grabbing my bag. I tried to yank it back, but he just tightened his grip on it. Dejected, I turned to face him.
"What?" I snapped.
"How about another date?" he asked.
"No! I told you, I'm not interested! Now let go!" At the word 'go', I wrenched my totebag away from him and staggered back when it actually came free. I straightened up and turned away when I came face to face with....Sienna.
She looked ready to kill and I shrank backwards. Fortunately, though, she wasn't directing the look at me. Nate looked indifferent to her murderous glare.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped, walking past me to her victim. "Looking for more hearts to break?"
"Calm down, Anna," he said, nonchalantly.
"Don't you dare call me that!" she spat. She looked quite demented, actually. He must've done something so terrible for her to lose her cool like this.
"Control your temper, Sienna," he said, walking towards her, "Or did you forget what I'm capable of?"
"Did you forget what I'm capable of?" she threatened back. They glared at each other for a long minute, neither wanting to back down, until Nate admitted defeat.
"Of course not," he backed off, giving her his usual smile. "I won't bother you again. See you, Rebecca."
I blushed as Sienna scrutinized me.
"I don't like him in that way," I explained, feeling inexplicably guilty.
"I know. I heard you protesting. He just can't take a hint," she said. "Asshole."
We walked in silence for the rest of the way. Sienna was deep in thought and I didn't know what to say, so I just kept quiet.
We arrived at the centre of the dorms and I said, awkwardly, "Well, see you tomorrow."
Sienna seemed to realize where we were and shook her head, as if clearing her head. "Come up for a bit."
Then, she just walked towards her dorm. Bracing myself for the worst, I followed her.
Sienna's dorm was similar to Logan's, but there were all types of flowers planted at the side and at the side of the door. And instead of a lion, a golden leopard was their emblem. She took out her key and unlocked the door.
I stepped into a spacious lobby which differed significantly from the ones in my dorm. For one, it was larger. And paintings of old alumni of the house were hung around the walls. A small chandelier adorned the ceiling. It oozed expensiveness. So these were how the high-society children lived like.
I followed Sienna up the spiral oak stairs where we arrived at the second landing. It was shaped into a circle and at the centre, was the view of the lobby. Sienna led me to the second door to the right, which, I assumed, was her bedroom.
Even the rooms were bigger! Two king sized beds and two wardrobes occupied the room. Even so, the room still had plenty of space. Two writing desks faced the ceiling-to-floor windows.
Sienna flopped down on the bed that was closest to the wall. She motioned for me to sit down on the other bed. I did so, uncertainly, wondering if her roommate would kill me for sitting down on her bed.
"Listen, you shouldn't ever hang out with Nate, okay?" Sienna said, turning her face sideways, so she could look at me. "He's no good. Do you know why we broke up?"
I shook my head. "You don't have to tell me."
"He pressured me into sleeping with him," she said, "I said no. And he went ballistic. He's a bad drunk. Even more so when he's angry while he's drunk."
"Did he do something to you?" I said. Her description of him seemed so far from the Nate I always see. But I guess you don't truly know a person.
"He didn't get the chance. I managed to punch him and he hit his head," she said, shivering as she relived the night, "I was scared, Rebecca. I was really scared. So please promise me, you won't ever hang out with him."
"I promise."

I was on my way to the cafeteria one day, when Logan tapped me on the shoulder, grinning from ear to ear.
"Why do you look like the Cheshire Cat?" I asked warily. It was bad news whenever Logan was happy.
He chuckled, probably cherishing the feeling of knowing something I didn't. Then, he coughed and said in a failed attempt of containing his glee, "Got my bio paper back, today."
My heart sank as I put two and two together. "And?" I asked, even though I already knew even before he answered.
"Got an A," he replied, stifling a satisfied chuckle, "A-plus, might I add."
"That's impossible!" I exclaimed, "From an F to an A-plus? You cheated didn't you?"
"Bex, Bex, you don't give me enough credit. I have photographic memory. Just never used it before."
"That's not fair!"
"It's not my fault I was blessed," he retorted. Then he took a yellow slip, that was folded four ways, from his jacket pocket. He handed it to me gleefully. "For you. Already signed your name up."
I groaned as I unfolded the piece of paper. On it were the words:

Westchester High's Original Spring Play: The Balcony in The Beach

Location: Auditorium
Time: 1.30 pm
Date: 8 February, 2010(for those of you who are having classes or who are engaged in any events please contact Mrs Biedermeyer to reschedule).

Only the role of Kayla Landon is available for auditions. It is also compulsory for candidates to be competent in playing the piano.

If there are any inquiries, please contact Savannah Teeger. Thank you.

"Ha!" I said, handing the slip back to Logan, "I don't know how to play the piano."
"Liar," he hissed. For a moment there, I had forgotten that he had read my diary and therefore, knew everything about me. Why did I have to pour my every thought and feeling into a non-living thing? "I saw the certificates," he explained, "You were amazing on the piano. All the teachers said so. So why'd you stop all of a sudden?"
I took a deep breath and decided to tell him the truth. Steadying myself, I sat down on the school's fountain edge. "I choked."
Logan sat down next to me, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. But he didn't ask any questions. He didn't have to.
"I loved playing the piano. It made me feel good. I got lost in the notes and the rhythms and could just think, you know? All the teachers thought I was good, too. And I guess, I was. I was fine playing the piano at the recitals because that was only a small crowd. But then my piano teacher, Miss Emma, signed me up for this huge contests where schools from all over the world were competing, and we were the hosting school. So...there was that extra added pressure. At first, I was fine. I still played really well during practice. Then, the big day came...and my fingers froze. It was embarrassing. The girls in my school laughed at me. They never really liked me so they laughed really loudly. I tried to drown them out and played again but I couldn't concentrate. Their laughs haunted me. I didn't even get the top 50. So I stopped playing altogether. When my mom asked why, I just said I got bored of it. But honestly, I just felt like a failure on the thing."
"Sounds like the girls were real bitches," Logan commented.
I laughed, shakily. I couldn't believe I had just told him everything. I didn't tell anyone that story. I didn't even write it in my diary. It was that traumatizing. "So that's why I have a fear of stages."
"Rebecca, that's ridiculous. This happened when you were in like, what, fourth grade?"
"Fifth," I corrected.
"Same difference. You can't keep running away. Someday soon you have to face your fears. Everybody screws up once in a while all you have to do is get back up again. It's like Oscar Wilde said, 'Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.'"
I stared in awe at him. "Oscar Wilde? What, did you--"
"No, I didn't Google it," he interrupted, with an irritated eye-roll. "I read, too, okay. Hey! Don't you snort at me! Anyway, you learn from your mistakes. And your mistake was letting Grade-A bitches who were probably jealous of you because they weren't good at anything get inside your head. I always knew you were a bit dumb."
Despite myself, I smiled. "I guess you're right."
"So you'll try out right? I mean, I won fair and square, after all."
I sighed. "Yes, I will. But if you laugh at me I'll make sure you won't be able to sit for a month."
I was about to go when Logan suddenly asked, "Bex, what happened with Nate?"
I turned to look at him and realized that the fact I had even hung out with Nate, still bothered him because he was putting on his best poker face. And for those who knew him as I did, would know that whenever he was trying to appear like he didn't care or was unaffected, meant that he did care and that he was affected.
"Nothing," I lied, "We just drank and he sent me back here. It was pretty boring actually."
I wasn't sure but I thought I saw a ghost of smile just before he got up, and left.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 18; Unstoppable.

2010-08-13T08:28:00.000+08:00

"Rebecca, the second half's about to start," Chace told me, already making his way towards the field. "Look at Nate, acting like he's gonna win. Yeah, we'll see..."
Chace and the rest of the team stalked off, leaving me frozen at the sidelines. Logan, sensing something wrong but afraid of approaching me, asked timidly, "Are you okay?"
I wheeled around to him and a fire burn inside me. If he didn't come around and made that stupid proposal, I would have never turned into this...bitch. I gave him a scathing look and joined the rest of the team.
When the whistle sounded, I played with so much ferocity as I could muster. I immersed myself in the game, running and sliding on the dry grass. At times, when I knew I couldn't shoot past the goalkeeper, I passed it to Logan. A bit stronger than necessary, I suppose. Once, I had kicked the ball so hard, it hit his head. The guys chalked it up to my gender and therefore, lack of experience. But Chace, who knew I was terrific at the game, and Logan, who guessed I was inexplicably mad at him, knew I was doing it deliberately.
"Rebecca," Chace called, "Aim for his legs!"
The ball hit his shin, which he caught quickly. Then, in the blink of an eye, he scored a goal.
Chace yelled, "Yes!" several times before resuming his position. The rest of the game was fruitless and in the end, the game had ended with 2-1.
As soon as we hit the bench, I quickly dried my wet neck and soothed my burning throat with ice cold water. Chace was congratulating both Logan and I.
"Every year, Nate would always win the friendly. Always. All because he had the whole wrestling team on his side. But now, ha! Just goes to show that skill outweighs size every--oh hi Nate."
The guy called Nate turned out to be Sienna's tall and, I realized, very handsome date. He grinned, overhearing all of Chace's rambling. He held out a hand and said, "Good game."
Chace took it smugly. Nate chuckled softly before letting go of his hand, then he turned to me. "But you-" he pointed his empty water bottle at me, "-You're the real star. Pretty fast, aren't you?"
I blushed as his dark eyes bore into mine. Calm down, Rebecca! "Um, I guess."
"Didn't I see you last night?" he asked, ignoring all the eyes that were scrutinizing him. Logan's fists were clenched.
"Yeah."
"Well okay, I'll see you then." He grinned and walked back to his team.
"What is wrong with that guy? It hasn't even been a week since he broke up with Sienna," Logan burst out, as soon as he was out of earshot.
"He was just being friendly," I snapped, annoyed. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed for the showers, ignoring Logan's puzzled look.

By the sounds of their laughter and splashes, the guys were still showering by the time I was finished. I felt so refreshed after cleansing myself, and a teensy bit of my anger had subsided.
A drop of water fell on my shirt and I decided to dry my hair outside, in the scalding heat. Nate's team were showering too, and so, the field was pretty much empty. I sat at the middle of the field, my spare pants coming in contact with the hot ground. A few minutes later, a shadow had fallen on me and I looked up to see Nate, who was smiling. I smiled back, uncertainly.
"Mind if I take this seat?" he asked.
I shrugged and stared up at the sky, covering my eyes from the blinding sun. The clouds looked like white cotton candy.
"I'd kill for cotton candy," I mused, then I realized that Nate was beside me and caught myself. "Sorry."
He, too was looking at the clouds. He was leaning back, his elbows supporting him, so that he looked like he was having a photo shoot rather than relaxing. It wouldn't be hard imagining him as a model, he looked gorgeous: high cheekbones, lips that seemed to smile even when he wasn't, and, I realized, muscles underneath his black shirt.
"Like what you see?" he teased, catching me staring at him. "Should I show you my abs?"
My face burned hotter than the sun, and I guessed that it had already turned red. I forced my embarrassment down and said, casually, "I'm not sure you have any."
He burst into laughter and sat up straight. "Well then maybe I should prove it to you?" He got up, his hands on the hem of his black jersey.
"S-s-st-" I stammered but I was cut off immediately by Logan's enraged voice.
"What the hell are you doing, Nate?" he snapped.
He was approaching us quicker than a bullet. I got up as Nate's hand dropped from his shirt. He still looked calm and collected, however, even betraying a ghost of a smile. "Relax, I was just playing."
Logan clenched his jaw with so much force I was surprised it didn't break. It was very weird seeing him lose his cool. But I felt a bit satisfied that he was angry and upset, much like I was.
"So, anyway, I was just about to ask your girlfriend to teach me some tactics for the game. Don't worry, I won't let her--"
"No," Logan said, crossing his arms. His fists were still clenched.
Nate's eyebrows knitted in confusion and amusement.
"I can make decisions for myself, thanks," I snapped, glaring at him. Logan lost his cool for a second, because he unclenched his jaw and his hands fell limply at his sides. "And I say, yes."
His blue eyes flashed for a nanosecond, before his face became expressionless, and he said, "See you at school then."
The look in his eyes and the expression he made just before he stalked off, had the inexplicable effect of making me feel guilty. He looked...hurt.

It seemed like we were driving for hours.
It was silent in Nate's silver Lexus. It wasn't the comfortable kind like I have with Logan, either. It was just so awkward. I felt so self-conscious every time we were at a u-turn or red light, because Nate would always just look at me, and my head would automatically look straight ahead, even though I was itching to look at him, too.
He stopped in front of a tall building in the heart of Manhattan. When I looked closer, I saw that we were at Dylan's Candy Bar. I couldn't help it, I squealed.
"Oh my god! We're at Dylan's Candy Bar. Oh my god!" Nate laughed, and I realized then, that I wasn't alone. I regained my composure(and sanity) and got out of the car slowly, even though my legs were dying to run inside and stuff my face with every assortment of candy there was. I stopped in front of the dreamy building splashed with pink, blue and yellow and just stared.
Nate stood beside me, shoving his keys inside his plaid shorts. "Come on, I'm buying."
I went inside and it seemed like words had failed me. The walls, the ceilings, the floor was all decked out in colourful swirls and polka dots and stripes. Every flavour of every candy was gathered at this store. It was packed with kids stuffing their face with jelly beans and teenagers, such as myself, who were munching on licorice coolly.
I didn't wait, I sat at the far end of the bar. The seats were coloured in red and white so that it looked like I was sitting on candy. My head was wheeling all around the room, trying to absorb everything.
"I couldn't get you cotton candy, so I got you the next best thing," Nate explained, "So, what'll it be?"
"What?" I asked, dazed. "I think I left my sanity back at the entrance."
Nate laughed, and gestured for the waitress, clad in white and pink stripes, to come over. She smelled sweet. Like, candy sweet.
"Can we get each of everything?" Nate asked. Well that snapped me back to earth.
"What? No, don't be silly," I protested.
"Ignore her," Nate said, grinning. The waitress smiled and walked to the candy station, scooping up jellybeans and chocolate covered gummy bears.
Half a minute later, when I had swallowed my saliva about a dozen times, the waitress reappeared and laid medium-sized bowls of long licorice, red and green sour belts, and chocolate covered EVERYTHING.
I picked up a bunny shaped chocolate and nibbled on it. And I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it, I stuffed my face too, much like the younger kids and a lot different than these cool teenagers.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, you'll get a sugar rush," Nate said, pushing a tall glass of water to me.
I drank it and continued to eat in what I hoped was a slower pace. Then I remembered why were here.
"You wanted to discuss tactics!" I said, "Sorry. Okay, so, I think-"
"Rebecca, I have a really skilled coach to discuss tactics with. He was a world renown football player back in his day. Never lets us forget it, either."
My eyebrows knitted and my nose scrunched up, trying to understand. "Then, why..?"
He sighed and looked at me like I was a little kid who needed explaining why the skies were blue. "Because I wanted to get to know you."
My heart thumped uneasily. "Why?"
"Because I like you, silly," he answered, smirking. He popped a red and green jellybean into his mouth. Suddenly all the candies didn't look so appealing anymore.
"I have a boyfriend," I said, "Logan." I was flattered, of course, that this handsome guy who could have any girl, liked me. But at the same time, I was really uncomfortable. He knew Logan was my boyfriend(fake boyfriend, but still), and he still...well...confessed? What, did he expect me to cheat on Logan? Well, it wouldn't be considered cheating, but still.
"Not here you don't," he whispered, a teasing glint in his eyes. He smiled and popped another jellybean in his mouth.
"And you just broke up with Sienna!" I said, remembering what Logan had said. "That was a fast recovery."
He shrugged, "It wasn't working out. But let's not talk about her. So, why do you like football?"
"Nate, just take me back to school," I mumbled, feeling ashamed. No wonder Logan was so angry: he knew Nate was a flirt. And I just snapped at him. "Please."
Nate looked confused. Then he sighed and stood up, and walked over to the cashier. "Fine, but it doesn't mean I'm giving up."

As soon as my feet touched the red bricked grounds of Westchester, I ran towards the boys dorm, feeling the uneasiness in my stomach multiply. I have to apologize, I decided.
I stopped in front of the wide two-storey building, splashed in creamy paint, just like the other houses, but it had its own little uniqueness with the other houses. On top of the large oak doors was a golden symbol of a lion with a large shining crown. The roof was splashed in royal maroon and the windows had golden frames.
I was trying to figure out a way to get inside without the head of house finding out and punishing me(no boys should be allowed in the girls' houses or vice versa). I whipped out my cellphone which had chosen that exact moment to run out of battery. I groaned in frustration as my guilt filled my whole stomach. I went to the side of the building and saw an open window. Logan's side profile came into view. He was laughing.
"Logan!" I hissed. "Logan!"
But Logan had completely disappeared from the window. There was a very old vine snaking through some sort of white fence that was strategically propped in between the windows. A light bulb was switched on in my head. This must be what the boys use to escape curfew!
I put a testing hand on the gate and tugged. It didn't even budge. I took a deep breath, placed my foot inside the tiny square and began to climb. Even though it was just two story, each floor was so high, I felt tired when I arrived at the top.
I reached the side of Logan's window and sneaked my head inside the window; He was lying on his bed, staring at his phone, solemnly. I looked around and saw that he was alone.
I was about to go inside, when I realized I didn't know how to. "Logan," I hissed nervously because I thought I heard the fence creaked.
Logan straightened up and searched madly around for the source of the voice.
"Logan! Window!" I hissed, my palms were getting sweaty and I felt my grip slacken.
Logan saw me and cursed, his hand clutching his heart. He went over to the window.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded. His head popping outside the window.
"Ask later, help now!"
He sighed and said, "Put one of your foot on the ledge...yeah. Now put your hand on the topmost ledge of the window...and the other one. And now your other leg."
I was standing on the window's ledge, clutching the top. "Um...Logan...how do I get inside?"
"Just jump in," he said, "Trust me."
I gulped and felt my foot leave the ledge and land on soft carpet. I opened my eyes and saw Logan, arms crossed. I realized now that he was wearing boxers, only.
"Put a shirt on!" I said, throwing a shirt that was hanging on the back of a chair in his face. "Why are you always half naked?"
He put his wrinkled red shirt on, haphazardly. "There. Now why are you here?"
I realized how stupid and flawed my plan was. "I...well, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For being mad at you. Of course, the diary is entirely your fault but the falling out with my friend, weren't. It was mine. I didn't have to accept your offer. You were just being nice. And I just blamed you for everything. So I'm sorry."
"Wait, you fought with your friend?" Logan asked, his face softening. "Who? Nat?"
"Diana," I answered, "But that doesn't matter. I'm just really sorry."
He ran a hand over his blonde hair. "It's okay. So why'd you guys fight?"
I told him the whole story, pacing back and forth to concentrate. "...so now she hates me," I said.
"Why didn't you just tell me in the first place?" Logan sighed. "For a smart girl, you really are dumb."
"Hey!"
"Just tell them that you'll be there on Sunday. With me," Logan said, flopping back down on his bed. "Oh and you can have your lunch with them, if it means that much to you. Besides, eating in classrooms? Really pathetic."
Even though he put his usual explanation of why he was being even remotely nice and even added an extra insult, I could tell that he actually meant well.
"Whatever." I went over to his bed and saw that his biology textbook was open. "Wait, were you studying?"
"Of course. I'm gonna have to study to win the bet, won't I? If I were you, I'd brush up on my acting skills."

Tinseltown Lies; 80: Bad-byes.

2010-08-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

The party outside Nina's garden looked absolutely amazing. They were blanketed by a hundred twinkling stars and just sat outside the patio, relaxing and talking. Like everything was perfectly normal. Like tomorrow was going to be just an ordinary day. Like they weren't moving to different places, and starting the beginning of their college life.
Nina shivered from the cold and Alex instinctively put his coat over hers.
"Just like good old times, eh?" he whispered in her ear, as Halley told the rest of the group about her first day working as a part timer at her father's business.
"My shoes' are still in tact, thank you very much," Nina said, smiling as she, too recalled their first time meeting. How different she was now, than that first time he had met her. How different he was, too.
"Which reminds me of your present," he said, "Hold on." He excused himself from the table and went disappeared inside her house.
"...so then I panicked. 'Cause I thought I broke the photocopy machine," Halley rambled on, at the edge of her seat, "But then it turns out that it was out of order!" Everyone laughed at Halley's silly anecdote except of course, Halley. "It wasn't supposed to be funny!"
"Wait, wait, I got a joke!" Ash burst out, leaning in. Her eyes opening wide, like it usually did when she tried to be comical. The rest of the group waited in silence at Ash's usually unfunny jokes. They entertained her, nonetheless, because laughing at her incapability at being funny was funner than the joke itself.
"So, I was at this bar..." she began, but Nina didn't hear the rest of it because Alex walked in carrying a shoe box. Nina glanced quizzically at him but he just smiled mysteriously and laid the black box with a colorful rainbow design on her lap. She opened the lid and for the first few seconds, she wondered where on Earth the other pair of high heel was until she inspected the shoes and gasped. The heel was exactly the same one that had come off during her first day at California. The black pointed heel was redesigned, so that a bunch of flowers crossed over it. And it had also a body to go along with it.
"How?" Nina asked.
"Halley," he said. Nina glanced at Halley, who beamed. "She's starting an online shoe store."
"They're beautiful," she said, "But I can't possibly wear them, can I? I've only got half a pair."
Alex chuckled. "They're not for wearing, silly. It's something to remember me by. You know, whenever a handsome guy walks by and you wonder why you're still with me, you look at that heel and think back to all our memories together."
Little memories from the days that they were together flashed in her mind. Alex grinning as he saw her at the balcony. Nina receiving 60 flowers in one day. Logan and Nina in the Bahamas for his birthday. Logan kissing her. Nina crying. Logan stopping a plane for her.
A tennis ball for stuck in her throat and tears poured down her face as she looked at Ash who was insisting that her story was funny and to let her try again. Then at Halley, who had been a friend when she needed it most. Then there was Jason, who was always there for her. Josh, whose childish ways she was going to miss. And at Elle, who never ceased to put a smile on her face. Alicia, who was hard on Nina but was now one of her bestfriends'.
These people changed her life. They had all noticed her tear-streaked face and asked worriedly what was wrong with her.
Alex shook his head, and took her further away from the group to the small gazebo on her backyard. She cried on his shoulders, as the thought of the past year, of their break-ups and make-ups, of the hardships she faced this year, flooded her mind.
"Things are gonna change," she choked.
He stroked her hair and said, "Yes, they are. But nothing stays the same. 'Nothing gold can stay' remember? And we'll all still be together. You know Halley can't stand not talking to you even for a day."
"But what if you...what if we..."
"Break up? What if I fall in love with another girl? That's impossible, and you know it," he said, pulling her away so he could look earnestly in her eyes. "We've broken up more than I count. But we always get back together. Don't you think if we should've broken up, we would've by now?"
Nina stopped crying and wiped her tears away, feeling much better. Alex pulled her towards the anxious crowd and, seeing her tears dry up, started talking normally.
Elle and Ash were having their usual debate of who was funnier. Halley was egging them on, her head on Josh's shoulder. And Alicia merely rolled her eyes, but betrayed a hint of a smile as she looked at the two of them.
For this one night, everyone was just unwinding and talking as usual. None of them thought of the heartbreak of tomorrow. For this one golden night everything was perfectly normal.

The end.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 17; Running.

2010-08-12T07:58:00.000+08:00

We arrived at a luscious green soccer field half an hour later. There was already a small crowd of guys gathering there, I recognized three of them: Chace, Trent and Tia's date from last night. There were also a couple of other guys I had seen from Chace's party present. Each and everyone one of them were bulky and looked like they worked out 24/7.
I got out of the car and followed Logan to the meaty group of guys, who gave Logan fist bumps and high fives. I felt really out of place and was just wondering what I was doing here when Chace saw me and grinned broadly. "Great, you're here! I was hoping you'd come." Then he turned back to the guys and announced, "She's our striker."
There was a short pause broken only by my shocked, "What?"
The rest were gazing me from top to bottom. I crossed my arms, insecurely. Then, each of them burst into various arguments all at once. "They'll knock her down." "Is she fast, though?" "They'll KNOCK her down."
I looked at Logan for some sort of explanation. Apparently, he didn't know what was going on because he shrugged.
"SHUT UP!" Chace bellowed, massaging his temples. "She's not burly, therefore, she's fast." I wasn't so sure about this. The last time I ran was in middle school. "You know the other team's huge-" Well that made me feel better, "-so she'll be easily hidden by the rest of the guys. And let's face it, no matter how badly these guys want to win, they're still gentlemen, so they won't knock her down, okay?"
"Not okay!" I said.
"Why not?" Chace asked. "You've played soccer before right?"
"Yeah, with girls!"
"Just stay out of the guy's way and keep making yourself open. It's easy."
"But I mean...well just how big are these guys?" I asked, worriedly.
As if one cue, two SUVs parked themselves in front of the field and huge guys(huger than the guys on the field) got out. They. Were. ENORMOUS.
"Logan!" I cried, looking pleadingly up at him.
"Come on, Chace, this is crazy. She's just a girl. Their thighs are as big as her waist!" Oh, he wasn't exaggerating. They set themselves up at the opposite side of the field and I realized that I recoginized one of them: it was the tall dark haired guy from last night, as well. Sienna's date.
"Logan, they won't hurt her," Chace replied. "You've seen the guys, they play by size. If she plays, speed is on our side. It's the only thing we have."
"Chace-"
"I'll play," I said, feeling slightly bad. Chace looked like he really wanted to win and I did owe Logan.
"Yes!" Chace said, pumping a fist in the air. "I'll show Nate..." He walked towards the center of the field, followed by the rest of the guys.
"Bex, you don't have to do this," Logan said. I froze and he seemed to realise what he just let slip. He just called me by my middle-school nickname. And the only way he could have known was if...
"You read my diary?" I cried, outraged. "YOU READ MY DIARY?"
"Accidentally!" he answered. "I-I was looking for Nat's number! I thought it was a phone book!"
"So why'd you keep reading?" I said, trying to control my temper.
Then, ignoring his spluttering which was a confirmation that he did, indeed, keep reading, I stalked off towards the rest of the team, where they were deciding on who was skins and shirts. I forgot about my anger entirely as the prospect of having to be shirtless dawned on me and I looked frantically at Chace who was grinning mischieviously.
"Fancy being skins, Becca?" he asked, followed by chuckles from the guys.
Logan joined us and he was careful not to stand too close to me. My disregarded rage came back and I answered angrily back at Chace, "Sure, why not?" I clutched the edge of my shirt threateningly. Logan's eyes flashed and it was Chace's turn to panic.
"Kidding! We were kidding. Can't your girlfriend take a joke, Logan?" He laughed nervously and cleared his throat. "Shirts, right."
The opposite team didn't have any problem with baring it at all. They took their shirts off, exposing their ostrich-size six packs, and discarded it at the foot of their bench. The fact that I was angry, and that the sun was directly overhead, made me blush more than what was necessary.
Chace shunted me to my position before my face could turn redder. The other team seemed to have realized I was playing because they grinned. Well, just because you're bigger than me...
As soon as the whistle sounded, I whizzed past several half-naked guys, towards the goal post. A big burly guy stood in front of me. Fuming, I ran to the other side. Keep yourself open.
The ball was passed around so quickly, I had trouble keeping up with it. Then, the ball was in our possession, and was quickly passed around to my left...I sprinted towards the ball and caught it just as soon as a blonde fully-clothed guy kicked it towards me. I quickly ran with the ball. I was just a few feet away. Come on...
The big burly guy from before smirked and advanced on me, ominously. I kicked the ball in between his legs and quickly took it in possession again. Two more guys were approaching me with the speed of a bullet. I was completely drenched in sweat now and had to wipe sweat off my blurry eyes. In a split second decision, I passed the ball to Logan who had just arrived and was behind the two guys. He caught it and passed it back to me, just as I had managed to shake the two guys off my tail. As soon as the ball made contact with my feet, I chanced a goal. The ball swerved to the right, just as the goal keeper leaped to the left. It went in!
I jumped for joy and allowed myself to feel good before resuming my position.
Apparently they had marked me as being dangerous, because three guys were now guarding me. And they weren't easy to shake.
"GET AWAY FROM OUR STRIKER!" Chace bellowed, as one of the guys, attention only on the ball, knocked me sideways in chase of the ball. I knew it wasn't deliberate because his size had obviously never knocked down a guy as big as him before. But seeing as how he was ten times my size, the smallest shove sent me hurtling towards the ground. He had also looked stricken at what he did and quickly apologized before pursuing the ball.
The other team managed to score an equalizer, after having lost the ball to one of the guys were guarding me. And I fell down quite a lot after that, which was almost always followed by apologies.
I was getting really tired, and was glad when the whistle sounded, marking that the first half had just ended. I walked limply to the bench, sweat-drenched, mud covered and grass strewn over my exposed calves. I drank the icy cold water and had instantly felt better. Logan looked warily back at me and I looked angrily away.
"Good job just now, Rebecca. You were...wow," Chace said. He was covered in mud but didn't look at all tired. Actually, none of the guys did. They must've been used to playing for hours on end in the scorching heat. He then launched into a full-on criticism with the rest of the guys.
Seeing as how it didn't concern me, I took a minute to check my phone. I had two messages from Nat and Diana. I listened to Nat's first. "Rebecca! Where are you? Diana is fuming! Oh and me and Trent had a...good time. But where are you?" Why was Diana mad? I listened to her message and my stomach churned. "Where are you?" she hissed, "We've never missed Sunday Seven Scoop! You know what, I didn't want to say this but lately you've been too busy for us. Ever since you dated Logan you acted like you were too good for us. You barely even have lunch with us anymore! Well you can say goodbye to your old friends because it's become clear that you prioritize your new friends more." I gulped. still clutching the phone to my ear. Sunday Seven Scoop was when the four of us-Diana, Nat, Jane and I-watched chick flicks and eat seven scoops of ice cream, all different flavour. It was today and I missed it.
Of course, I had already guessed that I was bound to be a stuck up bitch after being transformed into someone other than myself. But I didn't...mean to. I didn't even have lunch with anyone anymore. Surely Diana knew that? I was usually at my next class, eating pathetically alone. I didn't want to go to the cafeteria because I knew Logan would've made me sit with them. But I guess this was the truth: I had changed.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 16; Revealing.

2010-08-08T06:52:00.000+08:00

The very first thing I felt as soon as I woke up was a throbbing pain in my temples, followed by a piercing pain at the back of my head. Then I became aware of the disgusting and bitter taste in my mouth. It felt like I had just gurgled bile. Yuck.
I had yet to open my eyes, for fear of increasing the piercing pain in my temples but I realized that I was lying on a soft bed. So, I wasn't in school because their mattresses were a bit lumpy. Where was I then?
I cautiously opened my eyes and it felt like a dozen daggers had just stabbed my head. My vision was a bit blurry so I didn't see much but a canopy. A canopy? I don't know any place with a canopy bed. My heart raced as the possibility of someone kidnapping occurred.
Bracing myself against the throbbing pain, I quickly opened my eyes and, staggering, got out of the massive king size bed with super comfortable duvet. I saw my contact lens box at the bed side table, so I had taken it off? Well if I took it off then I couldn't have been kidnapped.
It got increasingly easier as my headache subsided. What happened last night? I turned and saw my reflection in the full length mirror that was conveniently placed on the opposite wall of the bed.
I looked horrible. There were streaks of black mascara running down my pasty cheeks and my hair looked like it'd make a comfortable place for a bird's egg, it looked nothing like the soft and straight hair I had last night.
Last night! Chace's party!
I realized then that there was an ominous pink stain at the edge of the dress. I walked towards the mirror, which confirmed my fears that that was puke. My puke. How was I going to return the dress now?
I turned to my right and saw a classic writing desk with a brass reading lamp. On the cluttered desk was a photo of a familiar blond guy and two other friends. I couldn't see with my blurred vision so I walked dizzily towards it. It was a picture of a younger Logan with a younger Chace on his left and a younger Trent on his right. They were wearing their navy lacrosse uniforms and each of them had a mischievous gleam in their eyes. Some thing's never change.
And then little tidbits of last night flashed in my mind. Logan taking a wasted me home(his home?) And...me kissing Logan!
I clapped my hand to my mouth to prevent myself from screaming in embarrassment. My knees buckled and I sat down on the black leather chair. On the desk, I saw a bunch of report cards with Logan's name. They all contained 'F's and, on rare occasions, 'E's.
As I was scrutinizing his eye-widening eyes, the door burst open and I jumped in fright, clutching my heart in surprise.
Logan stood at the doorway, wearing his signature polo shirt and simple jeans and holding a glass filled with maroon fluid. His hair was back to being wild.
"Oh good, you're awake," he said, handing me the glass. "Drink. It helps with a hangover."
I took a timid sip and grimaced. It tasted worse than bile. But it did lessen my migraine. So I took another sip.
"That's disgusting," I commented, handing the drink back to him.
"So is your puke," he said, with a smile. "I should know. You kissed me twice."
I wished, then, that I was drinking the foul thing so that I could accidentally spit the drink on his face. Be that as it may, I just stood, rigid, fighting the warmth that was creeping over my neck.
"I was drunk," I said, nonchalantly. Then I remembered my dress and frowned. "What am I gonna do about the dress?"
"Why?"
"Well it was borrowed," I explained, "So now, since it's damaged, I'd have to pay for it, right?"
"Oh I wouldn't worry about it," he answered.
My eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Why not?"
"Oh...Sienna settled it," he answered. "So anyway, what were you doing?"
"Looking at your report. Do you ever ace anything?"
He shrugged and flopped down on the bed. "I can. I choose not to."
"Liar," I said, examining more reports.
"You wanna bet?" he asked, jumping off the bed and walking towards me.
I didn't, of course, because 1) I had no money and 2) a small part of me thought that there was a slight chance he might win but nevertheless, being the stubborn and stupid me, I replied, "It's on. If I win, you stop seeing all these girls." I didn't know where that came from but I was pleased to see him nod.
"Fine," he answered, "But if I win, you're gonna have to try out for the lead role in your play. It's perfect too, you tryouts finish on Friday, I have a test tomorrow. So, what do you say?"
NO. I say NO, my rational more practical mind screamed. But I said, "No problem," instead. Logan smirked. "Fine." He walked towards the door but before he went out, he said, "Oh and, you should call Nat, she was panicking last night."
As soon as the door swing shut, I took my black clutch and dug wildly around for my cellphone. I had 5 voice messages. All from Nat, who was quite worried. "I heard you're with Logan. I'm sorry! I tried to find you but you already left! Don't kill me! Call me ASAP."
I quickly typed in the words: 'It's fine. You deserve a good night with Trent. How was it, btw? ;-)' and pressed send.
Then I swung the door open and was just about to leave, when a small slip of paper flew out of Logan's jacket that was hanging at the back of the door. I quickly grasped it and was just about to shove it back inside the jacket's pocket when I saw the words 'Vera Wang Gray Charmeuse Shift Dress' and froze. Why was Sienna's receipt in Logan's pocket? Unless...he paid for it. I stared at the receipt for what seemed like an hour when the door had burst open, knocking me sideways, and, guessing that I wasn't supposed to see this, I hastily shoved the slip back inside.
Logan's head came from the other side of the door and his eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What were you doing?"
"I was on my way out," I lied smoothly, though my heart was still thumping unusually from seeing that single and unusual act of kindness from Logan. He probably had a very good explanation of why he did it. It was probably for his benefit anyway. But I was still uneasy.
"Oh okay," he said, convinced, "Listen, Chace wants you to come to the soccer match this evening, since you left early last night. I know you don't want to but he insisted--"
"I'll come," I said. And then we're even, I added mentally.
Logan looked at me weirdly, clearly he knew this was out of character. It was like Logan agreeing to MY demands wholeheartedly. "Gosh, I'm hungry. What's for breakfast?" I said, but before I could walk out of the room to satisfy my needs, Logan pulled me by the back of my dress.
I hastily thought of a reason lest he asked what was wrong with me. But he never did, instead he said, "You're not eating breakfast like that. Your clothes are in there--" he pointed to the only other door in the room, "--Kingsley got them for you."
I was about to ask who Kingsley was, but Logan had shut the door behind him, leaving me to change my puke-stained dress. I could use a good shower, though. My hair was a tangled mess of red.
I looked around Logan's room and realized that he had no closet. Where'd he put his clothes then? I'd ask him later. Feeling the aftereffects of not having a shower, I pushed the door open eagerly, expecting to see a bathroom. But...it wasn't. It was a spacious room, bigger than my bed room, all filled with shirts, hoodies, tuxedos, formal shoes, sneakers...every necessity attire for a guy was there. It was like walking into a mini-mall. So...this was where he put his clothes.
At the centre of the room was a rack, where my white shirt hung, beside my knee-length gym pants. My sport shoes were laid neatly below it.
After I had gotten over my initial shock, I realized I didn't know where the bathroom was. I took a tentative step forward towards the door on the opposite side.
Behind the single mahogany door was the most beautiful bathroom I had ever seen. A long marbled counter with three sinks occupied the whole wall and three mirrors hung. At the centre was a large circular bathtub built in the ground, so that it looked like a swimming pool. There was also a shower cubicle made entirely of translucent glass. On the opposite wall were four wood paneled closets. I opened each of them curiously. The first one contained four levels of towels, colour coded. The second contained all sorts of shampoos with their conditioners placed beside them. I picked my favourite pink shampoo, excitedly. The third was for soaps, bubble baths and shower gels. I took a lavender shower gel that smelled like I was in a field of lavenders. The last closet had various facial products, toothbrushes and toothpastes.
I was seriously wondering whether this was a store or a house.

Logan was sitting at the head of the table, reading his newspaper, and occasionally sipping his orange juice. He, too, was wearing a sporty attire: a simple white t-shirt, knee length shorts and white sneakers. Judging by his half-eaten American breakfast, he had already dug in. From a mile away, I could already see that the long teak table was covered entirely with food. My stomach growled ravenously and I took a seat left of Logan hurriedly.
"Is there a reason why I'm dressed like this?" I asked, buttering the warm scones. It tasted so good. Of course, that could be due to my hunger, but I highly doubted it.
Logan, having finished his paper, set it down and resumed eating his breakfast.
"Dunno. Chace told me you should dress comfortably." His cellphone lit up and, after having read his message, smiled. He caught my eyes and quickly wiped his smirk off.
I wondered idly, if that was one of his flings, but smacked myself mentally for feeling so...I don't know, jealous? But that was ridiculous. I was just worried for Nat, I told myself.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 15; Starry eyed.

2010-08-06T14:10:00.000+08:00

Waiters and waitresses were setting up the table, clad in pristine white table cloth. Several round tables adorned the spacious ball room, where at the center was the dance floor. In front was the stage, lights already emanating from it.
It looked really formal. I was surprised his parents weren't here. It was the kind of party that you wouldn't expect from such a wild and fun person like Chace because everything screamed proper. Nobody else seemed to notice this abnormality, though. And they were his close friends, which was saying a lot.
But I didn't have time to dwell on it because at that moment Riley had strode in, looking handsome in his blue dress shirt with silver stripes and topped of with a gray vest. What wasn't appealing however, was the date he was with; Savannah in a a strapless white dress that looked like part of her skin. Yeah, that's how tight it was. I'd like to say that she looked like a troll in it, but she looked absolutely gorgeous. What little confidence I had with myself dissipated.
He caught my eye and smiled before going to a table he was ushered to. Logan was busy joking with his friends to notice my depression so I surreptitiously slipped out of the ballroom and into the bathroom where I had difficulty believing that the girl in front of the mirror....was me.
My hair looked softer and more tamed than it had for the first time in my 15 years of life. The make-up made me look fresh and young and the dress...it just...pulled everything together. I don't say this often and though I know I might sound vain but I look good. Not prettier than Savannah though...
"Snap out of it," I told myself.
"What I've been telling you for years now," a voice said and I was surprised to find Nat coming out of the cubicle, looking sheepish but...really pretty. Her hair fell in loose curls around her bright face and she was wearing a beautiful green dress with emeralds encrusted just below her chest which was held together by a darker belt.
"Nat!" I said, turning around, "You're here! Wha-why are you here?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I was gonna tell you this morning but you were gone." This is it. She was gonna tell me. "I like--"
"I know," I interrupted. "It's okay."
"Really?" she said, relieved. "Thank God."
"But...who are you with tonight?" I asked. If the guy she liked was my date...then...
Nat looked at me in confusion and she was about to say something when a my phone vibrated and sounded, echoing through the marbled walls of the bathroom.
"Hold on," I said, and took out my phone from the little black clutch. It was Logan. "Yeah?"
"Where the hell are you?" he hissed, an edge to his voice. "My girlfriend," I heard him say to someone. "Well?"
"I'm in the bathroom," I said, "Why?"
"We're supposed to dance apparently. Now get over here. Now," he ordered and hung up.
I sighed and dropped the phone back in my bag. "I have to go," I told Nat, who was looking at her cellphone.
"Me too. I'm supposed to dance," she said.
"Oh me too!"
So we went back to ball room where couples were situated at the dance floor. Chace and Nicole, Sienna and the tall guy, Tia and the French guy, Logan, who locked eyes with me, and Trent searching the crowd for...Nat?"
I stared as she took his arm and he placed his free arm on her waist. Then the realization dawned on me. She went here with the same agenda I had: to make the guy she liked jealous. That's why she was with Trent. It made me feel uneasy because Trent seemed like he really liked her. It was okay with me because Logan hated my guts, but stringing a guy along like that...
"You know how to waltz right?" Logan whispered in my ear as he placed his arm on my waist.
I feigned panic, "What's that?"
Logan's face drained of color at the possibility of me embarrassing him. I suppressed a giggle as he said, "Just follow my lead."
"If I know how to..." I said uncertainly.
The quartet on stage started playing a melodious music and I moved as easily as if I were walking. Logan looked surprised but hastily concealed it.
"Liar," he hissed, but he looked relieved. "Where'd you learn to dance?"
"My parents brought me to those parties, too you know," I answered. "I hated them."
"Me too," he answered truthfully. "The only good thing was hooking up."
"So why's Chace's party like this?" I asked, ignoring his slutty ways.
Logan grinned, his eyes glinting. He seemed to know something I didn't. The music ended and we went back to the table, where we were served the appetizer. Herb Mushroom Soup with baguettes. I ate mine half-heartedly after seeing Riley exchange jokes with Savannah.
Logan seemed to guess at what I saw because he whispered, "When I slap your knee, laugh."
"Wha-Ha ha ha," I laughed, because at that time Logan had slapped my knee and I felt a jolt.
The others looked at us quizzically.
"Logan told a joke," I lied, rubbing my knee and shooting him inconspicuous scathing looks. "He is just hilarious."
Logan smiled and draped an arm around my chair. The others seemed that that sufficed, except Nat who cocked her head to Riley's table when no one was looking, as if asking, "Because of him?"
I nodded. She gave me an encouraging smile before turning her attention back to Trent. They really looked good together.
Then, hungry for revenging, I slapped Logan's knee as hard as I could. There was a loud 'thwack' followed by howl of pain from Logan. The others looked at us again.
Logan clutched his stomach. "Ow, my stomach hurts Rebecca. Stop being so funny," he said, his eyes flashing. I smiled innocently.
The bowl of soup was taken by another white uniformed-clad waiter and was replaced with the main course: some sort of steak and mashed potatoes.
"This is really boring Chace," Sienna snapped, scowling at her dinner. No one seemed to mind the fact that Sienna had just insulted Chace's party. Even Chace himself, who let out a defeated sigh.
"I know," he agreed, looking at his watch. "Just an hour more."
"To what?" I whispered to Logan.
"I'll tell you later," he whispered back. "Smile, he's looking."
I smiled as wide as I could to which Logan responded, "Are you trying to scare him? Relax."
The dessert came and went and the lights were dimmed, save for the stage's light which were currently aimed at the quartet who were playing a slow song for the couples. Among them I could see a red headed boy and blonde girl, their lips together.
I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of being reckless. So I downed my untouched glass of champagne, which had already turned a bit warm.
It felt like fire had gone down my throat.
I coughed and spluttered. Thankfully, though Logan was the only one there. He pushed a glass of water to me and I drank it gratefully.
But the reckless feeling didn't subside so I took Logan's glass. "Are you drinking this?" But I had already downed it before he could say anything. It felt much more soothing than it did before. Like ice that left traces of warmth in your esophagus. I poured more champagne into my slim flute and drunk it carelessly, wishing I had something a bit stronger. Before I could pour my fourth, however, Logan took my wrist.
"That's not water," he said, taking the champagne and stowing it far away from me as possible.
I chanced a glance at Riley whose forehead was trying to connect with Savannah.
"I wish she was ugly," I blurted. "But she's not. She's so pretty. And she's smart. Don't you think she's smart?"
Riley caught my eye and I saw a mixture of...what? Guilt? Regret?
"I wish I knew how to read minds," I said. "Or faces." I sighed. "Don't you want to read minds?"
"Yeah, sure," Logan replied but his attention was to his watch and he finally said, "It's time."
Then, he took my hand and led me away from the ballroom and into the kitchen.
"If you were hungry you could've said so," I said, feeling dizzy. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk all those champagne. Was four enough to get me drunk? I asked Logan that.
"Are you drunk?" he asked, sharply.
"I don't know," I answered but the ground was moving. "I don't think so."
He sighed and led me to another door, which is where two other couples had disappeared into.
They were waiting for the elevator and exchanged knowing glances at each other. Logan gave him familiar smile.
Then, all of a sudden we were on the roof. Except...well it was decked out to be a rave.
Circular black leather seats were everywhere. There was a small glass table where drinks that looked much much stronger than champagne were sitting. There was a real live band(The Honorary Title by the looks of the logo on their drums) playing. And waiters and waitresses were walking around offering the party goers hors d'oeuvres and more champagne(though it didn't look appealing now that I was feeling its after-effects).
"Every year, Chace's parents would always make him go to these formal parties," Logan said, steering me away to a secluded seat where I gratefully sat down, "And so he would go. Because they paid for practically everything on the one condition that it be you know, proper.
"And he would go along with it. Eating a three course meal, picking out the orchestra. The works. But every year, after people had started dancing and getting a wee bit drunk, he chose a few well selected people to go to the...'real party'."
"And no one found it odd that the birthday boy and a few other people were missing?" I asked, glancing longingly at the leather seats to just sit down and sleep.
"Of course they've noticed. But I guess they've always thought he thought the party boring and left. It wouldn't be the first time though."
"Savannah and Riley are here," I observed, staring at the couple who were laughing and joking.
"Yeah, he's Chace's cousin," Logan said.
I took another flute from a passing waiter and quickly downed it before Logan could stop me. Well, if Riley was going to have fun then so was I. I felt rocky on my heels though, as if I had just spun around the room for several times. But I managed to collect myself when I grabbed Logan's hand and led him to the dance floor where I just...let loose.
The last thing I remembered was doing something incredibly stupid and embarrassing; kissing Logan.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 14; Your eyes.

2010-08-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

It took nearly the whole day to find the right dress, to find the perfect make-up, to find the best shoes that matched the dress. My legs were ready to fall off from walking around so much and my skin was already irritated by the constant changing and trying out of dresses.
But the odd thing was, I didn't think of it as a chore. Nicole's excitement at every dress she saw was hilarious and Sienna's quick and honest remark at every dress we wore saved some time, but of course Nicole insisted at trying on a few more. Tia had already found her dress(a short Chanel black dress that ended below her knees with a sequined neck that covered her chest. This was to be worn with black leggings and matching Chanel heels. I scoffed at Logan's remark that girls had to bare it all) in the first store we went to, so she just sat and read a few magazines, not inclined to try on any more dresses.
After quite a long time, Nicole had finally decided on dark green dress by Vera Wang after much aggravated scolding by Sienna. "But it's so rough," Nicole griped.
"Beauty is pain, Nicole," Sienna said, sternly. "Either get the dress or go naked. Either way, this is our last shop."
Nicole pouted, but took the dress.
"Are we doing our hairs too?" Nicole asked when we got in the car. Which I realised to be tainted. But of course.
"Do you think I'm going like this?" Sienna held up a strand of perfect ginger hair and let it go, seemingly making her point.
But we didn't go to a salon. Which prompted me to ask again, what I hoped wasn't a ridiculous question to them. "Aren't we going to the salon?"
"Mmmhmm," Tia answered, flipping her magazine with her usual bored expression. "Sienna's salon."
"Sienna has a salon in her house," Nicole explained.
How very surprising.

Sienna's house could fit in 50 very large Hummers in the first floor alone. And there were three.
I stared, shocked and awed, at the beautifully decked living room, mahogany made staircases that could fit three people in, high ceilings which currently hung a chandelier that looked like it was made of twinkling stars.
When I was younger I used to think how ridiculous it was when writers described a grand house as being able to fit in a very small one, but now that I've seen Sienna's house, I can safely say that it could fit a medium-sized house and its backyard.
"Wow," I said.
"Thanks," Sienna replied. Apparently she heard this all the time.
A small Mexican woman with tired lines on her face and a very tight bun appeared. She was closely followed by a similar but younger Mexican girl who smiled brightly while the woman merely waited.
Rodrigo went in and we had to move from the doorway so he could slip past us. He gave the...maids(I guess), some of the boxed shoes and dresses, which were in black boxes filled with paper,and the bag of very very expensive jewelery, that I could never in my whole entire life afford. Thankfully though, we could borrow the things. Just like the dresses and the shoes. We just had to return it back by tomorrow.
"Take those to the dressing room. And call Lamina," Sienna ordered. Then, she led us past the gorgeous living room to a tainted glass door. She pushed it aside and I was suddenly in a big room covered all in white. White leather seats, white hair dryers, white racks, white walls. There were five seats facing a full body mirror, to which I took the seat between Nicole and the vacant seat.
"So, what does the hairstylist do when you don't use her or, you know, him?" I asked.
This earned me another chuckle.
"What do you mean when I don't use her?" Sienna asked. "You don't think I could look as effortlessly gorgeous in school as I do without effort, do you?"
Well, I was under the impression that, that was what effortless meant. But who knew what these people thought. "Right. Of course," I answered, not wanting to be laughed at again. "So she travels to school?"
"Mmhmmm."
A moment later an eccentric looking woman that was the polar opposite of the Mexican woman, strode in, followed by three other excited looking girls. The woman was as white as chalk and had streaks of red and green in her blond hair. She was wearing a sleeveless rainbow-coloured dress and had a insane smile on her face. She was a cross between the Joker and Albert Einstein.
The woman strode over to Sienna while the other girls strode to each of us. My hair stylist was a pretty young girl with an easy smile and short copper hair that she tied in a ponytail.
"What'll it be today, Sienna?" the woman asked, simultaneously taking strands of Sienna's hair and letting it go. She had a distinct French accent.
"We have a party to go, Lamina," Sienna answered, "Semi-casual, semi-formal."
"I see," Lamina said, pacing around the room and looking at our reflection in the mirror. She stopped at Sienna. "You, of course, messee poneetail. You-" she walked over to Tia, "-'avy bangs, straight 'air." Then it was Nicole's turn, "Messee updo." When she walked over to me I felt excited but she looked hesitant. "New face. Hm...good cheek bones," she mused, "Also good eyes. But that would be...no, no..." She seemed in a trance. I looked fearfully to Nicole who had a white towel over her hair after having it washed.
"She's a genius. Has to pick the right hair, etc etc," Nicole explained.
"I've got it!" Lamina said, clapping her hands suddenly. "Of course, I would usually en'ance...but...Yes, yes. Straight 'air," she announced, "Side-swept bangs. Okay!" She said, content with herself while I merely stared at my reflection. Me, in straight hair. My hair had always been uncontrollably curly. Fear and excitement pulsed through me as the girl led me to the hair washing station.

There was loud ring and Sienna said, "The boys are here."
I had changed into my gray Charmeuse shift dress by Vera Wang a while ago but was forbidden to look at myself before they were done with the whole make-over. The dress felt like I wasn't wearing anything(I'm not sure I liked that) and had ended, thankfully, below my knees. I looked sideways at Sienna, who was clad in a scarlet red dress by Oscar de la Renta that exposed her toned and tanned legs which were wearing a painful-looking bloody red five inch heels. Her feet were imaptiently twitching while the girl put make-up on her.
After a while, Lamina strode in and looked at each of us(our backs were to the mirror to create suspense) and exclaimed with delight, "Perfect!"
Sienna stood up and air kissed Lamina on both cheeks for fear of ruining her make-up. "Lamina, you really are a genius."
Lamina cackled and shunted us towards the door before I had the chance to look at my reflection appropriately. My hair felt small which was good but the bangs kept irritatingly getting in my eyes.
Sienna pushed the glass doors open again and I saw four immaculately dressed guys sitting in the living room. I recognized two of them, Logan and Chace.
They stood up when we strode in and of course, this is the part that Logan becomes speechless in novels, right? Wrong. I knew better of course so when he said, "Let's go," I really wasn't surprised.
Chace, the birthday boy, I learned, was Nicole's date. A French guy who apparently went to out school and had a very heavy accent compared to Lamina was Tia's and very tall guy who Ive never met before was Sienna's.
Logan looked particularly smart. His blonde hair was slightly tamed and he changed his cologne to something strong that made me dizzy which made me sit as far as possible away from him as I could with the minimum space in the limo.
We arrived at the hotel moments later and I felt very anxious as to how I look since well...I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I LOOKED. I kept trying to find a mirror anywhere. What if I looked like a slut? And Riley was gonna see me like this? Everyone was going to see me like this.
When we entered the lobby, Logan took my arm and whispered very briefly and very suddenly, "Stop fidgeting. You look great."
And for some reason it not only vaporized any doubts I had about my appearance, but also made me feel good about it.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 13; Rodri-go.

2010-07-29T15:02:00.000+08:00

I was standing at a brick-red pavement, snow gathered at my shoulder and fiery-red hair. Tears were glazed on my face. A black haired man and a red haired woman were standing in front of me. I realized with some sort of pang that they were my parents.
My mom hugged me, trying to give me as much strength as possible, her tears streaked my hair, while my dad patted my shoulder, silently.
"Please..." I wasn't sure why or what exactly I was begging for, but I knew...that they had to stay.
"We'll be back before you know it..." My mom said, pulling away from me, but my hand was grabbing desperately for her long, black trench coat.
Then they disappeared...
I awoke with a jolt. It was a dream, all a dream. I was back in my room, safely snuggled in my cream blanket. My parents were still here. They had to be.
The door to my bathroom creaked open and...Logan walked out, clad in a white towel, his wet hair indicating he had just showered. And his appearance indicating that it wasn't a dream.
"You're awake," he observed.
"Yeah," I said, because I didn't know what else to say. "Yeah, I am" I repeated, because I was finally coming to terms with the reality: my parents left.
I looked at Logan, his upper half was exposed, displaying a very taut body. I looked away, warmth creeping up my neck.
"Are you okay?" he asked, walking towards the bed. He pulled the black business chair from my organized desk to face the side of the bed. It seemed like he was visiting a patient. He smelled like his regular self, the Victoria Secret scent was gone. His blue eyes were staring into my green ones. I inched further away. He seemed to notice my discomfort at his bareness, and of course, fed on that. He leaned closer in, an evil smile playing at his lips.
"F-fine," I stammered, going further and further away. I could feel the edge of the bed and panicked.
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
"P-p-put on a shirt!" I ordered, but it came out lamely because of my stammer. His smile widened as he leaned further in and I, in all my nervousness, fell off the bed.
Logan roared with laughter, clutching his toned stomach. I threw one of my white pillows at him and he halted.
"PUT ON A SHIRT!" I bellowed, throwing another one.
He put two hand up in surrender. "Alright. I know how much this-" he indicated his unclothed upper half "-makes you nervous."
I scoffed, "Like there's anything to see."
He struggled for words, reminding me of a fish struggling for air on land. "Yeah...well...so?"
I stared scathingly at him.
He reached for the black bag on top of my writing desk, unzipped it and produced a black polo shirt with the symbol of a red horse emblazoned on the left side of the chest. He precariously put it on. "There. Happy?" Then, without waiting for my unneeded answer, he took the black bag and headed inside the bathroom.
"By the way, you're gonna go shopping with the girls today," he added, casually, over the door.
"What, why?"
"Because your dresses are what Sienna would say, 'Sooooo last season'" he said, putting on his best imitation of Sienna. "I don't want my date to be criticized for lack of taste."
"I don't care," I answered, already rifling through my dresses.
"Well, I do," he retorted. He was, thankfully, fully clothed when he came out. "They'll think 'What's going on with Logan? Has he lost his touch?' I haven't lost my touch."
I pulled out a white ruffled dress that ended just below my knees. "This is nice."
"If you were getting married."
"It does not look like a wedding dress!"
He sighed, exasperated.
I put back the dress and pulled out a long maroon dress with short sleeves. "This is pretty!"
He grimaced. "Becky, it leaves everything to the imagination. You think us guys like that?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot you preferred sluts who bare everything," I snapped.
"Well, not everything."
"Forget it, then! I'm not going! I don't even like your friends. They're mean and they like to pull pranks on each--"
"Surely we aren't that mean?" Sienna's silky voice said, as she opened the white door, Tia and Nicole standing behind her. Tia's bored expression neutralized Nicole's over-eager ones.
I stared unblinking at the three intimidating figures that were towering over me. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes or pinched my forearms, they were still there. And they heard what I said.
"Wh-what's going on?" I asked, flopping down on my unmade bed. Logan was grinning from ear to ear, pleased at my confusion.
"Well, we're supposed to go shopping," Sienna answered, looking around my room like it was infested. "But...I doubt you'd wanna go shopping with someone as evil as us."
"She didn't mean it," Nicole piped up, looking around the room with an awed and amused expression. "And we were being mean."
"We were testing her, Nic," Sienna retorted, her eyes ablaze.
"Well, isn't this cozy," Logan said, gathering his things and turning to the door. "I better go. The guys are waiting for me. Have fun."
I just managed to glimpse an evil grin before he left.
"Can I ask you a question? You're rich right? So why...do you live like this?" She looked around the room and grimaced.
Before I even had the chance to give her a scalding retort, however, Tia interrupted, "Because her parents are conservative." Tia was examining a photo on my bedside table. "I recognized your parents. They went to every fundraiser my parents threw. They're in Africa right?"
I nodded stiffly.
"Yeah, okay," Sienna said, suppressing a yawn. She turned to Nicole who was staring in amusement at my book shelf. "Can we leave now? It's obvious she doesn't want to go."
Nicole turned sharply from the shelf and looked straight at me. "No! Rebecca, you want to go shopping with us, right? You do, right?"
Her expression was a mixture of hopefulness and excitement that I felt really guilty when I declined.
She sighed sadly and gave me a look of pity. "Sienna, plan B."
Tia and Sienna shot her a look of disbelief in unison. Apparently, she had never resorted to plan B. I stared at the three of them warily. It had to be bad...whatever it was.
"Wha--are you sure?" Sienna choked, scrutinizing Nicole. It had to be bad if Sienna, the Queen B, had to check if Nicole was serious.
"Yes. Do it."
"Wh-what are you guys gonna do?" I asked, backing away slowly, only to be met with the creamy walls.
"Rodrigo!" Sienna called, still shooting Nicole a look of amusement.
The guy named Rodrigo stepped into the room. He was four times my size and his head was on the same level as my shelf. Dark glasses covered his eyes and he was clad in a smart tuxedo that had no creases present.
"Her," Nicole said, pointing straight at me.
He advanced, his face betraying no emotion. He was going to kill me. They were going to kill me because...I didn't go shopping with them? Well, who knew what these people were capable of.
I shut my eyes, trapped between my bed and the wall. Just make it quick...
A beefy arm slid around my waist and before I knew it I was hoisted off the ground and was dangling on his wide shoulder. He was going to throw me off the balcony!
"Please don't kill me!" I yelled. "I'll go shopping with you! Please!"
There was a moment of silence, which was broken by...peels of laughter. The three girls were howling and wiping tears from their eyes.
"Kill you?" Sienna said, shaking her ginger head. "My, my, you do have an avid imagination."
"But then...what?" I asked. Looking up with much difficulty.
Tia tutted and said, "Rodrigo, the car."
I gulped, but didn't say a word. Rodrigo went out of the room, down the carpeted stairs and out into the bright sunny yard. There was the sound of car door opening and I was forced inside. Tia and Nicole sat on either side of me, Sienna sat in front of me. I was in a limousine.
"Rodrigo, Barney's," Sienna ordered, before closing the dark window between the driver and the backseat passengers.
"Make-over!" Nicole announced excitedly.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 12; Robot.

2010-07-26T17:59:00.000+08:00

Saturday came in the form of a light drizzle and a darkening sky, which had the effect of making the whole school look despairing and ominous.
I smiled, relishing at the thought that I wouldn't be here. For the first time, in months, I was going to go home. I was going to walk through the mahogany doors of the two-story house and smell the forgotten scent of a home-cooked meal, the glorious scent of whichever flower adorned the vase at the kitchen, my parents...
It's been such a long time since I've gone back. And I pondered at the ridiculousness of my reason: to find a dress for Chace's party.
Something heavy occurred at the pit of my stomach, and stayed. It wasn't the usual fluttering sensation I felt when I saw Riley, but it was gradually getting bigger and it was very discomforting. I ignored it and grabbed my white totebag. I glanced at the sleeping figure of Nat.
We hadn't talked at all since she told me she liked someone. I guess it was partly my fault that we never had time to talk, but for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to hear her say what I guessed: she liked Logan.
I'll talk to her after the party, I promised. How did she feel about Logan taking me? I wonder.
Cold droplets of water splashed on my head and I immediately reacted by shielding myself with my totebag. It wasn't a long way to the gate, so I didn't bother getting an umbrella.
I made a run for it, my feet occasionally slipping and sliding over the wet ground. I could feel the rain seeping into my skin-colored pumps, and making my white t-shirt translucent.
The yellow cab I had called for yesterday was parked outside the school's wrought iron gates. The driver, a dark balding man, was leaning against the car, one arm holding an umbrella, and the other nursing a cigarette. He looked around impatiently, waiting for a customer that might not even come...
"WAIT!" I yelled as the taxi driver ominously went into the bright yellow taxi. He had failed to hear me over the pounding rain. "WAIT!" I ran as fast as I could without slipping on the puddles that were rapidly forming. Then, with a roar and a splash of water, the yellow taxi disappeared, leaving me wet, tired and aching. It wasn't until I had stopped running that I realized my ankle was swollen. I whipped out my cell phone, sheltering it with my free arm, intent on calling another taxi. Then, all of a sudden, the cold droplet of water had subsided, angrily coming in contact with a black umbrella belonging to none other than, Logan. He smiled, looking utterly messy and untidy. His blonde hair stuck up at all sides, more so than usual. His white dress shirt was wrongly buttoned, so that their lengths were uneven. And his dinner jacket was sprawled over his shoulder.
"Didn't your mom even tell you never to play in the rain?" He smelled faintly of alcohol and...the familiar smell of Victoria's Secret body lotion.
"Out from another one of your one-night stands?" I asked, surprised that I had to restrain from yelling. I didn't even know why I even wanted to do so.
He winked. "Model. Brazilian."
"Manwhore," I hissed, leaving the dry refuge and staggering over to my dorm. A piercing pain shot through my ankle and I was forced to slow down, which inevitably made Logan catch up.
"If I didn't know better, I would've said you were jealous," he teased. I kept quite, believing silence to be more painful than words. "So, where are you headed off to?" he asked, as means of breaking the awkward silence. "I heard you screaming the whole school down."
"Home," I answered, stonily.
"Why?"
"To get my dress."
"But you missed your cab?"
"Oh no, of course not. That's why I'm out here in the rain," I shot him a scathing look, the smell of his latest conquest made me want to gag.
"I can give you a ride," he offered. I had a sneaking suspicion he was somehow trying to make amends. And when he didn't try to find an excuse of why he was being nice, I had forgotten why I was mad.
"Why are you being so nice?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Because it'll take a long time for a cab to get here and then you have to dress up and do what it is girls do, and....I just don't want to be late."
Oh there it was. But I had to admit that he did have a point about the cab so I said, begrudgingly, "Where's your car?"
He hitched a thumb over his shoulder.

The rain had subsided once more into a light drizzle.
Logan's sleek black Bentley was gorgeous. A car, people with frugal parents like me, could only dream of having. No doubt he loved it, because he winced when I wet the cream-coloured leather seats. But since I couldn't dry myself without taking off my shirt(and that was never going to happen) he didn't object.
He took something from the backseat and threw it precariously on my face. I shot him a scathing look but backpedaled quickly as I realized that it was a thick maroon hoodie with the school's emblem on it. It had Logan's familiar scent: vanilla and, I realized, the car's leather smell.
"Thanks," I said, shivering in delight as I put on the warm jacket.
He grunted something inaudible before reversing out of the parking spot.
"So, where to?" he asked, after exiting the school's gate and giving the security guard a playful salute.
"Turn left and go straight ahead until you reach the first traffic light. Then turn right and go straight, make another left at the second--"
"Whoa there, one step at a time," he said, "What are we, racing?"
"Sorry, I'm just....excited." That was putting it mildly. My heart was beating erratically as I thought of the house I had left nearly two years ago.
"Haven't been home in a while?" he guessed, slowing down as the traffic light turned a neon yellow. "I make a right, right?"
I laughed at his grammatically correct yet hilarious repetition, despite myself. Logan seemed to realize what he just said and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe I was laughing at such a ridiculous thing.
"Yeah, turn right," I said, after regaining back my sanity. "And no, I haven't been home. I guess...I just couldn't bring myself to look at the house and see that my parents...were you know, not there. They went to Africa," I explained, because he seemed to think that they were dead. "To help children in need."
Logan nodded. "You don't sound at all bitter."
"Well....it was...selfish of them, considering the fact that I'm still young, but...I know they love me. And I guess, that eases the pain, a little." The only person I ever told that to was Nat, and he seemed to realize that I didn't mean to say more than what I intended because he changed the subject.
"Where do I go next?" he asked.
"Um, turn left at the second intersection and go straight until you see a bridge, then make a right. You mind if I turn on the radio?" I had switched it on before he even said replied.
"Oh by all means just turn it on," he said, but made no move to switch it off.
I realized that I recognized the lyrics to the upbeat song. Some people thick they're always right, others are quiet and uptight...
"The Strokes," I said. "So you do have good taste in something."
He glanced at me at the corner of his eyes. "You know The Strokes?"
"Mmhmmm," I answered.
"You're probably the only girl who does."
"And you're probably the only guy who thinks that," I retorted. "Nat likes them, too."
I looked at his face for any significant reaction, but he merely smirked. "Well, what do you know."
The song changed to more slow and soothing song which I realised to be....
"Fix You," I said, "Coldplay."
"Too easy," he said and pressed the button with the arrow shape symbol on it. He pressed it twice and a slow song that always reminded me of a tiger prowling, waiting to pounce sounded.
I snorted. "Really? Fire. Kasabian."
"Wow."
I smiled at his reaction, and smiled even wider when I saw a familiar white house...
"That's it!" I cried, already unbuckling my belt. "That's my house!"
"Alright, alright, control yourself," he said, but betrayed a soft chuckle nonetheless.
As soon as he parked in front of the tall gates, I got out as fast as a rocket, probably faster. I dug around my totebag for the keys and unlocked it barely containing my excitement. Home, I was home.
I reached the double-door made purely of mahogany and unlocked it with another key. I pushed open the door, a smile on my face...
It was empty.
Yes, there were still the white recliner my dad loved so much, and all the furniture were still there. But in front of me, the vase only contained wilting roses. The framed that adorned the walls of the stairs were accompanied by dust. There was no aroma of a home-cooked meal.
The place was desolate, cold, empty...
"So this is what it looks like," Logan said, looking around.
He seemed to realise that I was rooted to the spot and guessed that there was something wrong with me because he asked, "Are you okay?"
He bent down and looked me in the eyes, his hands on my shoulders. That something inside me broke and the heavy sensation at the bottom of my stomach was released. They were gone. They were gone. My parents left me. They left me...
"Hey don't cry," Logan soothed, one arm on my shoulder, the other stroking the back of my head. "They didn't leave you."
My knees buckled and I knelt on the cold marbled floors, not realizing until now that tears were rolling down my cheeks, forming a puddle on the floor...
Then Logan knelt down beside me and pulled me closer, I sobbed, soaking his white dress shirt. I couldn't control it, I couldn't stop, and I did realize how embarrassing this situation was, but stronger than my embarrassment was the hurt I managed to never uncover until now: abandonment.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 11; Cosmic Love.

2010-07-23T08:22:00.000+08:00

I was so elated when I walked out of the theater, I didn't realise that Logan had fallen into step with me until he casually wrapped his arm around my shoulder. An action that had caused me to jump.
"How was it?" he asked, smiling and cocking his head to numerous people. He had changed from his navy lacrosse uniform and was now wearing the school's white dress shirt and navy trousers.
"Fine," I answered, casually, even though my mind was already analyzing and replaying everything Riley had said. "It was, you know, okay."
He stopped in his tracks and regarded me for the first time that day. His baby blue eyes scrutinized my poker face, and, after a while, he finally said, "Liar."
"Okay," I said, trying to control my intense emotions that were threatening to spill over. But failed. "He talked to me first and he asked me to audition for his love interest in the drama and we had this weird eye battle where we just stared at each other and oh my god I think I like him." The words tumbled out before I could stop it and I blushed furiously at the fact that I had sounded like a love sick bimbo. "I mean, it went well."
At first, I thought Logan was analysing the situation as well, but apparently he was just trying to refrain from laughing because moments later he exploded into peels of laughter.
"It's not funny!" I snapped, which made him laugh even harder, of course.
"You-sound-so-in-love." I gave him a scathing look that made him straighten up. "Sorry. Anyway, by the looks of it, I'm pretty sure he likes you too." A smiled jumped to my lips, which I hastily removed.
"I think he wanted Savannah to audition for the role though."
"Then you're just gonna have to work harder to make sure he doesn't. Oh and, the girls wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go shopping with them."
My body shook as the three intimidating girls of Logan's elite circle flashed in my mind. The last time we met, it had ended on a sour note. No doubt this was just to get me alone so they could get their revenge.
"Maybe another time," I answered.
"So you've got a dress then?" He asked.
"For what?"
"For Chace's party!" Logan looked at me with the face equivalent to that of a kid refused of candy.
"I don't want to go," I answered simply.
"Don't be ridiculous. If you don't go, then I won't have a date."
"Just find someone else! I know you have a billion girls on speed dial." Even though it was supposed to sound hurtful, the only person who looked hurt....was, inexplicably, me.
"In case you forgot, we're sort of dating. How would it look like if I brought another girl to the party?" He whispered the last line because at that moment a gaggle of freshmen girls walked past us, ogling at Logan and sending me awed looks.
"Everyone knows you're a player," I said, yet again attempting to hurt him, but he just plowed on.
"I don't like cheating on my girlfriends," he said.
"What are you talking about? You hooked up with that Mexican or whatever girl last week."
"Discreetly."
"Whatever!" I snapped. "Just go alone."
I turned on my heels and was two steps away from him when he said, "Riley's gonna be there."
And though I hated myself for it, and though it made Logan smile, I said, "When's the party?"

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 10; O-men.

2010-07-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

I paced around the girl's bathroom, ignoring the confused looks I got from the girls who had entered. I had changed half an hour ago to my Theater Club t-shirt and jeans and had been wringing my hands since. Then, with much force, I stopped myself and stared intently at my reflection. Even though Logan had told me to let my hair loose, I had decided to tie my hair in a ponytail. But maybe Riley liked girls who let their hair down. Maybe he liked girls who seemed laid back and relaxed. What kind of girls did he like anyway?
No, stop!
I took a deep breath and said to myself, my motto for the year, "He's human too."
A few girls stared at me, apparently confirming their theory that I was crazy. I was so nervous I didn't pay them any attention and just exited the girl's bathroom and walked on towards the auditorium.
Cold air hit me in the face as I entered the double doors. A few people were already there, milling around busily. But, fortunately, the drama teacher was absent, meaning I wasn't that late. My eyes scanned the auditorium for a familiar red-haired boy...
And then I saw him. His head bent towards Savannah as he read something on her clipboard. My hatred for her intensified. I took a deep breath as I recalled Logan's advice, "Just go about your business and ignore him."
I didn't know how this was supposed to help, since the aim for this whole thing was to get me to talk to him, not ignore him. But I knew better than to retaliate, so I did what I was told; I passed by the two huddled heads towards the hectic backstage. A few minutes after, the curtain was drawn, revealing an exhausted looking Savannah. I felt, I'm ashamed to admit, a wee bit satisfied. But felt immediately guilty as the feeling occurred.
"Rebecca!" she called, as her blue eyes found mine, "I need you to help Mike with the stage lights." Mike was our lanky tech guy, who was most known for his uncontrollably curly mahogany hair. "You know, just check if the lights are too strong or vice verse," Savannah explained as we walked towards the stage, where Riley was most visible, his mouth moving rapidly as he memorized his lines. "Just give him the thumbs up if it's okay."
I nodded, glancing away from Riley to the top most box at the opposite side, where Mike gave me a two thumbs up. I mimicked his action and Mike immediately bent his head down. Then, all of a sudden, a blinding white light exploded from the side of the stage. My eyes adjusted to the lights and though a bead of sweat trickled down my bare neck, I gave Mike a thumbs up. He smiled and bent his head again. The lights were gone.
I chanced a glance at Riley, and saw that he was rehearsing with Savannah. The female protagonist of the play had been forced to drop out because of her grades. Meaning... could Savannah be the replacement? My stomach churned and I suddenly felt sick at the possibility that Savannah and Riley might kiss. But a feeling stronger than jealousy filled my being as an overwhelming light hit me straight in the face. So great was the brightness, that my eyes were mere slits and my shirt stuck to my back as beads of sweat rolled down my back. I gave Mike a thumbs down, hoping that he'd understand that to be too bright and too weak.
Fortunately, he did, and I felt the light get satisfyingly dimmer. I gave him the thumbs up as I felt the light get adjusted to the right brightness. Mike mouthed the word 'sorry' and bent his head again. The lights were gone.
I fanned myself vehemently with my hand, feeling content with the little air was getting.
"Feeling hot?" a voice asked.
It was all I could do not to jump as I saw Riley, smiling nervously. He was carrying two red Cokes.
In my head, a voice spoke up which I realised to be Logan's. Don't be over-excited but don't be too aloof, either. Try to find a balance between those two. And stop being rigid.
I loosened up and attempted a smile, whicch I hoped worked because I felt utterly numb. "Pretty much." I scanned the auditorium for Savannah, but she was nowhere to be found. I looked up and saw that Mike was still fumbling with the switches so I turned my attention back to Riley, who was offering me a can of Coke. "Want one?"
I smiled gratefully and took it, my fingers brushing his for one second. The hairs on my back stood up. "Thanks," I said, feeling the wet can cool my skin. "Where's Savannah?"
"Toilet," he replied and took a sip of his Coke. I did the same and felt immediately revived. "Are you gonna try out for the role?"
"What role?"
"For the lead character," he answered, after another sip. "You know Sierra dropped out, right? And her under study moved to Alaska just last month."
My whole body felt tingly, starting from my toes to my head. Riley was asking me....to audition for the female role. Opposite him. Meaning he wanted me to be his love interest. Don't grin, dummy, Logan's voice snapped. I shook my head and regained my composure but the tingling feeling was still there.
"Yeah, but I thought Savannah was the replacement?" I asked, trying to sound more relaxed than I felt.
"What?" His eyebrows shot up. "No. She was just helping me with some lines. Savannah's really busy these days." The way he said it made it seemed like if she wasn't busy, he would very much preferred her to act alongside him. The tingling feeling disappeared in an instant.
"How unfortunate," I said, disappointed. I glanced up at Mike and saw that he was munching on his sandwich. He gave me a grin and held up his hand as if to say 'hold on'.
I turned back to Riley who seemed to guess the shift in my mood because he put his free hand on my shoulder(my body felt like it was going to explode), "Say you'll try out?" There was a smile playing at his lips and his eyes danced teasingly.
My whole body froze and it wasn't only until Logan's voice screamed 'answer him! do something!' that I was mobile again. "We'll see." Even though I knew there was no way in hell I was auditioning for that role.
We stood like that for a while, his hand on my shoulder, my hands at my side and our eyes searching each other.
Tell him to go.
No.
Do it. Now.
No!
NOW!
Suppressing a groan, I shrugged off his arm lightly. "You should go. You probably have a lot of lines to memorize and I have a lot of lights to...you know, check."
"Oh-right, yeah, I should. See you." He smiled before jumping off the stage.
I glanced at Mike who was waiting for my signal. I gave him the two thumbs up and felt an intense bright light erupt from above as I stole a glance at Riley, who was staring back at me. I blushed...and it had nothing to do with the heat blast, either.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 9; Crush-ed.

2010-06-20T16:54:00.000+08:00

"Feeling better?" Nat asked, glancing at me through the reflection in the mirror. I nodded weakly and got out of bed. Skipping school to rest, was a good decision, I thought. My throat didn't feel like it was filled with gruff sand and my nose could inhale air without feeling a piercing pain anymore.
I pulled my navy uniform vest over my head, as Nat made a feeble attempt at taming her fiery red hair into a ponytail.
"Let's go," she said after a while, apparently giving up her effort in refining her hair.
"What's the occasion?" I asked, as we exited our dorm and stepped out, only to be welcomed by the chilling wind.
"What do you mean?"
"You've never tried to tie your hair before," I observed, scrutinizing her for any signs of change. But she seemed perfectly fine. "I mean, you know disturbing your hair is suicidal."
"I like to change every now and then," she replied.
"This coming from the girl who used the same pencil case since she was in elementary school."
Nat opened her mouth to argue, but evidently couldn't find any retort good enough so she shut it back again. "Fine, I tried to look nice."
"But you always look nice." Which was true. Nat, even though she rarely makes an effort, always looked terrific in an understated way. I explained this to her as we entered the main building with a quarter of an hour left to spare.
"You're being biased," she said, but I noticed that two pink spots appeared on either side of her cheeks.
"So, why make an effort now?"
The pink spots on Nat's cheeks turned scarlet red and she hid her face inside her locker. I stared, open-mouthed at her reaction. There was only one explanation....
"You like someone!" I said, jumping in glee. "You like--"
"Okay, okay, I do," Nat admitted, covering my babbling mouth with her hand. I beamed as I discerned the fact that not only were her cheeks red, but her whole face was too.
"Fu eef it?"
"What?" Nat's face scrunched up in confusion at my muffled inquiry of who she liked.
"I asked," I pulled her hand away from my mouth, "the identity of the guy you developed an undying crush for."
Her face turned redder. At first, I thought it was because of my teasing, but I noticed that her eyes were staring behind me. I followed her gaze, eager to find the guy whom she liked. And saw, with the shock equivalent to that of a child being told Santa wasn't real, Logan sauntering over to us, looking, somehow, murderous.
"Where were you?" He asked, clenching his jaw.
"I was sick," I answered, absent-mindedly. Nat liked Logan? No...it couldn't be. But...her face... I turned to get a second look at her expression, but she looked normal. Her face turned from a red tomato back to her fair complexion.
"I've to go," Nat said, "See you at lunch."
She smiled at me before sprinting to her next class. I glanced at my watch and realised I only had 5 minutes to get to the chemistry laboratory.
"At least tell me what happened to you if you're not gonna come to school," Logan scolded, walking beside me to the lab. "I just don't know what to tell your friends when they ask," he added hastily, not wanting me to get the wrong impression.
I snorted. "You don't have to tell me twice," I mumbled but my mind was still on Nat. Why was it that I was somehow disturbed by the thought that she harbored a secret crush on him?
"You alright?" he asked, taking my file away from me as habit.
"What?" I said, looking up at him. For a milli-second I thought I saw worried etched on his face. But I knew it was just my imagination as it was gone the next second.
"I mean...are you nervous for today?"
"What do you mean?" We stopped in front of the lab, a couple of girls stared at Logan before entering their class.
"Today's the day we've been working towards," he explained, "The day you meet Riley."
"Oh, right." Funnily enough, I had completely forgotten owing to the fact that I wasn't feeling well.
"You'll do fine," he said, misinterpreting my silence for nerves. "I mean, I don't think Riley's all that. You'll do."
I rolled my eyes at him and snatched my file from his grasp before slamming the laboratory door in his face.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 8: Stay.

2010-05-29T08:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up earlier than I expected on this particular Tuesday morning. Because Nat was my roommate, I was forced to whine mentally of how unfortunate it was that I couldn't go back to sleep.
It's fine, I had biology homework I had to finish anyway.

The sky was dark blue when I stepped out of my snore-filled dorm, and I took a moment to absorb the peaceful silence that was normally absent whenever I walked out.
Okay, fine, it was eerie. Thankfully though, a bunch of students were also awake, and were inexplicably energetic as well. I tightened my grip around my biology workbook and walked towards the main building.

This was nice.
I finally had the time to eat breakfast(Honey Stars!). Actually, I had all the time in the world, seeing as how it was only 6.30.
As I was busily munching on a spoonful of sweet yellow star-shaped cereal, and pondering for the answer for the sixth question, Logan slipped into the seat opposite mine. I knew it was him because of his distinct cologne. And when I didn't make any effort to entertain him, he cleared his throat. Still focusing on my workbook, I plugged my earpiece firmly to my ears, and pressed the play button on my iPod. Loud, deafening music blasted through, and I smiled, pleased with my little sanctuary. And the fact that I could ignore Logan.
He abruptly left and I smiled with pleasure. It wasn't that I was trying to avoid him...well, in a way, I was, but I mean come on, I had already missed a lesson of biology, I was NOT going to mess this little self-tutoring.
And then, unsurprisingly, he came back, slamming his tray deliberately on the table. This time, he sat next to me, making it increasingly hard for me to ignore his presence.
The current song had a break, long enough for me to hear his incredulous scoff. And then, all of a sudden, he unplugged the earpiece and I was forced to tolerate his existence.
"Morning," he greeted.
Not looking up from my biology questions I mumbled a 'good morning' in reply.
"Are you just gonna ignore me?" he asked. Even without looking, I could tell he was pouting. And when I looked up, what do you know! He was pouting.
"Yes," I answered, with a smile. Then I turned my attention back to my workbook.
He seemed to have given up then, but I knew it was just the calm before the irritating storm.
And boy was I right.
When I was nearly finished with my tenth question, he finally broke his temporary silence by asking something inaudible.
"What?" I asked, unplugging my earpiece and again, turning my attention to him.
"I said, 'why didn't you do anything when those girls pushed you in the pool?'" His bowl of cereal was empty save for a chocolate turned puddle of milk, and a half empty orange juice. He was now attacking the chocolate pudding, his body angled towards mine, awaiting my answer.
"Because it wasn't their fault," I answered, easily. "They're only human. Of course they would feel jealous. I'm guessing you ended things badly with one of them. Or perhaps, all of them?"
"Not true!" Logan protested, his eyes bulging in anger at my statement. "It wasn't my fault." For a minute there, I honestly thought he was going to deny the fact that he had dated all three of those bestfriends. And then I was once again forced to remember who he was. "I mean yeah, things did end badly, but I mean--"
"Admit you're guilty, already," I growled, staring sadly at the last question. So close yet so far.
Logan scoffed at my request, as he scraped the last of his chocolate pudding. "They knew what they were getting into. The answer's prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells by the way."
"I know that," I answered, agitatedly. Okay, I didn't. But I wasn't going to lose to him so I kept my best poker face and wrote the answer down. "Why are you here anyway?"
"What do you mean?"
"There's no one here, so why pretend like we're dating?" I asked, standing up and gathering my things. Sleepy looking students filled the desolate cafeteria, and shot me a sympathetic look after yesterday's incident. Oh now you feel sorry for me?
"I like talking to you," he answered, with a smile.
I snorted, "No, really."
"Fine, I went out with this Slovakian chick last night," he confessed, "It ended really late but I didn't want to miss school so I drank a couple of Redbulls and I just couldn't sleep. So then I saw you walk out of your dorm and decided to join you."
"Wow, I never thought you'd actually sacrifice being a nocturnal animal so that you didn't have to miss school."
"Of course. How else am I going to hit on Caddie Evans?" he asked, smiling devilishly. To which I smacked his head with my thick biology workbook.
"Manwhore." I clucked my tongue disapprovingly at him. And, to his credit, he blushed. Looks like he did know what shame was. "Need I remind you that we're dating? Isn't that going to cause suspicions?"
"I'll be discreet," he said. His baby blue eyes wandered over my head and I followed his gaze to his two friends. "Gotta run. See you later."
Believe me, I would've snorted in disbelief at the fact that he had just ditched me. But then I thought about it and it kinda made sense. It wasn't like we were friends, right? And thankfully, Nat bounded up to me, her red hair bouncing like a playful fire, to save me from the pathetic image of a loner.

As I walked out of my Physics class, I realized that I had sneezed more than I could remember for the past three lessons. And every time I talked, it seemed as if I was trying to be sexy.
Try as I might to deny it, I had the flu.
I rushed to my locker like a bullet when I realized that liquid was uncontrollably running down my nose. But even as I ransacked my locker, I couldn't find my tissue. Sniffing like a dog on the loose, I made my way to the bathroom...only to collide with Logan. Yeah, who else?
"Hello, bulldog," he said, grinning like the devil. Then again, maybe he was...
"No time for you. Need to find tissue," I snapped, turning my back on him. Then, he suddenly grabbed hold of my wrist and violently faced me to him.
Before I could appease my curiosity however, Logan roughly buried my face with tissue.
"Better?" he asked, wiping his hands on the side and grimacing as I audibly blew my nose. Yeah, excuse me for having low immune system.
"Much."
"Are you sick?" He genuinely looked concerned, but I didn't think much of it since...well since it was him.
"Probably."
"Don't you want to rest or something?"
"I already missed yesterday's biology lesson, missing another one would be suicidal."
And would you believe it? HE SIGHED. Yes, he sighed. Like a dejected kind. Boy, was he a good actor. Even as he relieved me of my books and bag.
"Don't come tomorrow, then," he ordered, as we walked to the cafeteria.
"I have a test tomorrow."
"Can't you sit for it some other time?"
"Yeah, I can."
"So you'll rest tomorrow?"
"No."
At that, he pointedly glared at me. He looked like a little boy who didn't get to buy his favourite toy. "Will you ever do as I say?"
"I look like this, don't I?" I don't know when I suddenly grew a rebellious streak, but I guess it's because of the fact that I had to obey Logan's command. And it wasn't easy either.
"Fine. Just don't overwork yourself."
She shoot, she scores.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 7: Wonder-fool.

2010-05-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

I have to say, even if I had predicted the fall, I was still pretty shocked that it actually happened.
That these seniors, these girls who were older than me, had actually shoved me in the icy pool. In front of people. Because of a guy.
And they were smirking as well. I didn't want to give them more reason to even feel satisfied, so I stood up, cold droplets of water dripping from my sides, stepped out of the pool and walked past them. The not-so-innocent bystanders watched my movements like I was some sort of guinea pig. As if I wasn't a human being freezing half to death. And I thought those girls were shocking. If there's even a single decent human being left in this materialistic world, please, show yourself.
I was about two metres away from the godawful scene, when suddenly, and as if listening to my desperate pleas, a warm coat covered my convulsing body. It was the school's jacket, which indicated that it was a Westchester student. I looked up and saw Riley.
My heart jumped in my throat and I just stood there gaping at him. It was really him. His red hair were like rubies glinting in the sun, and his face was contorted with worry. Worry? Was he really concerned?
"Are you okay?" he asked, slightly confirming my hopeful theory. "What am I asking, of course you're not. Come on, I'll take you back to your dorm."
"I'm f-f-fine," I stammered, both from the cold and from nervousness. Though at this point, it was more from freezing my ass off rather than having my crush within reach. Really. My chattering teeth was proof of that fact.
"No you're not. Those girls..." he looked really frustrated. As if he wanted to say something bad about them but couldn't. Hyperventilating...now. "...deserve to fail their exams."
I laughed hysterically(maybe it was the cold?) at his punishment for them. Which came off really funny because I was still shaking. His brows furrowed but they soon relaxed and he started to chuckle softly.
"Those girls must really like Logan, huh?" he asked, rubbing his hands together to achieve some sort of warmth. Yeah, imagine how I feel.
"I suppose," I answered.
"You seem okay with that," he joked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
Riley looked confused for a moment. "Oh...not the jealous type, are you? That's cool."
Huh? Oh, right. For a moment there, I forgot Logan was my 'boyfriend' and was therefore accountable for this incident. "Uh...yeah."
"Becca!" Speak of the devil. I turned around and saw Logan racing towards us. All I could think of was what a good actor he was. He really looked worried I was momentarily touched. And then I remembered who he was and stopped. "Are you alright? I just heard. What are you still doing outside, you should be in your room right now." He shifted his attention to Riley. "Hey, thanks for taking care of her, man."
"No problem," he answered. I wanted to punch Logan right then and there for ruining this once in a lifetime moment. I smiled, but honestly I wanted to smack him silly. "I'll get going now."
I handed him his jacket, hiding my sadness with my plastic smile. He took it and I felt disappointed that he didn't say, "keep it", like those moments in chick flick novels.
"See you soon." With a smile and a little wave, he sauntered off.
"I hate you," I growled at Logan as soon as Riley disappeared from sight. And to prove that I did, in fact, despise him, I shoved his jacket back into his arms, as if saying, "I'd rather die from pneumonia than wear your jacket".
He merely scoffed and laid the jacket over my body. I was secretly grateful but kept my expression cool. "Do you want to die just because you hate me? And I was doing that for your benefit, in case you didn't notice. Which, knowing how dense you are, you probably didn't."
"I AM NOT DENSE!"
"Could you keep it down? You sound like a megaphone," he said, wincing. I had to give him credit for lending me his jacket though. I mean it was absolutely freezing right now. "And yes, you are. If you weren't, you would've realized that by cutting your cute little conversation short, I'm making him want to talk to you more. And hence, will increase the chances of him striking up a conversation with you, first."
I had to admit that it was brilliant. But I managed a nonchalant shrug as I said, "I was just going to leave him, anyway."
He scoffed. "How did you become wet anyway? You really are careless, you know?"
"It wasn't my fault," I protested. Well not entirely. I did provoke them, but whatever. Logan smiled politely at the lady behind the campus' coffee stall and handed her his Starbucks card. She gave him two Starbucks coffee in return. He handed me one and I shivered in pleasure as my numb hands came in contact with the warm coffee. "As I was saying, it wasn't my fault. They were one of your conquests and hated me for being with you. So it's really your fault that I'm freezing my ass off right now."
"It's also my fault that you and Riley talked, as well, then?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
I was momentarily flabbergasted and Logan smiled in delight. "Are you saying that my possible pneumonia trumps talking to Riley? Are you suggesting that...because I get to have a five-minute conversation with Riley, that it's okay for me to die?"
Okay, that was an exaggeration, and I had to clamp my mouth shut from laughing. Logan noticed it too and simply rolled his eyes. "You really should audition for the lead role in your drama club, you know? You're an actress."
I stuck my tongue out, defiantly. It was pretty nice though, sitting here, shaded by this big tree, sipping coffee. If only Logan was replaced by...say, Riley?
"I heard you walked out of my friends."
"Yeah, sorry about that." I was really regretting that, actually. I guess I could've handled it better.
"For what?" he asked, throwing his empty coffee cup into the bin perfectly. "From what I heard, the girls were being rude. And I give you props for standing up to them. They do too, by the way but Sienna said if you did that again she'd make you regret it. She should audition for the drama club, too." He laughed to himself while I merely stared at him. "Well anyway, they commanded you on your honesty. In case you didn't know, Reed and Sam aren't real."
"Excuse me?"
"You didn't actually think they were, do you?" I kept staring at him and he exploded into fits of laughter. "My god, you're really gullible. There's no one in this school named Reed and Sam. Well, not one worth talking about anyway."
"Then...why did they...what?"
"Why did they ask you about Reed and Sam? For fun, I guess."
"I didn't know making someone feel embarrassed was entertainment."
"Well for us, it is. Don't take it to heart," Logan advised. "Anyway, Chace is warming up to you after your little outburst and you are therefore invited to his birthday party."
"I'll skip," I said, standing up. Honestly, I bet the only reason they invited me was to see how gullible I was.
"Riley's gonna be there."
My ears perked up which was really pathetic since...here I was, trying to be rebellious and just the mention of my crush made me stop in my tracks.
Logan caught up with me and asked, "So, are you in?"
"Oh what the hell."

Tinseltown Lies; 79; Memories

2010-05-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

James stared at the polished version of him in the mirror. Today was the day they officially made him the heir to Anderson empire. He could practically hear the comparisons these judgmental men were going to make about him and Alex. Stressed, he started to look for his cigarette but stopped himself when he remembered his vow to never drink, never smoke and never get high. He has been successful for...3 hours.
As he was battling with his inner strength, his maid knocked on the door, peeped inside and told him that there was somebody waiting for him downstairs.
He took off his jacket(it looked wrong, somehow) and went downstairs...to find Nina. The girl who uncovered all his insecurities and made him go obsessively crazy. The reason why he's been meticulous in the littlest things. The girl he would sacrifice everything for and do it all over again. The girl who his brother loved.
"Hi," she greeted, warily.
"Um, Alex isn't here..."
"Yeah, I know. He's having his interview with Princeton." There was a moment of awkward silence where both parties just stood there, not knowing what to say. "I...don't know why you did it. But thank you. Really."
He wanted to scream at her for being so ignorant but simply said, "I was the heir anyway. Um...do you want something to drink?" It was a question to discover if she was going to stay long or was simply here to thank him. It was the former.
"Yes, please." She walked past the flabbergasted James towards the kitchen. He took a deep breath and followed her. He kept his back to her as he searched agonizingly slow for the cups.
"James."
The mere mention of his name stopped him. And he turned to her.
"You've changed a lot," she stated, smiling as she said so. She stood up from the wooden stool and walked over to him. He stood rigidly. "James..."
He gulped, "Y-yeah?"
"Thank you," she repeated. But the look in her eyes said it all. She knew. Knew that he did it for her. Knew that he loved her. Which means...he lost. And somehow, even after that outright rejection...he felt...okay. Because he knew it was something he had to do. That was how much he owed Alex and Nina. And it was also how much he loved her.

Ash stared at the double doors leading to the school's auditorium. For a moment she just stared at it. The auditorium was where she first started to act in her first drama. It was where her and Matt's love started to blossom. It's also where Matt wanted to meet her.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed it open and found Matt sitting at the edge of the stage, his long legs dangling. She made her way from the dark seats to the bright stage where he watched her every move. She used to to have a tingle whenever he even glanced at her, and now...she barely felt a thing.
"What's up?" she asked, sitting next to him on the wooden stage. In a few months she was going to perform at a bigger stage with brighter lights and probably prettier dresses.
"I've been thinking a lot lately."
"That's new," she quipped. He smiled halfheartedly reinforcing the thought that this was going to be serious. Her stomach twisted in nervousness.
"I miss you."
"Oh."
He took hold of her hand. And she just let him, because she knew what was coming and he wasn't going to like what she was going to say.
"Let's give it another shot."
"Uh?"
"Let's try again, Ash."
"What are you...saying?" Lie. She knew exactly what he was saying, but was just trying to stall for time. Trying to delay the heartbreaking rejection.
"I'm saying...let's...start fresh. I'm saying let's be together. I'm saying...begging...for you to give me another chance."
She kept silent and the only thing they could hear were each others beating hearts and deep breaths. "I...no."
"Ash--"
"Matt, please," she said, softly. "How many times have we gone this road? We break up, we make up, break up again. Enough's enough, Matt. You don't love me, you're scared to move on to something unknown. But you have to. Do you understand?"
He kept quite, staring intently at the auditorium doors. "I love you."
"You loved me. It's time to move on. I hear you're going to Brown?" She smiled at him, though his face remained deadpanned.
After a long while, he stood up and uncreased his jeans. "Actually, I got accepted to Julliard. I guess I'll be seeing you next year."
Ash stared guffawed as Matt jumped off the stage and disappeared in the dark isles.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 6: Jea-lust.

2010-04-30T05:44:00.001+08:00

The lessons were all...surprisingly good today.
It was nerve-wrecking when I took Logan's advice about speaking up in class instead of mumbling the answer inaudibly(I've no idea how he knows about that), but then I started to feel more confident and comfortable answering them when I kept getting all of them correct. Hehe.
I was acutely aware of how many people were staring at me(probably wondering why they didn't seem to notice me before) and I was even surprised when some girls in my French class, who always treated me like I was invisible, said, in a friendly tone, hi. I replied hi back and excused myself, not because I was aloof, but because I didn't want to be late for English.
I was smiling to myself as I walked out of my English literature class, lugging around my think textbooks. To my relief but utter shock, Logan relieved me of that burden.
He whispered that this was purely for his image of being a good boyfriend and ordered me not to think much of it. As if I was ever going to. I beamed like a love-struck girlfriend(as was my role)...at least, I hope I did. How do you beam like a love-struck girlfriend anyway?
"How was class?" he asked.
My brows furrowed as I processed this inquiry. Then I realized he was doing this for his image and answered a curt reply, "It was fine."
He scoffed. "'It was fine'? That's what you're gonna say to Riley then? We have a long way to go."
I scoffed back. "That's because you aren't Riley."
"And if I was?"
"I'd give him the blow by blow of my day," I answered, imagining the prospect of it. But answering questions in front of lots of people and answering Riley's question were two very different things.
"Wrong," Logan said, sighing. "You don't want to bore the guy. I told you that."
"I said, 'It was fine' and you scoffed at my response!"
"That's because you were too aloof. He'll interpret it as you not being interested in him."
We made our way in the cafeteria where all eyes(I'm not kidding!), landed on us and hushed discussions were brought forth. Logan seemed immune to all of it though(oh what a surprise) and steered me away from my usual table to his friends'.
"Uh no," I argued, tugging at my books, "I'm sitting with my friends." That was one of my self-promise to prevent me from becoming a mega-bitch.
"You sit with your friends a thousand times. Get to know mine and I'll get to know yours, understand?" There it was again! That condescending tone he used whenever he wanted to get his message across. He did that to Jenny last time.
"No--"
"You promised to do what I say."
Biting back my venomous response I spat, "I hate you," and took a seat next to the window. Logan sat next to me and casually put his right arm around me. I sat up straighter to avoid his contact. His friends shot us curious looks.
His friends were:
Trent Ridgeway.
He had dark curly hair that was so stark in contrast to his fair complexion. He had mossy green eyes that was irritatingly covered by his front hair. Which is probably why he kept cocking his head. At first, I thought he was one of those deep, poetic type(he sure looked the part ie, angular features) but then he gave me a friendly smile and I knew he was nothing like the type.
Chace Rolof.
He was a bit easier to figure out. Everything about him screamed 'playful'. He had sandy blonde hair that he kept unkempt like Logan and carefree blue eyes. He was constantly smiling, frowning only when his friends bullied him(in which case he would bully them back).
The girls at the table were intimidatingly beautiful and I could guess that they weren't lacking in the brains department either.
Nicole Williams.
She had wispy blonde hair that fell over her elvish face. She was innocent, plain and simple. And whenever her light blue eyes(or was it green?) fell on you, as if scrutinizing you, you just felt the need to tell her all of your secrets! I'm not kidding! I wanted to blurt out how much I liked Riley when she stared at me. But then she broke into a smile and the magic was gone. Thank god.
Tia Sedgewick.
She was the female version of Trent. Shehad the anemic look down and had a cynical edge. Her dark hair framed her angular face and emphasized her dark blue eyes. She...well, looked like a vampire. I mean, I could imagine her being a vampire. She gave me a brief smile before returning her attention to her book(Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy).
But even though Tia and Nicole were gorgeous, their beauty was a mere 7 compared to Sienna du Ville, who was, of course, a ten if not more.
Sienna had wavy chestnut hair and icy blue eyes. Ice Princess, that was the first thing that came to mind when I saw her. She gave me a brief smile, showing off her dimple and instantly gave me the once-over. I couldn't tell if she was satisfied by my physical appearance because her face remained stoic.
"You're pretty," Nicole complimented. Her face was so serious, I didn't know whether to thank her or laugh at her earnestness.
"Thank you." I smiled at her but she merely blinked and concentrated on her salad.
"Excuse Nicole," Chace said, laying an arm around her shoulder. "She doesn't know how to compliment people." Nicole shrunk lower in her seat. I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or simply from Chace's heavy arm around her. She blushed, confirming the former.
"Stop patronizing her, Rolof," Sienna said, barely glancing away from her Sidekick.
Chace snorted but did so, much to Nicole's relief.
"Reed and Sam are still going on?" Tia asked Sienna, who merely shrugged.
"After what he's put up with her, I'm kinda surprised. What's your take on it, Rebecca?" Sienna asked, looking up from her Sidekick.
I really had no idea who Reed and Grant were. I was about to give a signal to Logan but he chose that moment to go to the toilet, thus abandoning me with these pack of wolves. Jerk.
"Well, I think...that Sam needs to treat Reed better and not...um..."
"Sam is a girl," Trent announced, deadpanned. Really?!
"Okay, I have no idea who Reed and Sam are. Sorry."
"How can you NOT?" Sienna asked, a baffled expression on her face. "What world do you live in?"
One that doesn't have Reed and Sam in it. "One that obviously doesn't match yours. So excuse me."
I was angry at the fact that they were trying to embarrass me. I mean, was I suppose to know everyone? Well excuse me, for not thriving off of people's lives. Someone said that when you're angry and deep in thought you don't realise your environment. Apparently I was at the school fountain and I had no idea how I got there.
I exhaled deeply and sat at the edge of the soothing fountain. Tracing lines along the surface, I failed to realize the three shadows that fell over me.
"Hey, you," a cool voice said.
I looked up and saw three tall and lithe girls. They smirked at me and ordered me to stand up. I did so, curiously.
"Are you the slutty sophomore who's dating Logan?" the girl in the middle asked, rudely, might I add. She gave me the once over and smirked.
I was angry, but I didn't want to get in a fight so I just walked away. The girl with a pink headband clamped her hand on my arm. And it hurt so bad that I yelped.
"Let go," I growled.
"You really need to stay away from Logan," the girl in the middle hissed.
The spectacle caught the attention of many people and soon a small, but increasing, crowd gathered around us, whispering. None of them, I noticed, even tried to help me. Wow.
"If you say so."
"That's an order."
"Okay." My arm was really numb. What was this girl, a heavyweight wrestler? If that was so, she was probably the skinniest wrestler ever.
"Okay? You're going to leave him alone?"
"Okay, I acknowledge that as an order and no, I'm not going to leave him alone." I don't know what prompted me to say that when I obviously had no problems to leave him. I guess I just didn't like to be forced to do something.
The middle girl cocked her head to the fountain and I knew before it happened that they were going to shove me in the fountain. The girl shoved me really hard. I staggered backwards, and fell into the water.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 5: Butter-lies.

2010-04-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

"I don't look human."
Those were the words that were playing in my mind as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My chaotic auburn hair tumbled down my back up until my waist and it was weird seeing my brown eyes clearly for the first time. It was even weirder seeing my mouth free of metal.
During the weekends, Logan began his transformation on me. We visited the optician, then my orthodontist to remove my braces(hello, straight teeth!), and finally Logan bought me new clothes and burned all my current ones. Okay, so maybe he didn't burn it, but he did hint it more than a couple of times. And though I kept protesting for him NOT to buy me clothes, he said, with a matter of fact tone "This is for my benefit. If they see me with a girl wearing what you currently own...they'll think you're only a friend." And when I started to argue, he brought up the "You promised to do what I say" card. Not fair, noooot fair.
Okay, so maybe it wasn't a drastic transformation like the ones I normally see in chick flicks(ie, eyebrow plucking? I'm pretty sure that hurts) but it was still weird looking in the mirror, and trying to find my reflection only to realise I am looking at my reflection.
My cell vibrated, yet again disrupting my pity party. Breaking away from my curious reflection, I answered...Logan's call?
"Yes?"
"I'm waiting outside your dorm."
Five words and he hung up. Ignoring that abrupt call, I went back to staring.
If I could just tie my hair, at least I would have one trait that was still the same as the old me.
The truth was, I wasn't scared of how I looked like, I was scared of who I might become. Watching too many chick flicks has taught me that, when the female protagonist undergoes alteration, she normally becomes a bitch and drifts from her friends and after a tearful reconciliation, where the girl has to give up the popular image, they become friends once again. But I mean still! What if I do become a bitch?
Checking my watch, I saw that I only had 30 minutes left until registration started. Tearing my gaze away from my mirror, I grabbed my bag and headed out into the jungle.

"I called you at 7.20," Logan said, crossing his arms. So he really was, outside my dorm. Huh. "That was ten minutes ago. I dont wait for anyone. I never wait."
"I didn't tell you to 'wait'," I said, feeling annoyed. Okay, Becca, PMS much?
"This is purely for our 'couple image', so don't let it get to your head," he said, "And when I say, 'I'm outside', that's code for 'go outside'."
"Whatever you say, captain."
He let out an aggravated sigh but didn't say anything else.
It wasn't until we were nearing the main building, however, that I broke the silence, Thanks, nervousness. "I can't do this."
Logan who was a few steps in front of me, looked back with an incredulous expression. "You can't walk into a building?"
"Not looking like this, I can't! I look ridiculous!"
"No you don't."
"Yes, I do!"
"You don't."
"You're only saying that cause you made me this way!"
"Trust me when I say, you don't." He looked so earnest when he said that, I nearly believed him. But of course, I didn't. "Let's just go okay? They won't kill you."
He grabbed my wrist and dragged me the rest of the way while I merely focused on the ground.
"If you would look up every once in a while, you would actually see how envious these girls are looking at you."
"I like the view of the ground, just fine, thanks."
"So you do care what people think?" He said, stopping all of a sudden. "We're at your locker."
I quickly shifted my attention to my locker, ignoring the urge to look around. "Only one."
Did I just say that? Oh well, cat's out of the bag. "I've always just wanted to be the girl who can easily talk to Riley and who can joke with him and stuff. So I guess I do care of what he thinks of me." Oh shut up now, Rebecca. Please shut up, you sound so pathetic. "If you tell anyone that, I'll kill you."
Logan's response was interrupted by Nat's shriek of surprise. "OH MY GOD, BECKYYYYY!"
"I've to get to class. Wait for me at the cafeteria later," he whispered. Then he walked away, high-fiving and waving people as he did.
"Everyone is talking about Logan's new girlfriend! And how...you'll die when you hear this...HOT SHE IS!"
My eyes widened and I had my brain-dead moment. Did they really think that? Could my appearance really be that appealing? I guess, beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder. Okay, so I was feeling pretty good about myself. But what I really wanted to know was how Riley reacted. And I wasn't gonna meet him until thursday. Which is what, three days away? Groan groan groan.
"And I completely agree! You look so pretty! But please don't become one of those mega-bitches when you transform into a butterfly, okay?" This is why I loved Nat. Even though we have different opinions on some things, we always think the same at the end of the day.
"That's what's been worrying me!"
"I promise I'll tell you when you do become one. I'll bitch-slap you too."
I thanked the heavens, that I was blessed with such a distracting besfriend that had the ability to make me forget all about my worries and insecurities and the fact that there was a possibility I was going to become a bitch.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 4: A-greed.

2010-04-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

Two days.
It's been two days since the rumors of Logan and I were first elicited. Two days since Logan brought out his scheme to me. And two days since I set things straight with my friends.
When they asked me the real story behind our love affair, I blushed and denied the rumours profusely. I could tell by the way their eyes were looking at me that they didn't believe me. But Nat, thankfully, told them to drop it.
However, I still owed an explanation to Nat. And so, I told her everything. Including Logan's offer. She didn't even hesitate to push me in saying yes. Up until now, I still didn't know what I wanted.
And I only had 5 days left.
My indecisive thoughts were playing in my head as I walked towards the school's theater. I was so caught up in Logan's scheme that I totally forgot the fact that I was going to meet the person who was responsible for these thoughts; Riley.
I pushed the double doors open, and saw him standing there, talking to Mrs. Dubois. The fact that he could pull of the Drama Club's signature t-shirt(white with two black masks criss-crossing each other) without looking like...well, like me, is a mystery that I have yet to uncover.
Felling the butterflies multiplying in my stomach, I quickly went backstage.
"There you are!" Savannah Teeger exclaimed. Savannah was the head of the backstage crew and her fierce demeanor contradicted her soft blond hair and blue eyes. She scared me. "The Johnson brothers had a little emergency so I need you to finish up their work." She pointed to the unfinished bushes.
I nodded and made my way to the cardboard 'bushes', where a can of green paint and a red-handled brush lied next to it. As I sat cross-legged in front of my task for the day, I caught a glimpse of Savannah laughing gaily with Riley. She whacked his arm playfully and I saw, with a startle, that her hand lingered there.
There was a pang in my chest, and I realized just how much I wanted to joke with him. Or just to utter a sentence to him without stammering and making myself look like an idiot.
And for once in my life, I was going to make it happen.

As soon as the bell rang, I searched wildly around the school for Logan.
I ran from one end of the hallway, and back again. It wasn't until sweat dripped down my forehead that I realised just how silly it was for me to look for Logan among the throng of 500 students.
Tomorrow, I'll tell him tomorrow. But of course, I knew, better than anyone else, that the longer it was for me to make a decision, the quicker it was for me to change my mind.
Felling dejected and once again, troubled, I exited the main building and headed for my dorm.
And that's when I saw him(and his two other friends), lying at the lacrosse field like it was his bed. My heart pounded in my chest(from relief or nervousness, I couldn't tell) as I approached him.
The three guys' eyes fluttered open as my shadow fell on them. Trent and Chace sat up while Logan merely shifted his arms to the back of his head.
"Can I talk to you?" I mumbled, not appreciating the audience. I blushed under their gaze and for once, I was thankful for the hot weather.
Logan finally sat up and cocked his head towards his friends. "I'll catch you guys later."
They fist bumped him before walking back to their dorms, casting a doubtful glance at me before finally exiting the lacrosse field.
"Yes?" He looked expectantly at me, the blinding sun rendering him squinting.
"I accept your offer," I muttered, looking pathetically at my shoes.
"I can't hear you."
Jerk jerk jerk. "I accept your offer."
"Nope, still can't hear you."
"I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!"
He scoffed. "No need to scream, I have two fully-functional ears." You didn't have them two seconds ago. "Well now, this is a surprise."
He stood up and wiped his hands on his shorts, grinning as he inspected me. Yeah, what a surprise that the brat was getting his way. No, Becca, you're getting something out of this, too. I smiled.
"I hope that smile is sincere," he said, walking past me. I struggled to keep up with his brisk walk. Darn his long legs. "If you're going to be my girlfriend, you're gonna have to do everything I say, understand?"
I nodded but the way he phrased it seemed frightening and I wondered if it was too late to back out of the agreement. Then I remembered Riley and the promise I made to myself about doing something instead of watching other people get opportunities, and I stopped myself from withdrawing.
"Starting from tomorrow, you're gonna have to talk and look the part of a Van Der Bilt's girlfriend."
Once again, I was caught in the attention of envious girls who stared dreamily at Logan whilst shooting daggers at me. Trust me, he's not all he's cracked up to be.
"That means no ponytails, glasses, braces and...paint-stained t-shirts." I looked down at my t-shirt and saw a splotch of green paint at the underside of my shirt.
"T-shirt and ponytails are no problem. But I'm not getting my braces of until next week and I can't see without my glasses."
"Then I'll pay for a new orthodontist(um, whoa?) and it's not like contacts cost much--"
"I hate wearing contacts," I protested.
"No one's gonna look in your eyes if you have four of them."
I rolled my eyes at his stupidity but didn't argue any further. "Is that all?"
He stopped walking and I realized that we had arrived at my dorm. Logan turned to me, his blue eyes boring into mine. "For now."
"Wait. If you fail in helping me get Riley, you have to tell the truth to all the girls you've been lying to."
He scoffed like my stipulation was child's play. "Consider it done. But you have to do everything I say. And I do mean everything."
With one last Godfather-esque stare, he left.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 3: Prop-osal.

2010-04-15T16:59:00.000+08:00

It took me a moment to realize what exactly was going on. Once again, my brain had shut down.
And when I did finally come to my senses, I was, I'm embarrassed to admit, rooted to the spot. Make no mistake, I didn't encourage him, but I didn't discourage him, either. I just stood there, with my arms to my side and my lips utterly paralyzed.
"Becca?"
I knew that voice. Longed for that voice to call me in recognition. But as of now, I wanted nothing more to disappear from his so called acknowledgment.
Anger and humiliation surged through me as I shoved Logan with all my might. Dizzily, I whirled around to see the red-head guy whom I had a one-sided crush for. His face was contorted with confusion or disgust, I really couldn't tell. The girl Logan was trying to avoid was gone.
"H-h-ha," I stammered. My pathetic excuse for a greeting came out as a laugh. I flushed violently as his eyes darted from Logan to me.
"I'll uh, see you at drama club."
He walked past us, probably shuddering with revulsion at the very second. I flushed even more vehemently.
As soon as he was out of earshot, I glared pointedly at Logan, and embarrassed with my own lack of strength, walked past him, rubbing my lips with so much force, I was surprised it didn't cut open.
"I have to say, your taste in guys are sure...unique," he commented, falling into step with me.
I clamped my mouth shut, distrusting my voice not to crack when I did speak. You see, whenever I'm angry or frustrated I somehow manage to cry. Yes, yes, I'm perfectly aware of how odd I am.
"I mean, most girls would pick the quarterback instead of...the towel boy."
At that football comparison I turned sharply to him and accidentally hit his thigh with my bag. (Yes, that was how tall he was.) Though it wasn't deliberate, I was still satisfied as he blatantly winced.
"Why should girls pick self-absorbed quarterbacks as opposed to humble towel boys? Looks are what girls go for, but they stay for the conversation. Looking at you now, I doubt you'd have that skill."
Then I stalked off, wishing I'd done something more physical than hurt him with words.

I woke up the next morning feeling more relaxed than I did yesterday. And I had to admit, I was feeling kind of guilty for saying those harsh words to Logan. My guilty conscience outweighed my pride, and so, I was determined to apologize to him.
But then I mulled things over and realized that Riley was never going to like me after that humiliating incident. A voice in my head said, he's not going to like you regardless of that kiss.
On that happy thought, I hunted around my room for my glasses. It apparently fell to the floor because I heard an ominous cracking sound. I lifted my foot to see my broken glasses. I groaned. Natasha wore glasses as well, but her degree was so much higher that I got a headache every time I wore it. It'll have to do for today.
Still indecisive about apologize or not, I walked to the school's main building. As I reached the entrance, my trusted rubberband snapped. I gritted my teeth in distress as my curly auburn hair tumbled down my back. Clenching my fists, I charged to my locker in search of my headband. Note to self: put rubberbands in your locker for emergency situations.
It wasn't until I reached my locker and my bestfriend Natasha had rushed over to me, that I realized people were whispering behind my back.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE WITH LOGAN?"
"WHAT?"
"Half, no, THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS TALKING ABOUT IT."
My eyes widened and for a moment, I just stood there, my jaw snapped shut. Natasha shook my arms violently.
"IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT?"
Before I could deny it, Logan appeared, looking utterly blase albeit the fact that people were talking about him. But knowing him, it probably wasn't new.
"Hello."
His icy cool eyes intimidated Natasha enough to excuse herself. She mouthed the words 'details' to me and walked away, even though I had ceaselessly begged her to stay.
"You have to tell them it's not true. You have to tell them that we're not dating."
"Why would a self-absorbed guy do that, I wonder."
Okay, so he was still mad. "I'm sorry! I'm sooo sorry!" Screw my integrity. If people were gossiping about us, than that will ruin ANY chance of me ever being with Riley. So, okay, a girl can dream.
"You like Riley, don't you?"
My eyes darted to all the passer-byes that shot me a look of hatred. I resisted the urge to tell them that they could have him.
"Does that matter? Please just explain it to them. Please please please."
"No."
"YOU OWE ME."
"Listen."
I snapped my mouth shut, angrily combing my front hair back with my red headband, which was a big mistake since my scalp hurt after that. I tentatively rubbed my head with my hand.
"I'm listening."
"If you want Riley, cooperate with me."
"Meaning what?"
"Pretend to be my girlfriend, and I'll make sure you get Riley."
My heart leaped in excitement but I somehow felt...uneasy. I looked at him warily. He didn't crack under my gaze though, which wasn't surprising because I looked ridiculous with my messy hair and squinting eyes. I was amazed he didn't laugh at my silly appearance.
"What's the catch?"
"I get a scapegoat."
It seemed pretty reasonable enough, but it didn't ease my suspicions. I knew there was something more. "But why me? You can pick any girl who would gladly be your fake girlfriend."
"None that aren't clingy, though."
That made sense. Since I hated his guts, I wouldn't constantly nag him to go out with me or boast about how awesome he was. I've heard girls brag more than once and they usually didn't last long.
"Why do you even have to think about it?" He asked, clearly impatient for my answer. "You get the man of your dreams, so what's the problem?"
He was right. What was the problem? "I've to think about it."
He scoffed, breaking his cool stance. He actually looked annoyed, to be honest. "You've one week to 'think' about it."
Then he walked away.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 2: Lies.

2010-04-12T19:47:00.000+08:00

I didn't know how to explain what I was currently feeling.
It was as if my brain had suddenly shut down from shock. I simply stared at Logan as he slowly smiled. I was aware of movement from passer-byes but I didn't bother turning because I was too shocked.
He turned and quickly whispered in my ear. "Play along, okay?"
He smiled again, and let go of my arm. I could actually feel my blood circulating. Just kidding.
"Play along to--"
"Logan!"
A shrill voice rang through the hallway. I suppressed the urge to cover my ears from the deafening yell.
The owner of the voice was a medium-height girl with an almost glowing skin and glossy pink lips. Her blond hair was tousled--probably from running, since she was panting--and kept in place with a red headband with a maroon ribbon.
"Jenny," Logan said, with a tight smile. I suddenly realized that he was holding my file(probably as a hostage). Jenny smiled for the recognition but it soon disappeared as she caught sight of me. I froze under her intimidating scrutiny.
"Who's this?" she asked.
Logan gave her his signature one-dimple grin and held me close. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but his arm only tightened its hold on me. He was like quick sand; the more you struggle, the more you sink. Or in this case, being cut off your blood circulation.
"My girlfriend," he announced nonchalantly.
"You have a girlfriend?" Her eyes were wide with shock. And she had every right to be shocked. I would be shocked if this handsome guy chose a mousy and geeky looking girl over a gorgeous girl like her. "But we only broke up yesterday..."
"This is all a misunderstanding," I clarified, much to Logan's dismay. He shot me a withering look which I ignored. "I'm not his girlfriend."
"She's shy," Logan said, looking straight at me. "Aren't you?"
"Not--"
"So, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone, okay, Jen?" He talked to her like she was a kid. I don't blame him because at the moment, she looked exactly like one. Her eyes were glassy with tears and her lower lip was quivering as she nodded. "Thanks. I'll see you later."
He steered me away from the teary-eyed Jen. As soon as we were a couple of meters away from her, I turned to him and snatched my file away.
"I'm not one to pry, but since you just claimed me to be your girlfriend, I think I have every right to ask what that was about?"
He shrugged. "The girl's been chasing after me since the day I broke up with her."
"And I'm, what, your scapegoat?"
"Correct." He smiled, seemingly happy that I understood him. I didn't.
"Are you aware that you just lied to her?"
His smile faltered. "What else was I supposed to do?"
"Um, tell her the truth?"
"Ah, but she'd get hurt."
I stifled a scoff. "'But better to be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.'" That was my favorite quote by one of my favorite authors; Khaled Hosseini.
Logan opened his mouth to speak, but shut it back again, looking a lot like my pet fish, Jared.
"I can see that you're at a loss for words. Tell me when you've thought of a comeback." I gave him a smile(just to rub it in) and walked to my word history class.

Thanks to Ms. Hobbs, we were released a quarter of an hour late. I ran from the biology laboratory to my locker, hating the fact that it was practically light-years away. Even so, I managed to get there. As I was stuffing my books into my locker, a voice broke and I jumped in shock. I turned and saw...would you believe it, Logan.
He smiled as I turned fully to him. "'People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to'," Malcolm Muggeridge."
"Excuse me?" This guy sure was weird.
"You said to tell you when I've thought of a comeback," he answered, walking side by side with me.
I smirked, acknowledging his effort. "Good work. Did you Google it?"
He laughed. Sincerely, too. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"
I shrugged. "Maybe."
There was a shuffling of footsteps and Logan's expression changed. "Crap."
I followed his gaze to a tall, auburn-haired girl with golden skin. I didn't even have to ask. She was, of course, one of James' conquests.
"Do me a favor and--"
"Play along?" I guessed.
He nodded.
"No."
"I'll pay you back!"
The girl squinted, and, seeing that it was, indeed, Logan, approached us. She was a few inches away when I decided to put James out of his agony and said yes.
He grinned but instead of announcing to the girl that he was taken, Logan pulled me closer and kissed me.

How to get a boyfriend; Chapter 1: Girl-friend.

2010-04-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

They're people too, I chanted in my head. It was my mantra for the whole of my sophomore year in Westchester Academy.
My name's Rebecca Scott. And I attend one of the most prestigious High Schools in New York.
Westchester Academy. School for the rich and elite. Even though I could be considered as the latter, I was not, however, the former. Maybe it was because I didn't quite fit in with the tall, skinny and constantly perfect-haired girls of Westchester Academy.
My parents were trust fund babies, who met at this debutante ball when my mom and dad were 25 and 26, respectively. They got married six months later. My dad was a high-powered attorney while my mom hosted dinner parties and luncheons. They had me, a year later. When I was in elementary school, I saw that most of my friends were picked up by their chauffeurs. I was puzzled, because my mom had always picked me up. And then, in middle school, I learned that chauffeurs, nannies and maids were replacements for parents. But mine wasn't like that at all. They always put me first; attended all my recitals, my parents teacher meetings and awarding ceremonies.
That all started to change in my freshman year when I was transferred to Westchester Academy. My parents had always donated a huge sum of money to some sort of donation. One day, however, they decided to do something more. They packed their bags, and went for charity work. Westchester Academy's dormitories was where they placed their only child while they helped a thousand others.
You could say I was bitter. I cried a lot during those first few months in Westechester Academy but after that, I started to see the bright side of things. No one was there to scold me if I didn't do my homework, or tell me to eat dinner when I didn't feel like it. Unfortunately, I did all things regardless if anyone told me to, or not. That was how I was brought up, and that was how I lived my life. But it was having the choice not to do it, that mattered.
My parents never brought me up like others, I knew. They were very frugal. So maybe, because of that, I could never relate to anyone here when they say that their 'daddies' bought them a 'yacht' for their ' advanced birthday'.
Okay, so that's not the complete truth of why I didn't fit in.
I didn't look like the girls here. I was borderline short, and though I wasn't exactly fat, I wasn't skinny either and let's not even go to my pathetic excuse of a hair that most people would mistake for a nest on my bad days. Once every blue moon, my hair would go the way I want it to go. But on most days, it's just a tangle mess of auburn curls. Because of that, I had always tied it in a tight ponytail.
On top of that horrifying image of me, I wear braces and am practically blind without my glasses. You could say that I looked a lot like Betty Suarez save for the fact that I was as white as a chalk and I could never find a way out my mess like Betty usually does.
Which is probably why the guy I like thinks I don't exist.
Riley Downings.
At the mere thought of him, an image of a red haired guy with fair skin and mossy green eyes came to mind. He'll be a senior this year, and though it wasn't made official, everyone knew he was going to be head of the drama club as well as the honor student for the year. And there was already rumours that he'd gotten offers from Yale and Harvard!
My stomach flipped as I remembered our first encounter. I was a freshman at the time and had signed up for the drama club because it was the only club that had an available space in the middle of the semester. Did I mention how misanthropic I was? No, it wasn't out of personal choice. People avoided me because I was new and everyone already had their own cliques. I was fine with it until I had to find where the theater was. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone, so I simply walked all over the school until I found it. And when I did, I was thirty minutes late.
The drama teacher was apparently a perfectionist and wouldn't even accept my reasonable excuse of being new and thus, getting lost. So I just kept quite while she yelled at me in front of my peers who snickered behind their hands. Then Riley stood up from his chair and said, "She's new and Westchester is pretty big. If you keep punishing her for something so trivial, considering it's only her first mistake, we're gonna waste a lot of time."
The teacher glared disapprovingly at me but took Riley's advice.
I liked him ever since.
My shoulder felt dislocated as an excited looking girl bumped me. She didn't bother saying sorry as she rushed to the double doors of Westchester.
I took a deep breath and followed after her.
The hallway was filled with girls chattering with each other and guys who were observing the ones that they would probably ask out.
I clutched my white Kathy Van Zeeland totebag and dodged the crowd to my locker. After I stuffed my exercise books in my bag and made my way to my classroom.
Surprised that my knees didn't buckle from nervousness.

The first half of my first day in school was just 'okay'.
My English teacher was absent for the day(thank you, God!) so I spent the two periods finishing up my French homework. My classmates, however, did the exact opposite(as can be expected); they talked the period away. Don't get me wrong, I would've done the same, had it not been for the fact that I had no idea how to engage in their conversation topic. Rather than embarrassing myself, I decided to do my homework. English Literature was nice. We spent the two periods analyzing Thomas Hardy's The Voice. It was interesting but a bit dull, in my opinion.
As I stuffed my two textbooks and file inside my locker, my best friend, Natasha White appeared beside me. Natasha White had long fiery red hair that she always let loose with some sort of headband. She had freckles on her nose which she particularly hated and even though she doesn't notice it herself, she was very pretty.
"Let's go to the cafeteria! I'm starving."
I nodded and stuffed my biology and world history textbook in my totebag.
You might think we have a cafeteria full of cliques, but that's not so. Our tables are divided by circles of friends not by social strata. But at the ceiling to floor window, there's a table that everyone covets. And they have reason to. At that table, are a group of boys and girls who are not only good looking but are also on top of their academic game. However, this group consists only of juniors and seniors leaving the freshmen and sophomores dying to grow up.
Even though I had no desire to be one of them, I had to admit there was a twinge of jealousy whenever I glanced at their table. You might wonder why I didn't want to be part of this perfect group of individuals. Well, that's because once you sit at their table, you are immediately tainted as a perfect entity who can do no wrong. And knowing how clumsy I am, it'd be hard to keep up that pretense. So I'd rather be tainted as a klutz, than be tainted as a flawless girl who is just waiting to slip up. They say the higher you climb, the harder you fall. Any tiny mistake, will be magnified. I shivered just thinking about it.
"Oh my god, Logan Van der Bilt is just...I can't even think of a perfect adjective," my friend, Diana Richardson gushed. Diana was pretty, but because of her...erm, big nose, that always tainted her image. I always found that ridiculous. Not all girls can be flawless.
I glanced at the table and caught a glimpse of Logan Van der Bilt as he blithely laughed at a joke his friend, Chace Rolof cracked. Ten guesses as to where their table was. Mmhmm, that's right, the two, as well as Trent Ridgeway, made up the triumvirates of the elite table.
Chace and Jacob were no doubt, good looking. But if they were Adonises, Logan was Michelangelo's David. Girls all went crazy for Logan because of his reckless demeanor. He dated around too, and girls, even the ones who don't fall for lies, are gullible enough to believe it when he says, 'I love you' or 'You're the only one for me'. What Logan forgets to mention is that, he'll only love them...for the week.
But even though I might crinkle my nose at him, I had to admit that Logan was quite handsome. He had light blonde hair that was always, in my perspective, unkempt. But unlike mine, the I-Just-Got-Out-Of-Bed-Hair worked on him. He had one dimple on his left cheek, that always seemed to be showing because he always smiled. He had deep blue eyes that always seemed to be looking right at you. Like, right now, for instance. I snapped out of my trance, long enough to realize that he was looking at me! I straightened up and angled my face away from him, trying my best to participate in the conversation.
"So, how's Riley?" Jane Daley casually asked. Jane was my other bestfriend. Her body was built like an athlete, tall and a bit muscular. She always kept her jet black hair shoulder length and, like me, tied in a tight ponytail.
"I don't know? Fine, I guess," I said, equally nonchalant. But I knew they could see how red my cheeks were. I hated it when I blushed. Which was um, often.
"Just talk to him, already!" she hissed.
"Don't be ridiculous! When am I supposed to causally strike up a conversation with him?"
"You're both in the same club, for crying out loud!" Nat pointed out, with a roll of her eyes.
"Yes, but I'm always backstage while he's onstage."
"Then go onstage!" Diana suggested.
I could guess, that my friends were aggravated with the fact that I was in the same theater as the guy I liked but had yet to talk to him.
"It's not like I can," I said sadly. "I have a fear of public speaking, remember?"
My friend sighed in frustration. The moment of self-pitying was cut short as the bell rang. I excused myself and scurried to my class.
I groaned as I realized that my world history class was on the other side of the hallway.
"Hey, you!" a voice called out.
Figuring it was for someone else, I kept on walking. It wasn't until a hand grabbed my forearm that I stopped. I turned, ready to snap when I saw who the guy was.
Logan.
My eyes widened which he probably found amusing, because he smiled.
"Do I know you?" I asked. I did, but not on intimate terms because I had never spoken to him.
His face was contorted in confusion. He probably thought that everyone knew who he was. Egotistical.
I shrugged his hold on me off. "You probably mistook me for someone else. I'll just get going, now."
He reached for my forearm again. "No, I wasn't. You're my girlfriend."

Tinseltown Lies; 78; Say that you love me.

2010-03-27T09:52:00.000+08:00

"You look like a mess," Avery commented, as Nina shuffled along the white kitchen floor.
"I feel like a mess," she replied, stealing his fresh-brewed coffee. Her eyes were practically slits, her hair a bird's nest and her face was pasty. "Oh! How was your date with Elle last night?"
He winced as flashbacks of last night played in his mind. "We're uh...friends. I guessed as much when she wouldn't let me open the car door for her."
"Plenty of fish in the sea." She was practically finishing his coffee. He snatched the mug away from her, scowling as he did so. "Stingy." She stuck her tongue out and took out her own mug.
"Oh, your boyfriend called. Said he'd pick you up at 11 for breakfast. And that he had an important news to tell you."
"Why didn't he just call my cell?"
"He didn't wanna disturb your sleep or something."
She smiled, which soon turned into a frown. "I think the clock's broken."
"Why?" Avery glanced at the clock which indicated that it was already half past ten. "I don't think so."
"It's HALF PAST TEN?" she shrieked, already running up the stairs.
"Ditz," her cousin said under his breath.

"Alex, I've to tell you something," she said.
A few minutes had passed in silence while they both ate their breakfast--she, a strawberry jam slathered scone and he, an American breakfast--and Alex still hadn't told her the 'big news'. She got butterflies just thinking about it. But she decided that she should tell him what's been on her mind first.
Alex put his coffee down and looked at her. "So do I."
"Shotgun! Ha, I go first."
He smirked. "Okay then, go ahead."
She took a deep breath. "I have to admit it Lex, I was scared. Scared of the future. Because I wasn't sure of how it'd be if we lived so far away. And Alan and Elle's relationship had a lot to do with it too."
"Nina--"
"Let me finish." She took another deep breath. "But I'm not anymore. Because if I don't try it with us, I'll never know if we could last. So whatever happens, will happen. I'll make us work. And I'm not afraid of getting hurt in the process."
"Nina, look at me." She wasn't aware of it at the moment, but she was apparently staring at her lap which somehow had shredded pieces of napkin on them.
She looked up to see him...smiling.
"That was quite touching but unfortunately, unnecessary."
Her stomach plummeted. "Are you...breaking up with me?"
"What?" He looked sincerely shocked. "Why would you think that?"
"It looks like you are."
He shook his head. "Nina, I'm going to Princeton."
She laughed. A little too loudly. "Another dream, really?" Another bitter laugh.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
There were tears in her eyes.
"It's not fair!" she shrieked. Alex was relieved that he decided to have breakfast in a private room. That was...soundproof.
"What's not fair?" He asked, softly.
"That I keep having these dreams. How am I not supposed to hate you for leaving if I keep dreaming of the perfect alternative; that you go to a college near me."
"Nina, this isn't a dream."
"Yeah, it is," she scoffed.
He kissed her as means of making his point. "Still think it's a dream?" He asked, his warm breath tingling her lips.
"You're...really going to Princeton? But...how? And who's gonna run your father's business if you do?"
"James."
"James?" she asked, incredulous. "But I thought your mom was against James being the heir?"
"Apparently he convinced my mom otherwise," Alex answered, "He wants to be the heir."
"Wh--That's...I mean...huh?"
"Looks like you won't have to get 'hurt in the process' after all."

Tinseltown Lies; 77; The sky is the limit.

2010-03-27T07:05:00.000+08:00

Nina sat at the leather seat of Area, the deafening music drowning out the conversations all around her. She sat between Jason and Josh who were both entertaining their girlfriends. Depressed that her boyfriend was entertaining his 'work' she downed her third drink. Or was it fourth? Couldn't be more than five, at least.
"Don't you think you've had enough alcohol for one night?" James asked her. She looked up and saw him standing there.
"I just had a teeeeeeeensy weeeensy bit to drink," she replied, her voice sounding foreign to her.
"Let's get some air," he suggested, pulling her up.
"You look really drunk!" Halley commented, laughing. "Go walk it off. James, give her some ice."
He waved her off and guided her up to the roof. Even with his arm around her, she somehow managed to slip and bruise her foot.
"Ow! Ow," she yelped, sitting at the top of the stairs to inspect her wounded foot. James scooped her up in his arms and set her down on one of the wooden benches. He knelt down and examined her foot.
"You sprained your ankle," he said, after a while. "I'll get some ice." He was near the door when he turned back and warned, "Do not move."
"You Anderson boys always boss me around," she mumbled, staring up at he stars.
James smirked and walked away, leaving her with the stars.
"As if I could move if I wanted to," she muttered, unaware that she was talking to herself, "I sprained my ankle thank you very much!"

James took the stairs two at a time, afraid that she might have somehow disappeared. But when he stepped outside, she was still there, seemingly drawing shapes in the air.
He knelt down and tentatively laid the ice pack on her ankle. Then he gave her a martini glass filled with ice and told her to chew on it.
"The glass?" she asked, dubiously.
"The ice," he answered. He forgot how blond Nina could get when she was drunk out of her mind.
"That makes sense," she mumbled and stuffed her mouth with ice.
He rearranged her body, so that she was lying horizontal on the bench. He placed her foot on his lap, and laid the icepack on it.
Funny how he's never done this for any girl before.
"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked. Her sentence was muffled due to the ice.
"I don't know," he answered, truthfully. "Maybe because you always seem to need saving."
"Do not," she argued, swinging her legs off of his lap in an instant. "You Anderson boys always accuse me. You always hurt my feelings. You always put me second."
"Why do I get the feeling that you're talking about Alex and not the Anderson boys in general?"
"Oh whatever!" she snapped. She put on her heels and stood up. Which was a wrong thing to do, since she slipped. Instead of crashing on the concrete floor like she imagined, she was saved by James who pulled her wrist in the nick of time.
"Thank you," she slurred. She tried to shrug his hold on her, but it was a like a death grip. "Please let go."
"You're drunk. Sit down," he ordered.
"No."
"Sit."
"Make me."
"You sure?"
He scooped her up in his arms again and placed her on the bench.
"You two look cosy," a voice said. It was Alex, of course. His face was taut with jealousy and his jaws, were clenched so tightly, James was surprised it didn't break.
"Alex!" Nina greeted, cheerily. Apparently she was oblivious to his thunderous expression, because she flung her arms around him.
James saw that Alex was struggling to keep his emotions in check. He closed his eyes and hugged her back. James excused himself and nearly banged his head on the wall.
"What were you thinking, James?" he muttered, knowing full well why he did what he did.
He loved her.

Tinseltown Lies; 76; Someday We'll Know.

2010-03-25T20:26:00.000+08:00

Nina awoke with a start.
She stared dejectedly at the floor to ceiling window. The dream felt so real, she thought. But then again, what dream didn't?
She quickly got up and dressed, already glaring at her reflection for waking up from the perfect world known as a dream.

"You alright?" Alex's worried voice penetrated her thoughts.
She looked up and nodded solemnly. "Just sleepy."
He was about to say something when his cell sounded. She knew more than anything else that he had to go. He opened his mouth to say something when she cut him off.
"Go."
He sighed and kissed her temple. "I love you."
"Me too."
She went back to gazing at her uneaten strawberry jam on toast, oblivious to the conversation happening around her.
Halley and Leesh were debating over the latest fashion trend, while Elle and Ash debated with whatever it was they usually managed to debate about and Josh was unsuccessfully persuading Jason to play a ping pong on his iTouch. They paid no attention to Nina's aloofness because they knew where she was coming from.
"Nina, you don't look good," Jason said. Nina came crashing back to Earth at the sound of her name.
"What?"
"Let's take a walk." Nina automatically turned to Leesh, but much to her surprise, Leesh remained indifferent.
"Go ahead," she said, "You look as sick as Halley when she gets drunk."
"Not true!" Halley argued. "You were the one who puked..."
Nina was already out of the door before she could hear the rest of the scintillating story. Jason stopped in front of his car and opened the door for her.
"Get in."
"I thought we were taking a walk?"
"We are. Walking...with wheels."
Nina got in, thinking it was useless to argue anyway. Not like her feet could stand walking while she was wearing these ridiculously tall heels.
"We're alone, so tell me what's wrong," he said.
"Noth--"
"The truth, would be nice."
She took a deep breath and for some inexplicable reason, she blurted everything to him. Just like the night with James, only this time she also told him about the dream.
Jason was quiet, before saying, "Have you ever thought about what would happen if you and I were together?"
"Huh?"
He stopped in front of a beach. The ocean was azure, while the sand glinted with golden flecks. She felt at ease, but only for a moment.
"It's something I always think about; ifs. If I met you before you met Alex. If I put in a lot more effort in persuading you to be with me. If you loved me back."
Her heart felt heavy and she felt her eyes sting, as the familiar feel of pressure being exerted on her eyes occurred.
Jason noticed that she was on the verge of crying and instantly stopped. "My point is, don't live your life with ifs, Nina."
She took the tissue from him and violently wiped her eyes. "But it's a long distance relationship."
"If you let him go, you'll always wonder how it would be if you didn't."
"You're right." Her gaze shifted from the beach to his face. "I think about us occasionally, too."
"Oh, and?" He tried to remain cool but she knew better.
"And we would've been blissfully happy. So happy, in fact, that we'd be bored."
"Why is that?"
"Because you'll always give in to my demands."
He wanted to argue but saw the truth in what she said. "Why is that a bad thing?" It was soft, as if he was talking to himself.
"Because you deserve someone who'll give in to your demands once in a while," she replied.
He scoffed. "Leesh would never--"
"--let you down like I always do."
"Nina."
"Jason." She said his name with a smile, as she stared into his agonized eyes. "Listen to me very carefully: You. Deserve. So. Much. Better."
He smiles but there were traces of misery in his eyes. "You think so? I came in second place in Beverly Hills' Best Bachelors."
She exploded into fits of laughter. "Best Bachelor? I wouldn't go that far."
They headed back ten minutes later. As Nina skipped her way to the restaurant where they were dining, Jason simply stared at her retreating back and whispered, "I'll always love you."
Then he let the wind carry his confession, and headed inside.

Tinseltown Lies; 75; We got the world on a silver platter.

2010-03-24T06:48:00.000+08:00

The atmosphere today should've been untroubled.
Nina would eat her breakfast, Alex would drink his coffee, they both would engage in a light conversation. But Alex noticed that Nina was simply toying with her scrambled eggs. And her eyes, he knew, weren't focusing on them at all. He didn't bother to ask, because he already knew why she was acting this way; their future.
He took her free hand and squeezed lightly. She looked up and gave a half-hearted smile.
"Still worried about our relationship?" he asked, sipping his coffee while holding her hand under the table.
He could see that she was about to shake her head, but nodded lightly just in case.
"It would be easier if you stay put," she explained, "but you won't even be in America most of the time. And I know I'm not one to whine or complain. But--"
"You're scared," he interrupted. "I know you are. But Nina, there's nothing to be scared of. I'll be close to you. Really close."
She rolled her eyes. "Please don't say 'I'll always be in your heart'. Because that's cliche, even for you."
He chuckled, pleased that she wasn't on the verge of crying. Nina never cried. And when she did, it was always his fault. "No, not 'in your heart', but 130 miles away."
Her eyed widened. "What?"
He smiled slowly. "Nina, I'm going to Princeton."

Tinseltown Lies; 74; Tomorrow can wait.

2010-03-22T08:51:00.000+08:00

The prom was held at Alex's house.
Or, more specifically, his backyard. Which was transformed into a prom-worthy place.
The grassy area was covered with some sort of board, that served a the dancefloor. A DJ booth was set up in front, overlooking the white dancefloor, where a skinny guy was already playing some music. He held the headphones close to his ear. Waiters and waitresses walked around, serving champagne and hors d'oeuvre. Dim lights were hung above, as if by magic, but Nina knew there was a thin string holding it together.
Most of the the people who attended were already in the swimming pool. And those who weren't were wearing masks.
A classy masquerade ball themed prom, but at the same time it was casual, noting down the wet girls and guys who were splashing around.
"You alright?" Alex asked, handing her a flute of champagne.
"How'd you manage to do this?" she asked, demurely picking a shrimp and popping it in her mouth.
"I made a few calls," he said, with a nonchalant shrug.
She kissed him on the cheek.
"What was that for?" he asked, smiling nonetheless.
"For being such a great boyfriend."
"Sorry to interrupt, but may I have this dance?" James was standing there, his tie missing, and his jacket unbuttoned. Nina guessed it was deliberate.
Alex gave a brief nod. "I've to call some people anyway." He kissed Nina on the cheek before disappearing into the house.
James whispered into the DJ's ear and a music Nina didn't recognise, played from the stereos. The music was contagious, and soon after, she was dancing and laughing with James.
The song ended, and in its place was a slow number. James place his hand gently on her hips, and she put hers on his shoulder.
"You look beautiful," he complimented, smiling. "And no, I'm not trying to flirt."
"I would think not." As they turned, she caught a glimpse of Alex angrily talking into the phone. Then she thought of how it would be if she went to college. She would go to Yale, as planned. And he would travel all around the world for his father's company.
James must've sense something wrong, because he asked if she was alright.
"Fine," she lied.
"Hey, don't you trust me?" he asked, walking her back to her table.
"Of course I do." She kept quiet before deciding to tell him about her troubles.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, but nodded a while after, as if he had just decided on something.
"You should talk to him," he said. "Now."

She turned around and Alex was approaching them. James patted her head before walking towards the swimming pool.
Alex kissed the top of her head and gently pulled her up. She thought they were gonna dance, but he passed by the dancefloor, paused to say soemthing to the DJ and kept walking until they reached a white gazebo which was far enough away so they wouldn't hear the giddy screams of the girls in the swimming pools, but still able to listen to the music. Which, Nina recognised, was Van Morrison's Someone Like You.
She smiled, remembering all the memories that came with the music. But one distinct recollection came to mind; their time in Barbados.
They swayed back and forth.
"I love you," he murmured in her ear. "I really do."
"I love you too," she replied, but her heart was constricted. She felt like crying which was ridiculous because he did all this for her.
"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning back to inspect her face.
Then she told him. How she was worried about the long distance relationship thing.
His smile was gone as he sat down at one of the benches lined along the marquee's wall.
"I know this isn't fair to you, but I was hoping we could make it work."
He burried his face in his hands, looking tired than ever. She instantly felt guilty for bombing him with her worries, considering the fact that he had probably a hundred other things to be worried about.
"Let's not think about it. Let's just...live in the moment," she said, pulling him back to the center of the gazebo.
"Sounds great."

Tinseltown Lies; 73; The fire you ignited.

2010-03-19T08:04:00.000+08:00

It was one of those usual lunches Nina and Alex always have.
But during this particular lunch, Alex noticed Nina wasn't in the mood.
"The food or something else?" he asked.
She looked up then frowned. "I was just thinking how much I missed when I decided to fall from the face off the earth."
Alex chuckled. "Like what?"
"Like prom."
"Prom?" he repeated, incredulous. He went to prom with Lana. Though it wasn't boring, it wasn't exactly fun either. Judging from the faces of his schoolmates, they were feeling the exact same way. The only people who were enjoying themselves were the girls. They were whooping and singing along to the music, grinding and winding on the dance floor.
When it came to bestowing the coveted title of Prom King and Queen Halley and Josh received the honors. Halley smiled and smacked the uncomfortable looking Josh to do the same.
He danced with Lana after that, but his mind was on Nina. He tried drinking the spiked punch in order to get himself drunk and hopefully get her out of his mind, but he ended up seeing her everywhere.
He ended the night early, collapsing at the back of his limo.
"It's part of the high school experience," she pointed out, bringing him back to earth.
"What else falls in the high school experience category?"
"Graduating," she replied. He laughed but his face suddenly fell serious. "You okay?"
His face lit up. "Perfect. I have to go to a...um, meeting. I'll see you tonight."
He kissed her and walked away, leaving her, confused, as always.

"Remind me why you need dresses?" Nina asked.
Halley ignored her and inspected her reflection in the full length mirror. She held up a turquoise dress, with a diamond studded neckline against herself.
It had been a torturous thirty minutes but Nina felt like it was longer.
"Because I love dresses," she answered, tossing the dress back on the bed. Siobhan, Halley's European personal stylist, hung it back on the rack. "I thought it was time to buy new ones."
Nina rested her head at the foot of the bed.
"You know, you should buy new ones too," Halley said, thoughtfully. Then, her face lit up. "Yeah! I'm gonna dress you up!" She grinned sinisterly, and made a few calls.
Nina groaned but didn't attempt to fight Halley on it. What Halley wants, Halley always gets.
Halley shoved three dresses in Nina's arms. She found it suspicious that there was a dress in her size. Halley was a size two, and Nina, a size five. Before she could call Halley on it, Halley shoved her inside the her walk-in closet, signaling her to change.
The first dress was a dark red strapless Oscar de La Renta dress. It clung to her body, accentuating her curves, before loosely falling down in an array of layers.
Halley squealed, and clapped her hands joyously. "You look tres gorge, Nina!"
Nina smiled, but didn't really like the dress. It was magnificent, of course, but it wasn't her.
The second dress was a very conservative black Chanel dress. It left everything to imagination, but at the same time, it displayed Nina's curves. A white belt was placed beneath Nina's bust.
She didn't even need to look at the third dress to know that this was the one she wanted.
"Perfect," Halley declared, already shoving Nina to the hair station that was instantly set up in Halley's room. She turned right, and there was already a make-up station.
Nina's straight brunette hair was twisted into soft curls, that was then done into a braid and again wound into a complex updo.
Topped off with a black French Connection multi-strap heels, and Nina was done.
She saw that Halley was wearing a light blue grecian dress that ended below her knees. She was wearing a matching blue bow sling back shoes that lookes painful even to see, let alone wear.
Her blond hair was let loose and curled wildly.
A satisfied smile spread across Halley's glossy lips.
"We're prom ready," she announced, giving her reflection an air kiss.
"What?" Nina asked, confused.
Halley clapped her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide.
Before Nina could interrogate her further, the doorbell rang. She giggled.
Nina followed her downstairs.
Alex stood below the stairs in a dashing tuxedo. He had some sort of flower in his hand. A corsage. He smiled at her.
"Your corsage," he said, opening the plastic box and slipping the white rose on her bare wrist.
"Technically, you didn't ask me to prom, so again, technically, you're not my date."
"Just shut up and thank me," Alex said, offering his arm.
She smiled. And placed her hand on the crook of a dashing guy's arm.
Her dashing guy.

Tinseltown Lies; 71; I promise it's worth it.

2010-03-13T23:04:00.000+08:00

As Nina was entering the key into the knob, she heard the sound of a car crushing against the gravel pavement, and eventually skidded to a stop.
She turned, and saw Alex.
He couldn't get out fast enough. The door wasn't even closed.
The look in his eyes, made her stop. Then before she could wrap her head around what he was doing here, he ran straight at her, like his life depended on it.
He held her shoulders and looked in her eyes. She was too puzzled to ask what the hell he was doing.
"I love you," he whispered just before he kissed her.

Lana stood at the gate, clutching her totebag. Her tears welled up and she found it increasingly hard to swallow the ball that seemed to form in her throat.
"You made the right choice," a voice behind her said.
Even before she turned around, she could tell that it was James.
She turned back to the gate, not trusting her voice not to crack. She threatened her tears not to fall. Not here. Not in front of the guy who had burned her.
"It's okay to cry," he said, softly.
Still, she said nothing. She focused on the neon light of Gate 3.
He placed one hand on her shoulder. She wanted to shrug it off, but she found herself soaking his shirt with her tears instead. He held her as she sobbed, her little body shaking dangerously.
"Alex doesn't deserve you," he whispered, patting her head.
His kindness overwhelmed her, and she found herself crying even harder.
"You're gonna miss your flight."
She nodded and fought to control her sobbing. On any given day, she would've felt embarrassed to cry like that. But she just felt...relieved. "Thanks."
"Thank you."
When her brows furrowed.
He explained, "I owe them less now. So thank you for allowing me to pay my debt."
She smiled halfheartedly, before giving him a small wave and disappearing into the gate.

Tinseltown Lies; 71; Finally.

2010-03-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

It was nearly midnight, marking the end of James birthday.
He looked around the pulsating party and knew his 21st birthday was an awesome one. As he sipped his Diet Coke, his eyes fell on Alex, who was looking longingly at Nina. Meanwhile, his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen.
As he evaded the drunken crowd, he finally saw her getting out of the bathroom. She was pretty. And James had no doubt that she was smart too. Which was a pity since she was wasting her time on a guy that doesn't recognise those features.
He walked over to her.
"Hey, Lana," he said, smiling.
She blinked a few times, seemingly dazed. "Oh um, hi James."
"Let's talk."

They were at the last booth, which was the perfect location for conversations since it was away from the music and nearly passing out crowd.
"I must say," James said, taking a sip of his Coke, "Alex has excellent taste."
Even in the darkness, he could tell she was blushing. He tried not to smile at the familiar sight of girls flustering in his presence. He wasn't being obnoxious; simply truthful.
"Oh, thanks," she mumbled, playing with her charm bracelet.
"But of course lex wouldn't be Alex if he didn't have an exquisite girl by his side." He tried not to feel guilty as he saw Lana's face fall. "I used to have a crush on Nina, you know?"
She shook her head, half-halfheartedly. "What happened?"
"My infatuation had cost their relationship," he answered.
"Oh."
"I owe them. So I hope you can forgive me for what I'm about to say."
She looked nervous, and tucked a blond hair that wasn't there. "Um, okay."
"Break up with him."
"What?" Her blue eyes widened in shock and probably hurt, too.
"You're a nice girl, don't waste your time on somebody that...doesn't feel the same for you." She looked close to tears which kicked him in the gut. He felt so horrible. But went on. "Nina and Alex have been through shits together. They have history. History that won't be easy to get over. So what I'm trying to say is, there is a chance Alex may fall for you, but no matter what, he'll always love Nina more."
"Stop."
"You've seen the way he--"
"Enough--"
"--looks at her."
"Please."
"He loves her, Lana."
"Stop it!"
"Let him go."
"STOP IT!" she screamed, which was, thankfully, inaudible due to the loud music.
"I have to go. I'm sorry for wasting your time." He stood up and looked at her. She was sobbing. "I hope you'll make the right decision. You deserve better."
He patted her shoulder, laid a tissue in front of her and left her to solitude.

After the party, Lana told Alex she felt unwell and went home via taxi before he could see that she was crying.
He looked worried. Which made her decision even harder.
As she reached her bestfriend's apartment, she took a long bath and mulled things over. As soon as she reached a decision, she told her bestfriend who erupted in tears. But said that she was proud of her for making the right decision.
There was a knock on her door. She wiped her tears and opened it.
"Are you--" Alex stopped midway, as he saw her bags. "Where are you going?"
"Back to Arizona," she answered, walking back to her room to resume her packing.
"Wait, what?" He followed her to the empty bedroom that she shared with her bestfriend.
She sighed, and stopped folding her cardigan. "I'm leaving,"
"I know. But why?"
"Because my home is in Arizona."
"You didn't even tell me."
"I'm telling you now."
"But it's...well, sudden."
"What's your point?"
"What's gonna happen to us."
She turned around. "We're done."
"What? What's going on with you today?"
"I'm growing up," she answered. "Now help me pack."
"You broke up with me and now you're asking me to help you pack?"
She felt impatient now. Her flight was leaving in an hour. "We were done even before now."
"Wha--"
"I know you're in love with her."
He was silent.
"So, I'm letting you go. I deserve better, after all."
"Yeah," he said, "You really do."
She felt tears stinging her eyes and fought to control her voice. "Go."
He understood and said, "Lana, no matter what, I did love you."
Then he left and she let her tears fall.

Tinseltown Lies; 70: Fooling my selfish heart.

2010-03-03T13:23:00.000+08:00

You could tell what kind of place Formosa Cafe was. It's neon sign and pink walls made you stop, and stare. There was aura of boldness about the place.
Following James, Nina stepped inside. The interior was much more daring than the outside. The ceilings had dim spotlights that cast a comforting glow over the dark red walls which had pictures of various stars shaking hands with the owner. James Dean to Johnny Depp adorned the walls.
There was a big bar at one side. Alcohol from every year and every brand stacked the shelves. Nina wondered idly, if James would be drinking.
The bar had a strictly 21 rule, but apparently James and the cafe owner went way back and so, he made an exception.
The chairs were made of black leather. Booths flanked each side of the walls. And at the centre, there was a single circular table, that had an opening for you to enter and sit down. Nina was wondering how people would get out when they had to pee, when James' placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Sit down," he said, steering her to one of the booths.
There weren't many people there. Only 8 guys and girls who had a kick start in drinking. They looked so wasted, Nina was surprised they didn't pass out.
"I'm glad you came," James said.
Just then, Alex and Lana walked in. Alex scanned the room and Nina sunk back in her chair.
"Yeah, me too."

It had been an hour since Nina came, but since then, 40 more people filled the room.
She was grateful for the crowd, because she melted away with them, lowering the chances of meeting Lana or Alex.
She was going to go the bathroom, when James caught her eye, and waved her over. He was talking to a short guy, with a sincere smile. She walked over.
The guy looked a lot like the man in the pictures. She realised he was the man's grandson. He had black hair and white skin in contrast.
"Nina, this is Danial Chung." Mixed, Nina thought. Because even though, he looked Chinese, he sounded American.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled as she shook his hand. "Enjoy the party you two. It should be easy."
He smiled once more and disappeared into the crowd.
"Enjoying the party?" he asked, hands in his pockets. The music wasn't so loud, but you could still dance to it, without being deaf.
She nodded, slapping a fake smile on her face. As she turned, she caught Lana's eye. Lana looked so young in this atmosphere. She was wearing a white mini dress with leggings, and black Chanel flats. A white headband held her hair together. She was alone. And Nina was suddenly angry at Alex for leaving her. But she couldn't face Lana. She was about to tell Halley this when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
"Nina?"
She turned, and found herself face to face with a very confused Lana. She looked more innocent than ever, now.
"Hi, Lana."
"You're Lana?" James asked. She forgot he was even there. "And...you two know each other?"
Lana was ignoring him, she was staring at Nina, like the pieces were finally fitting.
"You're Alex's ex-girlfriend aren't you?" she said. Her eyes were wide.
Nina nodded.
"Lana, there--" Alex stopped as he saw Nina. He coughed. "Here." He handed her a glass full of diet coke, Nina guessed.
Lana gulped, and ignored the offering.
"Well, this is awkward," James said, scratching his head. "Um, Nina, come on, I want you to meet my friends."
Nina let James pull her into the suffocating crowd.
Suddenly, the deafening music, didn't look so bad.

Nina was in a conversation with one of James' friends--Was it Carlo or Monte?--, who had been slurring on and on about his hotel in France. Nina bit back the urge to tell him it wasn't his until his father died. Nina thought his breath was horrible--after drinking so much--but apparently the conversation stinged her more.
"So which college are you going to?" he asked. Nian was surprised, this was the first time he asked something about her in their 20 minute(which was probably shorter) conversation.
"Yale," she answered.
"Ah, I go to Princeton. Did you know that I owned a hotel in France?"
"Nina!" someone called. It was Lana.
"Hi, Lana."
She was so glad for the intrusion, she didn't even try to run away this time.
"We need to talk," she said, glancing at the Carlo/Monte.
Nina nodded. "It was nice meeting you, Carlo."
He nodded as he downed his already empty glass. "Goodbye, pretty girl." He turned his attention to another girl, who looked so happy she looked like she was hyperventilating. "I own a France in hotel," Nina heard him say. The girl looked so amazed, she forgave his delinquency.
Nina and Lana exploded into peels of laughter as they walked away from the match made in heaven.

"You broke it off with him, didn't you?" she asked, playing with the condensed water on her glass.
"Yeah," she answered, feeling like she should be awkward but something about Lana made her want to tell the truth. Maybe it was because she was so innocent.
"I know you loved him," she started, staring at the drops of water, "I know it was hard for you to do that. And I'm so sorry you had to." When she looked up, Nina saw that her eyes were red. "I just... don't know what to do!"
"It's okay," Nina comforted.
"No it's not!" She was crying now. Tears streaked her face. "I shouldn't love him! But I do. And I feel guiltier."
"I didn't break it off, because he was with you. I broke it off, because I didn't love him," Nina lied. It hurt so much to say it, but it hurt more to see a girl crying because of her. Sort of, anyway.
"Really?" she stopped crying, her nose was red though. Nina saw that she was wearing water-proof mascara.
She nodded, feeling her heart getting heavier by the second.

Tinseltown Lies; 69: Intentions.

2010-02-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

It was a bright Sunday morning.
Nina, dressed in a simple white tee and jeans, could be found in a small cafe a few blocks from her father's house. She was nursing a latte while she read 'Pride and Prejudice'.
As she looked up from her battered copy, she saw Avery pulling a chair for a girl. Nina ducked behind her novel. The girl had short dark hair, from what Nina could tell from her back profile. Avery was laughing at something she had said.
So that's what the sneaking was about. Avery was dating someone.
The girl excused herself to the bathroom and Nina swooped right in.
"Nina!" he said, surprised. His smile disappeared as he saw her. "Wh-what are you doing here?"
"Uh, I need my dose of caffeine too. Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?" Nina asked, sitting in the girl's vacated seat.
"Um, because---"
"Ash?" Nina said, seeing Ash walk out of the bathroom. "Oh my. Avery, are you dating Ash?"
"What?" Ash said, taken aback. Her face twisted into confusion. "No! Oh my god, no!"
"Then...why are you sneaking and lying, Avery?" Nina asked.
Avery sighed. "I like Elle. I've been taking advice from Ash."
Nina's mouth curved into an 'O'. "That makes sense, I think. But why didn't you just come to me?"
"I thought it was obvious, Nina! He's embarrassed," Ash helped.

As Nina drove home from that weird situation, she saw a foreign car parked in the driveway. It was a sleek black Mercedes. Looking further up, she saw that James was walking up to the front porch.
James.
What did he want?
"James?" she called, uncertainly. He turned and she came face to face with a guy who looked like Alex, but was a little bit taller and had a certain playfulness in his greenish-blue eyes. He smiled as he looked at her.
"Hey, long time no see and talk," he said, giving her an awkward one-armed hug. Awkward for her, not so much for him. This boy was never fazed.
"What're you doing here?" she asked, as they walked to the house together.
"They're announcing who inherits what," he answered. They walked inside. James sat at the counter, while she made coffee. "And I thought maybe I'd drop in for a visit."
She nodded, her back to him. She knew that James was going to do all the talking, so there was no point for her to even try to start up a conversation.
"I went to rehab," he told her.
She spun around. "Really?"
"Yup. Thanks to you."
"What did I do?"
He smiled at the marbled counter top. "It made me think how a girl like you, would never date the guy I used to be. So I cleaned up my act."
"In the end, it's always about the girls."
"The girl," he corrected, while she boiled some water. "I wanna be the right guy for the right girl."
She hid her smile. Who would've thought that the flirty James, who seemed to only have parties, girls, liquor and weed in his brain would turn out like this. And he claims that she had something to do with it.
"Listen, I heard about you and Alex," he started, grimacing at the coffee he just sipped. "That's um, strong."
"I didn't add sugar."
"Right." He dumped four spoonfuls of sugar into his bitter coffee. "Anyway, I'm sorry about the two of you."
"It's alright," she answered, making herself busy by rearranging the cutlery.
James was silent as he drank his coffee. He set the empty mug down, and clasped his hands on the counter. "I should go. But before that, you're invited to my home-coming. It's at the Formosa Cafe."
I wondered idly, if Alex was going. If he was, it'd be an awkward night. "Um, is--"
"Yes, he's going," James interrupted, seeming to have read her mind. "With Lana. But all your friends are coming, too."
"Oh, um..." she thought of a lame excuse. "I think I'll be busy."
"You don't even know when the party is."
"Oh, when is it?"
"Tonight."
"Busy busy as a bee!"
"You're a bad liar," he observed, eyebrows knitted. "Come on, Nina. If you're alright with Alex having a girlfriend--"
"I am!"
"--then come to the party."
"It'll be awkward for the both of us."
"You'll be surrounded by me, and your friends. So what do you say?"
She sighed. "Fine."
"Great, I'll pick you up at 8."
"I can just go there, you know."
He smiled, as if he found the whole thing amusing. "You're my date."
"I'm your what?" she said, surprised. She thought it was a casual hangout.
"You can't go in, unless you have a date."
"What kind of rule is that?"
"A good one. Look, it's my birthday, I can do what I want, can't I?"
Nina's eyebrows furrowed, in confusion. "I thought you said it was your home-coming. Your birthday's tonight? I mean, today?"
He nodded. "So, can you do this? For me?"
"Okay," she agreed. "Only because it's your birthday."

Tinseltown Lies; Ch 68: Where do we go from here?

2010-02-26T11:22:00.000+08:00

Nina was comforting herself with a late-night snack(dark coffee and a bagel) when she heard someone at the door. Dropping her half-eaten bagel, she went there, armed with the only thing she could find in her moment of panic; a butter knife.
She leaned against the wall, as the figure entered her house.
"GOTCHA!" she screamed at... "Avery?"
Avery, shielding his face, was now looking at her like she was a madman. "You were gonna hurt me...with a butter knife? Really, Nina, really?"
"I panicked," she said, defensively. "You're home late."
It was Avery's turn to be defensive. "So what? I met some friends."
"You don't...have friends."
"I'm tired. Night."
He went upstairs, leaving Nina confused but much more than that; curious.

"So, how are you and Lana?" Josh asked Alex, nonchalantly. He knew the meticulous details from Halley, who was at that time, seething from her fight with Nina. If Josh had to guess, Halley was actually mad at herself.
"What about me and Lana?" Alex asked, focusing on his Adidas shoe lace.
Josh cleared his throat, signaling Jason to ask.
"I mean, Nina's back..." Jason left the sentence hanging, willing Alex to answer him.
Alex was silent, and after tying his shoelace in three different ways he straightened up and sighed. "I made a mistake."
They were both silent.
"She knows about Lana. Nina, I mean. She doesn't wanna try. So I guess I'm just gonna make it work with Lana."
Josh and Jason exchanged glances. Though they liked Alana, they preferred Nina. Reason one being that she was Alex's first and only love and reason two being that Nina and Alex had been through a lot together. With history like that, it was possible for them not to be together.
"But...it's Nina," Josh said.
"What can I do, Josh?" Alex snapped. "Blame your girlfriend for match-making me with her."
"Halley was just trying to help. You were in really bad shape before Lana came along. She took your mind off things, did you remember that?" Josh retaliated, furious that Alex was bringing his girlfriend to this mess.
"Ironically, Lana is the reason I'm in bad shape, right now."
"Lex, don't say that. She loves you, man. And who told you to lead her on, anyway?" Jason spoke up.
"It made sense at the time. It doesn't matter anymore. Nina and I will never be together."
"Alex--"
"Let's play."

"Hey," Halley said, tentatively, taking a seat across Nina.
After yesterday's outburst, Halley called Nina to meet up for some coffee. She convinced herself that it wasn't guilt that was doing it.
"Hi," Nina greeted back, glancing shortly at her before looking at the menu.
There was a moment of awkward silence as the two bestfriends mulled over what to say and when best to say it.
"I'm sorry," they both said.
"Me first," Halley blurted. "When you left Alex was in a really bad shape and in the same time my cousin Lana decided to visit me and she said that she just broke up with her asshole of a boyfriend and at that time prom was coming up and Alex was the only one of us who didn't have a date so I scheduled for them to meet up and Alex seemed to smile a bit as he talked to her and I thought that maybe they could just flirt with each other if it took Alex's mind off things so they went to prom together and they kissed and then everything just escalated and I didn't think at all when Alex asked if he was making the right choice because it seemed like he was because he was smiling and what I'm trying to say is I'm such a bitch and I don't deserve to be your bestfriend."
Nina was taken aback at Halley's run on sentence. But she did catch the gist of it; Alex needed to move on and Halley was just trying to help him and at the same time, help her cousin. "It's okay, Halley. I'm sorry too. When I went to the Hamptons, I was only thinking about me. Alex does deserve to move on."
"I'm really sorry," Halley said, frowning.
"It's alright."
Nina was lying and the only person she was fooling was herself.

Live today, gone tomorrow.

2010-02-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

A mother's cry,
echoes her pain.
Her tears beat,
the monsoon rain.

But much sadder than that,
is a father's cry.
Whose heart breaks,
when he says goodbye.

So happy, and carefree,
he was yesterday.
No one ever thought,
it would be this way.

For one painful day,
we all unite.
Regardless of our
childish fights.

For one day,
we all feel sorrow.
For the man,
who won't see tomorrow.

May you rest in peace, Uncle Nuh.
Amin.

You.

2010-02-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

I miss when you smiled at me,
because you were plain happy.
I miss when you laughed at my jokes,
though they weren't funny.

I miss the fact that you
would make everything okay.
I miss the fact
that you were the highlight of my day.

Now you smile at her,
because you're 'happy'.
You laugh at her jokes,
which I didn't find funny.

Your mere presence,
breaks my heart.
But your smile,
tears it apart.

I can't take the fact,
that you're happy.
More so, when you're
without me.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch. 67: Bad Romance.

2010-02-24T13:28:00.000+08:00

Nina walked out of Alex's two-story house, the sun slowly making its appearance. She smiled to herself. After consoling the nearly suicidal Alex, they both fell asleep. Nina woke up at five in the morning and decided to head home. She left him a note, saying that she'll see him soon.
Her father has absolutely no idea of her coming home. This should be interesting, she thought to herself. During the duration, Nina was in The Hamptons, she and her father communicated by means of calling. Seeing her young and usually very busy father, made her heart soar.
As far as her father was concerned, Avery was the only one who had come back.

"Hi, dad," Nina said, as she watched her father rub the sleep in his eyes from the kitchen stool. He was wearing his favorite dark blue robe over his matching blue pajamas and comfy white slippers.
He stopped rubbing, jolted awake by her appearance. "Nina?"
"You look tired," she said, hugging him. He patted her back, his chin on her head.
"Not anymore. I have a meeting at 1, but I'm free until then. Want to grab some breakfast?" he asked.
"Can I come?" Avery interrupted, walking into the kitchen.
"Of course," he said. "Oh, Nina, did you visit Alex?"
She nodded, pouring her father a cup of coffee.
"How is he?"
"Getting there," she answered. "I'm meeting him for dinner, if that's okay."
Her father nodded, his mouth occupied by the bitter coffee. "What are you gonna do, Avery?"
With that question, Avery tensed up. He sat up straighter, and looked away. "I'm just gonna...chill at home."
What was that about? Nina shrugged her suspicion off. Avery was always brutally honest.
Wasn't he?

"I'm telling you, Nina, you shouldn't have left," Halley said, sipping her mocktail. They were at Nobu, catching up. All the girls were there. And all of them looked different then she had remembered. Then again, a lot can happen in 3 months.
Halley, Nina was delighted to know, still the same bubbly person she was 3 months ago. She and Josh had a smooth sail after a bumpy ride. She was aspiring to become a model and decided to take a sabbatical before going to UCLA with Josh.
Ash was back to her normal self. After an experimental make-over, Ash was back to her dark and short haircut. She was attending Julliard. Unfortunately, Matt and her hadn't worked out. They broke up a week ago.
Boyfriendless and loving it, Elle winked at a cute waiter who flushed and nearly dropped his tray. Elle, no matter what, always looked gorgeous. Her light brown hair was layered to perfection, with heavy bangs covering her forehead. Princeton was the only college she got accepted to. After a few tantrums, mostly related to Allan and how he was attending Princeton, she decided to go to Princeton as well. Saying, more than once, that Allan had nothing to do with the final decision.
Alicia's usually straight gingered hair, was now loosely curled. Nina was pleased to find out that her and Jason became more than friends. And had been for the last three months. Jason was going to Harvard while she studied in UCLA.
She was about to drink her water, when a waiter accidentally bumped against the table, spilling her drink over her white blouse.
"I'm sorry," he apologised, bowing his head.
"It's alright," she said.
"Yeah, we forgive you. Cause you're so cute!" Elle whispered the last line, winking as she did so. He blushed.
"Can you direct me to the bathroom?" she asked, already getting up.
Her led her to the girl's toilet and after another apology, left her.
She ripped some toilet paper and began drying her shirt.
A sob echoed through the toilet. And another...and another. Nina said nothing, and continued rubbing.
The girl finally exited the stall, her eyes were red and her face blotchy. Streaks of mascara ran down her cheeks. She took the sink next to Nina, washing her face.
"Are you alright?" Nina asked.
The girl looked down. "My b-b-boyfriend. We've been t-together for three months, n-now," she said through uncontrollable sobs. She took a deep breath and continued. "I love him. He's great. But he's in love with someone else. His ex-girlfriend to be precise. For the three months that we were together, he seemed over her. But she's back now, and he seems like he still loves her. I just got back from Arizona, and I came to visit him. He looked okay despite the fact that--Oh! Look at me, dumping this all on you! I barely even know you. I'm sorry, I do this when I'm upset."
She smiled apologetically. She was pretty in a girl-next-door kind of way. In a sea of fake blondes, Nina didn't doubt that she was real. She had an air of innocence about her.
"I find it easier to talk to strangers than people I know," Nina said.
She smiled, her whole face glowing, even though her make-up was destroyed. "Alana Mcalkins," she introduced, extending her hand.
"Nina Broderick," she answered, shaking her hand.
Alana tilted her head, scrutinizing her. "That's so funny. My boyfriend's ex is Nina." By the mere thought of him, she frowned once again. "What hurts the most, is that I know he loves her. He was a wreck when she left him. And I knew that, but I still found myself attracted to him. Even when I saw the note at his bedside table, this morning. Obviously, she was there with him."
"Did you confront him?" Nina asked.
She nodded. "He said maybe we should take a break. I was so upset, I didn't know what to say. I just went to my bestfriend and she brought me to lunch. Then I got a text message from him and he said. 'I'm sorry, Lana. But it's not fair to you or me, if I keep pretending. I'll always love you.' So I guess that's that." Lana took a deep breath. "I don't even blame him for still being in love with her. From what cousin, Halley says, she's really--"
"Halley?" Nina asked. She thought it was weird the that she and Lana's boyfriend's ex had the same name but now Halley, too?
"Yeah. Bennet. Why?"
Nina's heart sank. This can't be. She tried to calm her irregularly beating heart. "What's your boyfriend's name?"
"Alex Anderson."

Nina waited at her living room, in her simple white t-shirt and jeans. Avery just left and her father notified her of his late arrival through the sticky note on the fridge.
She rubbed her perspiring hands on her jeans. She hoped it was all coincidence. And she kept telling herself that, nearly believing it everytime.
The sound of wheels scratching against the gravel could be heard. Nina stood up and anticipated the doorbell. She wasn't disappointed.
"Hey," Alex greeted, holding a dozen of roses in his hands. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and gray sports jacket. "You're uh, going like that?"
"Come inside," she said, robotically. She handed the roses to her maid and joined Alex in the living room. He sat, while she stood, arms crossed.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.
"Who's Alana?" His face paled and he kept quite. "Oh my god. She's your girlfriend isn't she?" her knees buckled and she sat down on the white sofa.
"Nina, I love you. I've always loved you. I don't...love her that way."
"Maybe you should've thought of that before you asked her to be your girlfriend."
He stood up and walked to her. On his knees, he took her hands. "I only did it because Halley told me I needed to move on. We were flings and at the time, it seemed only right to make it exclusive."
She withdrew her hands and crossed her arms. "Halley told you to do this?"
He nodded, getting up. "I'm sorry, Nina. You're the one. Always. It doesn't matter. Me and Lana are done now."
"How can you say that?" she snapped, standing up. She was surprised that she could stand and form sentences without breaking. "She's not a toy, Lex. She has feelings. She's real. How would you feel if I broke up with you for someone?"
He looked away. "Hurt."
"Exactly. I'm not gonna be a home wrecker."
He looked at her, with eyes full of hurt. She tried not to cave in. His heart was just healing from his father's death, and she tore it apart again. "I should go."
She didn't say anything. Not even when he left the house and drove away. Oblivious to the fact, that he was taking her heart with him.

"Prom was awesome!" Halley babbled on.
They were currently in her room, catching up to what happened in the three months. Nina was away.
Nina wasn't paying attention. She was thinking of ways on how to say what was on her mind.
"Did Alex have a date?" Nina asked.
Halley's smile faltered. "Yeah. Unfortunately."
"Or was he with Lana?"
Halley turned sharply to her, her smile was gone. "You...know?"
"You match-made them, didn't you?" Nina asked, she was acutely aware of the tension bubbling under that sentence.
"Well, I--"
"How could you do that? Aren't we bestfriends?"
"You weren't there, Nina!" she snapped. They were both up, now. And by the looks of it, they were going to erupt. "Alex was so hurt! He loved you, okay. So I thought maybe I could distract him."
"By giving him a girlfriend? He was my ex! You knew I loved him!"
"NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! HE WAS HURT!"
"I'M NOT MAD THAT HE MOVED ON. I'M MAD THAT YOU HELPED HIM!" Nina screamed. She was so angry, that she didn't notice the tears that rolled down her cheeks.
"He deserves to be happy, too, Nina," Halley mumbled.
Nina didn't say anything as she left.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch. 66: If we ever meet again.

2010-02-21T07:48:00.000+08:00

Nina breathed in the cold morning air outside her mother's Hampton mansion. There were tiny hints of winter in the slippery pool, the stiff leaves and the wisp of air that was evident whenever she exhaled.
It's been two months since she last left LA. Two months since she talked to Hally and most importantly, Alex.
At the thought of him, an image of a tall guy with auburn hair came to mind. His striking green eyes twinkled as he smiled, which he often did whenever he was around her.
But his image quickly shifted to someone she had trouble recognizing. His eyes became cold and hard like the freezing pool. His smile became forced and distant. And worst of all, he was looking at her, with eyes of hatred.
Nina shook her head violently. That was in the past now. Her life in LA was over.
She took a deep breath of sharp air and walked over to the mail box. A bunch of letters were stuck there this morning. She scanned them as she walked back to the warm house.
Three letters were, amazingly, for her. She ran inside, nearly slipping in her white Chanel flats.
The three letters were from the colleges she applied for; Yale, Harvard and Brown.
She wanted to shout for someone to sit with her as she tore the letters open but nerves rendered her mute. Thankfully, Avery chose that moment to walk downstairs. His hair stuck up at every possible side and his dark eyes squinted as he saw her sitting cross-legged at the coffee table, the letters arranged in alphabetical order.
"What's going on?" he asked, approaching her.
She pointed to the letter eyes, wide eyed.
"Brown...Harvard...Yale? Are these..."
She nodded.
"Have you opened them?"
She shook her head. "You do it."
Avery exhaled and sat down, gathering the letters in his hand. "Brown." He tore the letter open and took out the letter. His eyes looked over the piece of paper. "You got accepted!"
Nina breathed a sigh of relief. Brown wasn't her dream college, but at least she had a back-up plan.
"Alright, Harvard," he announced, picking up the letter as he laid the other one down. "Waiting list, sorry."
"It's alright," she exhaled.
"Let's do Yale together," Avery said. Yale was a big deal. Yale was, her reason for studying.
"Open our eyes at on 3. 1, 2...3!"
Congratulations...
"HOLY--" Avery said, jumping up. "Congratulations, Nina!"
"Oh my god!" she said, collapsing on her mother's couch. "Oh my god."
"Whats' going on?" her mother asked. She was wearing a formal white blouse and black pencil skirt.
"Nina got accepted to Brown and Yale!"
There was a hint of smile at her mother's red-lacquered lips. "Harvard?"
"Waiting list," Nina said, head held high. She was in an ultimate high.
"Congratulations," her mother said. "I'll be home late. You can order take out."
That was as close as her mother was going to get to being proud of her one and only daughter.

"Coco, this dress is ridiculously itchy," Halley whined. Her tone was cheery but she was oozing hate. The black and signature frilly Oscar de la Renta dress, made her want to scratch herself to death.
"Darling, this is fashion. Learn to be uncomfortable," the gay but lovable photographer advised his eyes glued to the lens.
"When's this 'protege' of yours coming?" Halley asked, showing off her pearly whites to the camera.
"Soon. She's not my 'protege'. I just like to shoot her, that's all. She recently got accepted to Yale," he said, remembering Nina's phone call this morning when she announced she had been accepted to her dream college.
"Good for her. Oh, time out. Need to get that," Halley said, answering Josh's call. "Hellooooo."
"Alex's father died," Josh whispered. "I'm in the hospital. We need to go to the burial."
"What? Um, okay. Be there soon." She hung up and wrapped around the fact that Alex' father had died. Alex was probably devastated. "Alright let's do this quick. I need to attend a funeral."

Nina shut the door to the town car with Avery in tow.
After calling Coco, he had suggested that they celebrate with a fun and non-work related photoshoot. He also said that a certain model was gonna be there and that he'd like us to meet each other. The girl reminded Nina so much of Halley. She immediately said yes.
As she neared the studio, she thought she could hear Halley's voice. She smirked and headed inside.
It really was Halley.
"Halley?" Nina said, over the loud whirring of the fan.
Halley turned and her jaw dropped. "Nina? NINA! OMG NINA!"
The two embraced in a hug, crying and laughing and crying.
"What are you doing here? It doesn't matter! You're here! I missed you sooooooo much!" Halley babbled.
"Me too," Nina said.
"You two know each other?" Coco asked, abandoning the photos.
"We're bestfriends!" Halley answered. "Wait, is this the girl you were talking about?"
"Sure is."
"You got accepeted to Yale? Oh my god! That's awesome! You deserve it!"
Nina smiled and nearly forgot Avery. He was at the buffet table, stuffing his face with bagels. Typical.
"I'll let you two catch up," Coco said, "I need to choose your best photo which'll be hard."

"Nina, you have to come back," Halley said, after she changed into her comfortable and non-itchy shirt and jeans. "Alex is in a terrible state."
Nina's smile faltered and she looked away. "That's not my problem anymore."
"He's been drinking and smoking and--"
"We've broken up. He wanted it. I can't just--"
"Nina--"
"--abandon my life to please him--"
"Listen--"
"--just because he has problems."
"His father died."
Nina went silent. "When's the earliest flight?"

"Alex, please, open the door," his mother begged for the twentieth time.
After the funeral, Alex had immediately went to his room and barricaded the door. He stole all his father liquor too.
He sat at the beige arm chair and looked outside the floor to ceiling window that overlooked the garden. The chair, the liquor the room. Practically everything smelled and reminded him of his father. He looked at the coffee table next to him. It was a family picture. Everyone was there and everyone was...smiling. His father's right hand was on his mother's shoulder and their hand were around Alex and James' shoulder.
He held the picture in his hand and threw it across the room, the frame shattering into pieces.
"Alex, dude, open the door! It's us, man," Josh's calm voice seeped through his mahogany door. He downed his scotch in one gulp.
"Alex, it's Jason. Open the door," Jason said.
Avery stood up and went to his bed side table, where the stereo he stole from James' room sat. He pressed played and a loud music erupted. He poured himself more scotch.
"We're all as upset as you are, Lex!" James yelled. "Open the door!"
He leaned his head back again the chair.
"Alex, it's me. Open the door."
It was a girl's voice. He smirked. He was so drunk, he could hear Nina's voice. He drunk more scotch.
"Alex, please," she pleaded, sounding desperate. He smiled.
"I don't care if I'm just imagining your voice, so long as I hear it," he said.
"Alex, you're not imagining it! I'm really here! Open the door and I'll prove it."
Alex sat up but said nothing.
"Please," she sobbed.
"She's really here, Lex," Halley said. "Just let her in. We won't come in."
"Alright," he agreed and slowly opened the door.
Nina headed inside and Alex quickly locked the door and barricaded it with the drawer.
"It's really you," he said. More to himself than to her.
He was in really bad shape. When she left, he looked tired, disheveled. Now he looked...absolutely exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot, hair unkempt, dark circles, unsurprisingly, under his eyes, tie askew, buttons undone. And that was just him. His room was...a mess, to say the least. His bed was unmade, there were broken fragments of glass...everywhere. Pillows ended up on the other side of the room. Tables and chair were turned upside down. It was...horrifying.
"Alex...how are you?" she asked.
His back was to her, as he poured himself more liquor. He scoffed.
"You wanna know how I am?" he turned back to her. "I am, officially, the head of my dad's business. I am in charge of more than a thousand workers and their families. And I'm only seventeen. I lost my dad and now, I've lost you. I have no one, Nina."
He downed his drink.
"That's not true. You have your mother, James, Josh and Jason. And me."
He looked up. "I do?"
"I love you, Alex."
He smiled before collapsing.

Pain.
The only word to describe how Alex was feeling. His head throbbed.
"Hey," Nina said, softly.
Alex had thought that it was a dream. But it really had happened. Nina was back. If it weren't for his head, he would be smiling by now.
"Hi," he croaked. "I'm in pain."
"I would think so," she said, "You finished a bottle of scotch. Idiot."
He chuckled. "I missed you."
"Me too." She turned to the bed side table and grabbed a bowl of...soup. "Your mom told me you haven't eaten since yesterday."
"I'm not hungry," he said, cringing at the chicken soup.
Nina frowned. "Alright. I made this, you know. I guess I'll just have to throw it away."
"You made it?" he said, eyes widening. "Why didn't you say so? I am starving!"
Nina suppressed a laugh and fed him the soup. "How is it?"
"So good! Mmm." He smiled. It wasn't until the tenth spoonful that he realized she was lying. "You didn't make this did you?"
"Nope," she admitted, placing the soup back down. "Here. A cure for your hangover!"
"Tomato juice." He smiled.
"You taught me well."
"Yes, I did." Then he just stared at her, as she fluffed his pillow. "I love you."
She looked at him and her heart soared. "I love you, too."
And that moment, she realized, that no matter what happens, it'll always be Alex she loves. It has always been Alex.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch. 65: Misinterpretation.

2010-02-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

"Yes, I understand. I'll be there as soon as possible," Alex said. Who knew CEOs could be so demanding. A little mistake in PR, and Alex had to step in. They were partners, for goodness sake. But of course, he was the junior partner and so, whatever the senior wants, the senior gets. "Goodbye."
Alex sighed and leaned his head back on the leather head rest.
The cosmos probably hated him and so, his cell vibrated. "Can't I get a break?" Fortunately it was just Josh. "This better not be about another party you want to score an invite to--"
"Go buy Vogue now! Halley wants to keep it from you but I think you should see it! I've to go. She's coming!"
Alex shook his head at his bestfriend's sudden insanity. But of course, curiosity got the better of him. "Ricardo, go buy the new issue of Vogue, will you."

Ricardo got in the car and handed Alex the magazine through the little window that seperated the back seat and the front seat.
Alex took it out and nearly choked on his chilled champagne. There, grazing the cover of Vogue, was Nina.
He flipped open his cell and quickly dialed one of his bodyguards to track where the magazine came from. Sure it seemed a bit of a psychotic move, okay maybe it was a psychotic move, but he needed to see her. At least justify his actions.
But something caught his eye. Nina...was smiling. It wasn't her icy smile either. She was happy. Without him. He traced her smile with the tip of his index finger.
"I love you," he said, hoping she would hear.
Then he hung up the phone.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch. 64: Let's see how far we've come.

2010-02-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

"Nina, what are you doing today?" her mother asked, sipping her coffee gingerly. A New York Review paper was in her heavily accessorized hand.
"I don't know. I thought maybe I'd go out with Avery," she answered.
"Good, you're not busy." Nina scoffed. Going out with Avery was of course, not quite as significant as whatever her mother was about to present. No doubt, she was about to present something. She always did when she asked questions regarding Nina's plans. "One of my friends is looking for a model since one of hers decided to quit. Quite unfortunately, at the same day, the shoot was about to take place. She says you have the face for it. And that she heard of your little modeling when you were in California."
Nina kept quiet, knowing full well, her mother wasn't finished. She swirled her scrambled eggs around the stark white plate.
"So, would you like to do it?" she finally asked. "Why not do something productive while you're here? It's for a good cause."
Nina sipped her coffee before answering. "What cause?"
"Poverty, I think."
"I'm not sure, Mother. I already made plans with Avery."
"Then by all means, bring Avery along."
"Alright," she agreed reluctantly. Her mother wasn't going to take no for an answer. "I'll do it."
"Good." Her mother smiled, creases appeared at the side of her mossy green eyes.

"You must be Nina!" A short guy with a loud voice said. His hair stuck up on all sides and his eyes were wide. By the looks of it, the cup of coffee in his hand, wasn't his first. "I've heard so much about you! My! You do take after your mother. Flawless skin, silky hair and all that. Come come come, we don't want to delay EVERYTHING. That would be a catastrophe!"
Nina smiled and nodded. It was her automatic response for people who liked to chat, and seldom listened.
"And who might this be! You're quite the Adonis, aren't you?"
"I'm Avery," Avery extended his hand.
"Firm," the guy commented. Nina suppressed a laugh as Avery surreptitiously cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh excuse me. My name's Conan Cory. Coco for short.."

Turns out the cause wasn't about poverty, it was about Haiti. To spread awareness, apparently. Which is why Nina was currently stripped of her make-up and wearing only simple Se7en jeans and a pink T-shirt that had the words, "Save Haiti" in white on it.
"Smile," Coco instructed, behind the lens. Nina did so, wondering exactly why she was smiling and what there was to smile for. It was hot and the lights were aiming directly at her face.
"So how exactly am I helping Haitian people?" Nina asked, in between shots.
"This'll be on the cover of Vogue. Well, I'm not quite sure. But your face is just right for the cover. So I think--"
"She asked how she's going to benefit the Haitian people," Avery said.
"Oh right! Well, like I said, people will look at this shirt in Vogue, awareness spread. On top of that, these shirts are on sale. And the profits will all go to Haiti."
"Well then I'd better make these sell," Nina said.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch 63: Distractions.

2010-01-29T15:20:00.000+08:00

"And that, is how you use a sidekick," Jacques rambled on. He was until now, instructing his 6 year old brother on how to correctly use his mother's sidekick. Avery kept mocking him, mouthing the words he predicted Avery would say. Nina was content at the fact that his Frances, Jacques brother, didn't understand or better yet, wasn't even listening. It was, quite childishly, satisfying.
"Quite an insight," Avery said sarcastically.
"Could you do any better?" Jacques retaliated, pushing his loose glasses up his nose. Considering that his dad could afford ten of those, and in excellent condition nonetheless, it was quite odd.
"Hands down." Avery was head to head with Jacques now. Well he would be, if he wasn't 6 inches taller.
"Prove it."
"And risk being a nerd like you? No, thank you." Nina rolled her eyes at the sudden show of testosterone pride and picked up a Vogue magazine.
"It seems that your self-esteem is low. Why else would you be frightened of embarrassing yourself? Your--"
"Shut up," Avery snapped. Nina peeked from the top of her magazine to see that Avery's eyes were wide with rage. Frances had apparently left to play with his sand box.
"Is that what you say when you're losing a fight?" Jacques went on. Despite the fact that Avery had shoved him. Considering that Avery was more built than Jacques, that single shove alone must've caused bruises.
Nina threw the magazine at Avery's head, stalling for time. She then put herself between the two fuming boys.
"Enough! Avery please, have some dignity." He unclenched his fist and struggled to calm his breathing.
"He never had one in the first place," Jacques said. That was when Avery, previously calmed, grabbed Jacques glasses. He was probably aiming for his hair but Jacques had smoothly stepped back.
"Avery stop it!" Nina said authoritatively. Avery glared at Jacques before smashing Jaqcues spectacles with his foot.
Then a single word came out of Jacques mouth. A word so odd coming from him. A word that showed how angry he was. "Asshole!"
Then he pushed Nina aside. She fell to the soft cushion. He then punched Avery square on the jaw. It wasn't that strong compared to what Avery could've done but he did stagger backwards. Avery was dizzy enough for Jacques to pick up the remains of his glasses and walked out of the violent scene.
"That--"
"Just let it go, Avery. It's not worth it," Nina said. She was, to be honest, furious at the fact that Jacques had shoved her.
"Flimsy punch, I say," Avery ranted, searching the freezer for some ice. "Did you see his face when I smashed his specs? Retard."
"It was puzzling," Nina said. "You called him a bunch of names and he didn't respond like that."
"Whatever," Avery said, icing his jaw. "I'll get him."
I shook my head. "I'm gonna find him."
"Why the hell?"
Nina ignored him, not knowing exactly why she was doing it. She walked around the mansion before finding him at the backyard, trying to piece back his hopeless glasses.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"It's not exactly like you would care," he snapped. Nina approached him anyway. And sat next to him at the wooden bench.
"Why would you think that?" she asked, drinking in the sun.
"Because you're close with Avery."
"It doesn't mean I can't be close with you too, right?" she went on. It was true, she didn't like him. She found him obnoxious and pompous. But something in the look in his eyes when Avery smashed those glasses that pitied him.
"Yes, it does." He turned to her, his eyes squinting because of the strong sun. "Why are you making an effort to be nice now? You hate my guts. Don't think I don't know that Avery was mocking me while I was instructing my brother. You didn't stop him. So why, why exactly are you here? To see if I was crying? To tell Avery that I was and mock me some more? Hm? Answer me."
"Oh shut up!" she emphasized each word slowly. "Just shut up. You think you're so smart don't you? You think you know everything don't you? You think you can see how humans work just by studying them? Well you don't. Don't be a smartass because two can play that childish game."
He didn't have an answer, she guessed, because he turned back to his glasses.
We were silent. It was then that something sparkled from the sun. It was actually coming from the remnants. Nina squinted and saw that there was an engraving on his black glasses. "Darling Jack". Understadning dawned on her. The glasses were of sentimental value.
"Who gave you that?" she asked, softly.
He turned sharply to her.
"I can be a smart ass too."
He looked down. "My mother."
Nina heard about his mother. She had died from breast cancer when he was seven or so.
"I'm--" Nina caught herself. Saying she was sorry didn't change the fact that she had died. It would only make him more bitter. "I'm thirsty. You want anything?"
He shook his head.
Nina left to find Avery. He was drinking a glass of orange juice while watching MTV Cribs. She smacked his head with a roll of newspaper.
"Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his head. "What the hell?"
"His mother gave that to him," she said. "And you smashed it!"
"I thought his mother died?"
"Exactly."
I could almost see the gears in Avery's head turning. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"Well I didn't know, now did I? He provoked me."
She pulled him by his think hair. "Apologize!"
Nina was secretly thankful for this afternoon's fight. Because it distracted her. And right now, she needed a heck of a lot distraction.

Tinseltown Lies; Ch. 62: Revolution.

2010-01-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

"I think you should stop, Lex," Halley said. She was referring to Alex's adamant calls to Nina. It started since last night, when Nina shockingly left New York. And now, this morning, Alex has been trying to get in touch with her. Halley wondered if Alex even got any sleep.
"I just...I have to get in touch with her," he said, distractedly. He redialed her number and waited patiently.
"She's not gonna pick up." Halley forked a small tomato and tenderly bit into it.
"I'm aware that she's hurt--"
"No, she's not gonna pick up even if she wanted to."
"Why?" He asked, redialing Nina's number once again. His waffles weren't even touched.
"Because I have her phone," Halley announced nonchalantly, displaying Nina's cell phone. She dropped it in her tote bag and continued eating.
Alex stared incredulously back at Halley.
"Dude, just let it go," Josh advised, "She'll come home sooner than you think."
"How'd you get that?" Alex asked, ignoring Josh's comment.
Halley took her time chewing her lettuce, mulling over how to say what she was going to say.
"I met her the night she left."
"What?"
"Yeah, what?" Ash echoed.
"Don't go Psycho on me, she didn't tell me beforehand that she left, I just found out on my own."
"You know where she is?" Alex asked. He had a faraway look in his eyes, almost like he gave up. His cell phone was on the table, abandoned. Just like him.
"Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. She needs a break, Lex. She deserves it."
"Bullshit," he snapped.
"Lex, Halley's right," Jason said. He wasn't a big supporter of Nina leaving town, but he knew between right and wrong. And right now, Halley was right, as much as it pained him to admit it.
Alex didn't reply, he simply snatched his phone and left the table.
"He'll come around," Halley said, lightly.
"Yeah and Nina'll come back," Alicia said sarcastically. "Face it, neither of them will come around."
"Enough with the pessimistic act, Leesh," Halley snapped. Looks like the truce in the hospital proved to be fruitless.
But instead of another snappy comment, Alicia surprised Halley and basically all of them by...apologising. "Sorry."
"Um, it's okay."
"Aww, now hug it out you two," Ash joked, cracking herself up. "I am so hilarious."
"Yeah, in what universe?" Halley said, earning her a high five from Leesh.
Ash scoffed. "I'll tell you in what universe....Elle tell them what universe."
"You're on your own," Elle said, laughing.
Halley looked at all her friends, and knew that even though it wasn't complete, it would suffice.

Nina stepped on the gravel pathway of her mother's Hampton house.
She breathed a content sigh of relief as Avery stepped out of the mansion, his hair sticking up in every direction. No doubt it was a new trend he picked up in wherever country he was currently living in.
"Meteor shower, huh?" Avery said, tiredly.
Nina smiled despite herself. Earlier this morning, she texted Avery saying there was going to be a meteor shower. When in fact, it was just her. Arriving at the Hamptons.
"You actually believed me, your level of gullibility astounds me." She moved sideways to give room for the chauffeur to get her bags inside and gave Avery a quick one armed hug.
"Three months of you, me and the parents," Avery noted, as they went inside.
"Can't wait," Nina said sarcastically, flashing Avery her angelic smile. "Why are you here, anyway? Your house is that way." She pointed to the neighboring mansion which as big as hers minus the sauna.
"I'm fully aware of the direction of my house," he said. "Our family's having breakfast together."
"Triple P?" Nina guessed.
"Triple P." Triple P stood for Plain Pancake Party. A nickname 7 year old Avery and 8 year old Nina made for the annual breakfast their mothers and the other 5 Archibald siblings held, due to the bland pancakes that were always present in every one of those breakfast events.
At the foyer, she could already hear a clinking of spoons. And...she realised, an arrogant male tone as he explained the function of a Tivo.
"No!" Nina said aghast. "It's here too?"
Avery nodded gravely. "Unfortunately."
They were both referring to Jacques, their obnoxious half french cousin. When they were six, Jacques stole Avery's red car and Nina's blue one. The rivalry was sealed.
Nina sighed and stepped into the dining room. All 7 of her aunt and uncle and their family were occupying the two oak tables.
"Nina," her mother's voice rang. She stood up and walked over to her only daughter. "Welcome home."
Nina smiled, as her mother robotically hugged her. It might not have been a warm hug, but it was the one she missed the most.

You're in way over your head.

2010-01-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

No one likes a liar,
who also likes to bitch.
Whenever you tell her a secret,
she's the first to snitch.

No one likes a two-face,
who pretends to be your friend.
She'll probably be friendly,
her compliments have no end.

No one likes a suck up,
who tries so very hard.
She always laughs the hardest,
to the not so funny parts.

No one likes an attention-whore,
who wants all the spotlight.
Darling, not everything's about you,
better get your facts right.

In short, dear reader,
no one likes you.
You're all of the above,
and you're annoying, too.

So please, just shut up,
your mouth and your tweets.
You think I don't know,
That you're talking about me?

Fooled.

2010-01-08T16:05:00.000+08:00

The way you stare as she moves,
the way she tries to act aloof.
She's vying for your coveted attention,
a short glance, and you're her obsession.

You're amused at her naive reaction,
so you walk over, hiding your emotion
A little whisper of flattery,
is all it takes to wobble her knees.

Pretty soon she's head over heels,
for a guy who only loves her sex appeal.
She's flattered that you chose her,
to be with you until...forever?

We all know, that's not so,
because two months later you let her go.
You were apologetic, your reason made sense,
you didn't feel the love you did back then.

And now your eyes search the floor,
all the girls you saw were a bore.
But then your eyes fall on a naive girl,
to which you claim is a pearl.

She's as innocent as innocent can be,
and that gullible girl is unfortunately...me.